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My
Testimony One verse that has kept me directed through the past few years is Proverbs 3:5: “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.” I’ve had to look at this so many times because too often I would figure the way things should be, then struggled harder than if I would have followed the Lord. I’ve had to learn the hard way that God knows everything from the beginning to the end and no matter how strange it is, God’s way is the best way. I need to trust in HIM because my understanding is so confined. This is my 5th year in the church, and I am currently a student at Gateway College of Evangelism. Five years ago I never would have imagined myself here. Like a lot of people, I was introduced to the Pentecost while visiting a friend’s church. I was raised in another denomination and always went to church on Sundays—family tradition. God was a tradition. I never had a relationship with Him. Eventually, I realized I needed something more. Something I couldn’t find at my church. So I got the Holy Ghost. One would say that after you get the Holy Ghost you get baptized, start the new convert classes, attend church regularly, and lead a totally devoted Holy life, right? Well, my family didn’t seem to think so. I have a caring family who loves me. Yet, they couldn’t understand why I wanted to convert. It was an extremely hard time for them—and me. They told me I couldn’t go to church anymore. What does something like that do to a person who has just been filled with the Holy Ghost and developed a deep indwelling hunger for something deeper in God? Well, it’s like taking candy from a child--they only desire the candy so much more than when they had it. My family’s decision to keep me from church only caused me to grow fervent in my desire to live an Apostolic life. They said I couldn’t go to church, but what if they changed their mind? Surely they wouldn’t have told me. I took matters in my own hands and I asked to go to church just about as much as their anger allowed me. I honestly believed that one day out of the blue my mom would come to me and tell me that she respected the desires of my heart and I could be Apostolic if that’s what I wanted. I would ask to go to church, but time and time and time again the only response I would get is “No!” with some excuse. I prayed before I would ask and be so filled with hope that when I was turned down it was crushing. But I never gave up. I loved God and I was going to live for him under any circumstance. I knew that prayer was the only thing I had to hold onto since I couldn’t go to church. I prayed every single night. My growth in the Lord was completely dependent upon my prayers. I learned to depend on God and not man because I had no choice. The first year I was in church my “asking” got me about 19 church services. One service meant the world to me - I didn’t take one for granted. This whole circumstance gave me a deep appreciation for church. If I fought to go I wasn’t going to waste time or take up space. I was baptized a few months after I got the Holy Ghost when, by the grace of God, I was able to go. I didn’t tell my family—I thought it would be my last service they’d let me attend. God gave me supernatural strength to endure the hard times, good friends who helped encourage me, and ever-growing faith. I struggled to go to church for two years. Without God I would have shriveled up and died, but he breathed his breath of life into me and was with me every step. Over time I was able to attend church more often. I went from going once every few months to once a month, to one service a week, to two services a week, and then, by the time I turned 18, I could go any time I wanted. It was amazing to see how my family changed throughout the years. I am so thankful that God found me and loved me enough to lead me through a long struggle so that I wouldn’t become part of the “status quo” saint—and I pray I never do. I serve a mighty God. There are reasons why God does what He does, whether or not we see it in the same perspective. Sometimes God chooses to do things so that we can learn from it, or so that someone else can learn from it, but ultimately it’s so that He receives all the glory. I couldn’t have made it without Him. I fought for this truth because of Him. If need be, I would have lived for Him without going to church for two more years because it would have been worth it. I am now at Bible school to help me prepare for whatever God has planned for the rest of my life. I don’t know what’s going to happen in my life tomorrow, or next week, or a year from now, but it doesn’t matter because He knows.
ninetyandnine.com © Joanne Slater, 1999 -------- Joanne Slater is a student at Gateway College of Evangelism in St. Louis. Have an opinion on an article? Let us know how you feel! Click feedback & fill us in. |
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