September 18, 2000
“Our goal was to catch an accurate snapshot of Apostolic romance
today. We feel like we’ve succeeded in that endeavor.”
Welcome to the first (ever) survey
of Apostolic Romance.
Being the first wasn’t our intention, of course,
because it’s hardly an original idea. It actually began as an off-shoot of
Cara Baker’s much-touted series of articles on Singles and Romance. (A
Self-Portrait: The Single Season
- July 17, 2000) We were
brainstorming about a big finale and suddenly realized that a “The Great
Apostolic Romance Survey of 2000” was the answer.
It wasn’t difficult to come up
with the appropriate questions (though some of our own staff hassled us that
there were too many), but we weren’t prepared for the response we received.
Though ninetyandnine.com is
ostensibly focused on young Apostolic adults, people of every age, shape and
form shared candid thoughts on these questions and the issues behind them; some
quoted Augustine, others offered bitter diatribes about the opposite sex, and
still others couldn’t resist lecturing the world on what they thought was
correct. In a word, it was amazing. As we should’ve known¾Apostolics
love to discuss love.
Having had some experience in the past with surveys (The
Results Are In! Let The Arguments Begin! Apostolic Survey - Part One - January
24, 2000), we knew the
tabulating the answers would take some time. We just didn’t realize it would
take over a month! (Special thanks to Aldon Cheatham and Nita Curry for their
superior efforts in this endeavor.)
The end result is both enlightening
and disheartening¾but
honesty often is. Our goal was to
catch an accurate snapshot of Apostolic romance. We feel like we’ve succeeded
in that endeavor.
Most respondents answered all of the
questions and because of the nature of this web zine (Face it, the only reason
to visit is to read articles written by Apostolics), we feel like only those
associated with the Apostolic movement answered the questions.
The opportunity to share intimate details anonymously also seems to have
opened the heartstrings of many.
Our format is simple: all of the
final tabulations are linked with a generous sampling of answers. (The answers
were left largely intact, so that the writer’s intent was as unfiltered as
possible.) On many pertinent questions we offer sidebars, where some analysis is
offered by staff and outside sources. (Some sources requested anonymity, so we
hope you’ll understand.)
A few questions received a large
portion of “No Answer” being given. It was also fascinating to note how many
people didn’t seem comfortable confronting certain questions, especially those
about French Kissing and Asking a father for permission to marry his daughter.
Ultimately, it’s up to you to
decide what these facts say about today’s Apostolics. We welcome your thoughts
on this and all related matters in our feedback
section.
The Great
Apostolic Romance Survey of 2000
Respondent
Demographics
Age
21-25
51%
17-20
22%
31-40
15%
Under 16
5%
26-30
4%
Over 40
3%
Gender
56% Females
44% Male
Marital Status
71% Single
24% Married
5% Divorced
Upbringing
76% Grew up in church
24% Joined later in life
Dating
1.
What age did you start dating?
21% at age 16
20% at age 17
20% at age 15
14% at age 14
No other age in double-digits, but
the extremes were as follows:
5% at age 12
2% at age 24
2.
What age do you feel teens today should start dating? Why?
42% at age 16
14% at age 18
10% at age 17
8% at age 15
4% at ages 19-21
3.
What is a date?
4.
As a woman, would you initially ask a man out? Why?
As a man, would you accept? Why?
Combined
Answers
Yes
23
38%
No
37
61%
Males
Yes
17
68%
No
8
32%
Females
Yes
6
17%
No
29
83%
Old-Fashioned, Traditional
or Principled?
By Cara Baker
5.
If Single: Do you/would you date non-Apostolics? Why?
If Married: Did you date non-Apostolics?
Why?
Yes
21
34%
(All grew up in church)
No 39
64%
(29 grew up in church; 10 converts said they wouldn’t once saved.)
Communion
Between Light and Darkness on Friday Nights
By Kent d Curry
Intimacy
6.
At what age did you share your first kiss?
The two extremes: Someone
admitted they were 25. Another admitted, “Sixth
grade...whatever age that was.”
The rest of the Apostolic
world answered this way:
age 13
16%
age 16
13%
age 15
13%
age 17
11%
age 14
11%
age 12
11%
7.
Have you ever kissed on a first date?
In retrospect, are you glad you did(n’t)? Why?
Yes
53%
No 47%
8.
It’s okay to kiss someone after how many dates?
9.
French Kissing
Exposé:
The French Kiss
By Cara Baker
(Choose One)
·
Never in a million dates!
·
Only if we’ve been dating for several months.
·
That’s how everyone kisses.
|
|
Male
|
Female
|
Total
|
Percentage
|
|
Never
in a million dates!
|
2
|
0
|
2
|
3%
|
|
Only
if we’ve been dating for several months.
|
5
|
10
|
15
|
25%
|
|
That’s
how everyone kisses.
|
15
|
11
|
26
|
43%
|
|
(No
Answer)
|
-
|
-
|
-
|
30%
|
10.
If Single: Have you ever been in love?
If Married: Were you in love with someone before you were married?
Yes
32
52%
No 11
18%
N/A 18
30%
11.
Are you saving/did you save sex for marriage?
Yes
46
75%
No 11
18%
NA 4
7%
A
More Melodious Tune
By Kent d Curry
12.
Men: Will/Did you ask for her
father's permission to marry her? Why/Why not?
Women: Is it important that he ask?
Combined
Answers
Yes 34
56%
No 4
7%
NA 23
38%
Males
Yes 15
88%
No 2
12%
Females
Yes 19
90%
No 2
10%
(Both said, in essence: “It’s
not important, but would be nice”)
One snidely commented, “Are there any
men w/manners?” (This vote was
not counted.)
Getting Past the Shotgun
By Cara Baker
Marriage
13.
Do you feel you have/had plenty of quality mate-candidates to choose from
among Apostolics? Explain your
answer.
Combined Answers
Yes 18
30%
No 28
46%
NA 15
25%
Males
Yes 8
42%
No 11
58%
Females
Yes 10
37%
No 17
63%
“I’ll Take the Spouse Behind Door Number 3,
Monty!”
By Kent d Curry
14.
Assuming doctrinal compatibility, what are the three (3) most important
qualities in a (future) mate?
"Three
Qualities Desired in a Mate"
By Nita K. Curry
Top Ten (in order)
1.
Walk with God
2.
Sense of humor/personality
3.
Looks
4.
Intelligence
5.
Honesty
6.
Friendship
7.
One with Goals
8.
Faithfulness
9.
Compatible
10.
Hard-worker
Answers
of Interest
1.
Submissive, but not subservient
2.
Class
3.
Likes my friends
4.
Virgin
5.
Wants Children
6.
Apostolic Background
7.
Forgiving
8.
Patient
9.
Loves me (isn’t that a given?)
10.
Humble
Answers
that Surprised
1.
No Guile
2.
Reader
3.
Competitive
4.
Great Kisser
5.
Money sense (We were surprised how little it was mentioned.)
6.
Gentlemen
7.
Shares Goals (We were surprised how little it was mentioned.)
8.
Wisdom
9.
Communication
10.
Ministries compliment each other
Read the full Romance Survey press release at evangelismonline.
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