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Dear
Gabby,
My
parents don’t want me to listen to Britney Spears.
They say she is a bad influence. I
disagree with them. I read an
article in one of my magazines talking about how Britney believes in abstinence.
Her songs really aren’t bad compared to other secular songs I have
heard. Don’t you think that her
believing in abstinence makes her music okay? Missouri
Music Lover Dear
Ms. Missouri,
You
disagree with your parents? I have
to tell you that back in the early days of the other century, young folks would
never admit that they disagreed with their parents.
That’s not to say that occasionally we wondered about their decisions;
it’s just that we’d never talk about it out loud.
I only remember that happening once, and goodness gracious, was it a
scandal! Buddy
Cooper was our town’s bad boy. He
was raised by an alcoholic father, Bud Cooper, who beat up on his mother Jane
all the time. By the time Buddy was
grown, he’d been in so much trouble, we’d lost track of it.
He stole $17 from the money drawer at the General Store when he was just
six years old, broke the school windows when he was eight, and even started a
fire at Fred’s Chicken Kitchen the next year.
He’d been in the County Jail several times by the time he was sent to
the state penitentiary for armed robbery. There
was really nothing positive about Buddy Cooper except for one thing. He was absolutely, breathtakingly gorgeous.
He was the epitome of tall, dark and handsome, and he used those good
looks in whatever ways were to his advantage.
I have to admit that just looking at him even made my
heart beat faster, but, of course, I never, ever
let him get too close to me. My
snide little sister Susannah, however, wasn’t quite so smart.
She was almost ruined by those smoldering good looks.
When Buddy got out of prison that final time, he noticed the newly
grown-up Susannah and decided to engage her affections.
He commented to his sidekick that he didn’t have anything better to do. Buddy
and Susannah began a flirtation that summer which was noticed almost immediately
by my sweet (and wise) Mama. “Susannah,”
my Mama said one morning at breakfast, “I want you to stay away from that
Cooper boy. There’s nothing good
about that young man.” And
then Susannah said the words none of us had ever said to our Mama.
“I disagree, Mama,” she said. “He’s
not so bad. It’s just that he’s
had such a bad upbringing. Everyone
misunderstands him.” “Young lady!” my Papa’s voice boomed from the end of the table,
totally drowning out our shocked gasps. “Don’t
you ever disagree with your Mama, do
you understand me? The Good Books
says to Honor your father and your mother so your days will be long on the
earth!” The
rest of breakfast was eaten in silence. Susannah,
however, was rebellious, and she’d already made plans to sneak out of her
bedroom window and meet secretly with Buddy that very night.
She told me later that she figured that no one would ever find out, and
besides, what was the harm? They
were just going to chat without everyone looking at them disapprovingly.
I’ll
never forget the midnight visit of Deputy Luther O’Reilly.
There had been a terrible accident just outside of town, and a very drunk
Buddy Cooper had been killed. His
passenger, Susannah, was in County Hospital being treated for a broken leg along
with many bumps, bruises, and abrasions. Our
entire family went together to County Hospital to pick up a much-subdued
Susannah. As
usual, my sister had to learn her lessons the hard way, but I think she did
learn them that time. Ms. Missouri,
you’d be smart to learn from my sister’s struggles yourself.
Your parents aren’t just trying to deprive you of fun times; they’re
trying to watch out for your future. Had
Susannah listened and obeyed, instead of thinking she knew better than our
parents, she would have spared herself a lot of pain.
She
struggled for a couple of years with those injuries.
She was embarrassed that the entire town knew she’d met “bad boy
Buddy Cooper” late at night and knew there were many questions about her
reputation. Plus, she had a
difficult time with the fact that she’d seen a young man die. No
matter how gorgeous Buddy Cooper was, that didn’t make him a good choice for
Susannah. Even if the singer you
talk about believes in one good thing, that doesn’t make her music a good
choice for a Christian¾especially if your parents “prefer” you
don’t listen to her music. Honor
your father and your mother if you want a long life. Sincerely
Sincere, Dear
Gabby,
My
life has fallen apart! I won’t
bore you with all the gory details except to say that my company was bought out
and I was “downsized,” my fiancée canceled our upcoming wedding, the
founding pastor of our church recently resigned, and the hard drive on my home
computer crashed and has to be replaced. I
certainly believe my life is in God’s hands, but I can’t see what He’s
doing. Can you give me some
direction? Messed-up
in Manitoba Dear
Messed-up,
Just
let me first say that details¾gory
or not¾don’t bore me! I’m the queen of details; haven’t you noticed? Have
I ever told you the story of the summer my brother Stanley’s granddaughter
Sarah came to stay with me? Since
you seem to be bored with details, I won’t share Sarah’s either, except to
say that her situation was much graver than yours.
She’d lost her husband and young son in a house fire.
Sarah
came to spend time with me at our summer cabin.
We stayed there every summer (to escape the heat of the city), and Harry
went back into town to work during the week.
Sarah and I had a lot of time to talk and cry together.
We took walks along the beach. A
few times we even splashed a bit in the water.
The
most valuable thing we did together, however, was to work on a giant 1500 piece
jigsaw puzzle. The puzzle was a
lovely picture of a nature scene with flowers in the foreground and mountains in
the distance. The two of us spent
quite a few evenings organizing the pieces and trying to fit them into the
developing scene. During
those quiet puzzle times, God taught Sarah and me lessons about life. The lovely picture shown on the outside of the box looked
nothing like the jumble of unrelated-looking pieces inside. When we just looked at one or two pieces, it was impossible
to tell what the finished puzzle would look like¾or
even what that particular piece was supposed to be.
God
showed us that those dark days in Sarah’s life were only a piece or two (or
even a small section) of what the entire picture of her life was going to be
when God was finished putting it together.
And even when one piece of the puzzle was confusing and even ugly, once
it was fit into the scene, it became part of the beautiful picture. Manitoba
my friend, I promise you that God is piecing your life together in a very
pleasing way. Please continue to
trust that He knows what He’s doing and when you’re as old as I am, and your
puzzle is only a piece or two from being finished, you’ll be able to look back
at the whole scene and see that God continues to create beautiful lives. Sincerely
Sincere, ninetyandnine.com ã 2001, ninetyandnine.com --------- Gabrigail VanBurden has been offering advice for longer than most of you have been alive. Email your practical Apostolic life questions to Gabby@ninetyandnine.com and be prepared for some straight answers!
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