First Comes Sex, Then Comes Marriage
By Kaleena Thompson
July 29, 2002
We all make mistakes that make us feel distant from God. We
feel worthless and the whole world is out to banish us from ever being a part of
His Kingdom. We may feel there is no hope for reconciliation.
For those who think that they are not worthy of starting
over in Christ, just remember that there is immediate forgiveness after
repentance.
Sex has
bombarded our society, especially college-age students, and even Christians.
This dangerous epidemic has tempted each generation, sending a domino effect
into anyone who is willing to be shaken.
Premarital sex has confronted this generation with immoral
propaganda and adulterated the true essence of sex, thus causing Truth to perish
out of the minds of people who choose to “experiment” before marriage.
What are the consequences of such a fall into temptation?
Out of wedlock pregnancy: Many know that condoms or other
contraceptives are not 100% effective. Unprepared parenthood can lead to
abortion (“Thou shall not murder”
Ex. 20:13). The only 100% guarantee is abstinence.
Diseases: This should motivate people to thwart this behavior.
STD’s and herpes are incurable diseases that can prevent you from entering
into another relationship. Why risk it?
Disobedience toward God: Elisabeth Elliot, Author of Quest
For Love and Passion and Purity, says, “While purity before marriage consists
in holding ourselves from one another in obedience to God, purity after marriage
consists in giving ourselves to and for each other in obedience to God.”
“It is God’s will
that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality” (I
Thessalonians 4:3). “What comes out of a
man is what makes him ‘unclean.’ For from within, out of men’s hearts,
come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice,
deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from
inside and make a man ‘unclean’” (Mark 7: 20-23). Need I say more?
In this pre-rapture age, people do not feel the need to
take marriage vows before venturing in to the pure relationship that is
specified in the Bible. Instead, unmarried cohabitation has indiscreetly shifted
its opinion from sinful to mainstream. The desires of humans have taken precedence over what is
biblically and morally right.
There has been an overwhelming increase in cohabitating
couples in the U.S.
Unmarried partner households: According to the 2000 Census,
there are currently about 11 million people living with an unmarried partner in
the U.S. The number of unmarried couples living together increased 72% between
1990 and 2000. It has increased tenfold between 1960 and 2000.
Unmarried childbearing and parenting: According to the U.S.
Census Bureau, America’s Families and Living Arrangements 2000, 41% of
unmarried partner households have children under 18 living in them. In the
National Center for Health Statistics, 1999 data proved that 33% of all births
are to unmarried women.
It is only in
marriage that two become one. “For this
reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife,
and the two shall become one flesh” (Matt. 19:5-6). It is a never-ending
time to share dreams, hopes and fears, finances and “bundles of joy.” The
sacredness of husbands and wives comes from the delight and joy that God joined
together.
There is a fine line that is drawn between moral and
immoral. Sex is not cherished anymore, but rather used as “game” to satisfy
pleasures. Instead of prayer and fasting as a way of deliverance, the flesh
surrenders to physical immorality. Sex is no longer looked upon as something
revered for marriage, but a time of yielding to lust. It has drawn young hearts
that profess love for each other but refuse to consummate their love by
marriage, but rather by sex, then “maybe” marriage. Elisabeth Elliot
believes, “If your passions are aroused, say so─to yourself and to God,
not the object of your passion.”
Cohabitants and future cohabitants justify their
“beliefs” by using the promise of marriage someday. Their “love”
validates premarital relations within their relationship, therefore making it
compulsory to “shack up” and test their compatibility toward marriage.
The National Marriage Project of Rutgers University reports
that the levels of happiness, sexual exclusivity, and sexual satisfaction of
cohabitating couples has plunged. “After 5 to 7 years, 39% of all cohabiting
couples have broken their relationship, 40% have married (although the marriage
might not have lasted), and only 21% are still cohabiting.”
Some say sex is a form of communication that needs to be
sorted out before marriage. Is that what a relationship is based on─sex?
How about putting emphasis on your marriage with Christ? The time before
marriage, a.k.a dating or courtship, allows the couple to build a foundation on
trust and understanding. Contrary to being ill prepared, you are equipped for
life’s storms, blizzards and occasional lightning that strikes, when your
courtship is planted on the Solid Rock and not on the sand this world has fallen
into.
Fall in love with the One. Then fall in love with the one
who He has chosen for you. Then say
“yes” to marriage!
ninetyandnine.com
© 2002, Kaleena Thompson
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Kaleena Thompson is
enjoying her summer working with local newspapers. In her spare time, she
practices her Spanish vocabulario so
she will be ready to answer when the professor calls on her.
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