|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
Beauty or Ashes? Deciphering the “Break-up” CodeBy Cara Baker and Jessica Leopold Romance is like the fragrance of magnolias on a cool spring day. Yet often the gentle breeze of love gets tainted by the unmistakable smell of cow manure. A picture-perfect scene may suddenly reek of something repulsive. As Matt Groening said, “Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine-gun.” Maybe your relationship has been turning sour for a while but you haven’t had the courage to talk about it. It has become obvious that your romance is fading and your relationship is changing. Perhaps it begins with a statement like, “We need to talk.” Often a string of cliché break-up lines follow. Each sounds very different, but all say “goodbye” faster than you can click “sign off” on AOL. To help you decipher the complex code of break-up speak, here are the real meanings behind a handful of commonly used (and abused) break-up lines. “It’s not you, it’s me.”-Actually, it’s you. It’s all you. Either your idiosyncrasies (like the way you smack loudly when you eat) have finally gotten to your boyfriend/girlfriend, or your mate has found a new date. Yep, (s)he is probably grazing in greener pastures already. But take heart! You need someone who will be patient and understanding of your flaws, and who will overlook insignificant aspects (like the way you part your hair in the same fashion as a bad toupee) and see what you truly have to offer. Who needs a restless, commitment-phobe anyway? “I just have some things to work out.”-This line wins the Most Selfish Breakup Award of the Year. While your friend tries to make it sound like (s)he’s doing you a big favor by not burdening you with his/her problems, we all know this is a cop-out. But it’s not you-it’s him/her. And it’s probably a good thing (s)he is trying to focus on working out their problems because any relationship with too much emotional baggage is bound to fail. The carry-on luggage should only be a certain size; all oversized baggage must be checked through. “I have been praying about our relationship…”-Not to negate any word from the Lord that your friend may have heard, but this phrase is often used by those who want to appear noble and righteous. Who can argue with a decision that comes directly from the heavenly throne room? Exactly. Using this line is a sure-fire way for the breaker-upper to come out looking like a saint. And if this statement is indeed truthful, it does not even need to be said. Both parties will feel confident that the Lord has other plans. “Let’s take a break.”-This could legitimately mean your friend wants to cool things off. Perhaps you became too exclusive as a couple, or have been spending too much time together. Some of the most romantic love stories are about a budding relationship that survived this “break.” Of course, there is another interpretation that pretty clearly suggests you’re getting dumped. The only break (s)he is talking about is “break up,” which is a little more significant than a 15-minute potty break in the middle of a youth social. “I hate you.”-Yeah, this line is a good indicator that you and your boyfriend/girlfriend might be having some problems. You should probably be prepared for a pretty permanent break-up after hearing these words. But chances are the feeling is mutual. Don’t feel the need to echo the sentiments, though. Be the bigger (wo)man and show the love of Jesus even though your human nature wants to put that little elf’s miniature machine gun to good use. Whatever mode of splitting you and your friend are doing, remember that the most vital fact is to remain faithful to the Lord. Don’t become so emotionally distraught that you lose your focus. Envelope yourself in the Holy Ghost and like David said: “Because thy lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise thee. …Because thou hast been my help, therefore in the shadow of thy wings will I rejoice” (Psalm 63:3,7). Last week: Top Dating Blunders Next week: How to Deal with a Breakup
ninetyandnine.com © 2002 Cara Baker, Jessica Leopold ------ |
|
|
