survey sez!
Reader's responses to The Big Question.
The Question: You and a junior colleague (about 25) are representing your
company at a dinner with another company’s representatives to close a huge
deal. It’s closed and they want to celebrate, ordering drinks. While they know
you don’t drink, your colleague has forgotten her I.D. and asks you to order
for her. What do you do?
The Answer: “Buy her a drink.”
The Answer: “Do not order! It would be the same situation as: A woman
cuts a sinner's hair but says that she doesn't believe in cutting her own hair.
This is utter nonsense. You either believe it or you do not. It would be most
hypocritical to order drinks under any circumstance.”
The Answer: “Order away - you're not called to choose other peoples
principles.”
The Answer: “Tell them, ‘Sorry, I do not drink,” and tell those
that want to drink not to have one around you, even your colleague. If you do
not stand up for your rights as a Christian, then people of the world would call
you a fake.”
The Answer: “Tell her no way. Life's hard on us all. She'll be better
off without the booze anyhow!”
The Answer: “Say, ‘I'm sorry, it's against my beliefs to drink
alcohol, so I can't help you.’ With a very nice smile.”
The Answer: “I've been in this situation, and it's no problem at all
for me to refuse.”
The Answer: “I'd say, ‘I am sorry. I don't drink myself and I don't
feel right ordering for you.’”
The Answer: “While I was in college, a friend of mine (or an
acquaintance rather) asked me to take her to a liquor store near campus. I told
her, ‘Sorry, but I don't drink, and I'm not going to promote it either, I hope
you understand.’ She said okay, and then proceeded to ask someone else...so
maybe this colleague could do the same thing. A belief is a belief---in any
situation.”
The Answer: “If she knew I didn't buy them for myself, then my
colleague should know that I wouldn't buy it for anyone else.”
The Answer: “You order any soda she prefers! It's not your fault she
forgot her ID. It's always essential to be helpful and compassionate, but lines
have to be drawn somewhere. Just sweetly tell of your conviction and perhaps the
other person will offer their ID. If not, celebrate with Dr Pepper.”
The Answer: “Absolutely nothing. The deal is closed. They know I don't
drink. I will be glad to order her a 7-Up.”
The Answer: “Politely but firmly decline.”
The Answer: “I don't buy cigarettes for people or alcoholic beverages,
so I would just politely decline. If she had a problem...oh well, she/he can
join me in a glass of sparkling cider instead.”
The Answer: “Say no. Do it politely.”
The Answer: “You're not going to drink it. Your kindness would be a
better witness than an angry tirade about the evilness of the ‘devil's brew.’”
The Answer: “Sorry, oh forgetful one, you want a drink, bring your own
ID.”
The Answer: “Aside from the fact that if your colleague is not
responsible enough to bring along proper I.D. for this occasion, they may not be
responsible enough to drink. Having said that: First, find out what the
restaurant's policy is on vouching for someone's age. Also inquire if they have
a designated driver. If your colleague is the designated driver, you may suggest
they do not drink on this occasion, since they are not only responsible for
themselves, but for anyone else that they are taxiing during the evening. Also,
they most likely are perceived as a representation/representative of the
business/company and should be aware of their party's perception. These are very
socially acceptable approaches. Try to vouch for the colleague without ordering
for them. Second, if you do provide means for your colleague to drink, do not
put yourself in a position to support an over-the-legal-limit situation. Lastly,
impress upon them that your willingness to accommodate should in no way be
misconstrued as condonement for their social behavior.”
The Answer: “It is a growing trend these days to be more strict about
minors and alcohol. If you order for someone else and the staff of the dining
establishment notice, they are very likely to approach your group about the
matter anyway. Just don't do it.”
The Answer: “I Timothy 5:22...neither be partaker of other men's sins:
keep thyself pure.”
The Answer: “I believe it would be a sin to help someone else to sin.
So, I would not buy a drink (or cigarettes, pornography, etc.) for her or anyone
else. I would politely tell her that I could not do this because it would be
against my biblical beliefs.”
The Answer: “I have been in the situation as close to that. Only it was
to buy cigarettes for a coworker. I had to tell them no. I did not smoke and I
will not buy cigarettes for them. As in this situation I will not buy alcohol
for anyone either. I will not blow my witness for Christ by buying or ordering
them a drink. Christ means too much to me to have my witness thrown out the
window. It has made others angry with me for being strict, but they have gotten
over it.”
The Answer: “Order for her.”
The Answer: “You excuse yourself, rush out to Halloween costume shop,
and buy her a grey wig so they won't card her.”
The Answer: “I'd say, ‘Sorry, you know I can't do that. Why don't you
join me in drinking soda?’”
The Answer: “Begin jerking your head, roll your eyes around, and thrash
madly around as though you're having a seizure. This will disqualify you from
having to order an alcoholic drink. If that's too drastic, then simply ask your
colleague to remove her shirt, since that would be an equally as inappropriate a
request. Or, most sensibly, since the folks with the other company know you
don't drink, ask one of them to order the drink. Next week's dilemma: when you
go to the store and your friend asks you to pick up a pack of cigarettes for
him/her.”
The Answer: “My colleague wouldn't ask me to do that. He/she would know
up front my beliefs, by my lifestyle.”
The Answer: “Being the only person not drinking would show some sort of
witness and ordering the drink for the colleague would show a non-judgmental
attitude toward everyone else so then the main concern is someone from church
seeing you order and receive the drink not understanding it is not for you.”
The Answer: “I would order for her. She can drink if she wants and I'm
not going to stand in the way. If I don't drink, that's my deal. I'm not on
earth to police the world.”
The Answer: “This is really hard. Knowing my friends, they would be
doing this just to see what I would do. I think that refusing to order drinks
would really let them know you’re firm in your beliefs. Tell them to ask the
other person next to them to order for them.”
The Answer: “I realize that I'm going to be in a minority here, but,
yes. I'm perfectly capable of sitting in an environment were drinks are served
and not partake. This is getting awfully close to forcing your religion on
others. I know that others will consider this condoning their behavior. Well,
they don't need my approval. It's not condoning anyone's behavior. It's being a
friend!”
The Answer: “Abstain from all appearance of evil. Ask if one of the
other gentlemen would be willing to do it. Not only would ordering for her be
morally wrong, but it could open up a Pandora's box of other problems back at
the office.”
The Answer: “I would refuse to buy it. I have been in these situations
before, and most of the time, if you just make one big stand, you don't have
many problems after that.”
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