|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
Addicted to Pornography I want to tell you about an addiction that I had and how God has helped me with it. No, my addiction was not to alcohol or nicotine or even drugs; it was a secret addiction. It is something many know about, but might not admit. The addiction is pornography, and yes, I was addicted. (The dictionary says that an addiction is “to devote or surrender (oneself) to something habitually or obsessively.”) I was raised in a Pentecostal home, the son of a minister. I started selling porn to students with whom I went to school. At the beginning I would only have one or two customers a week. Like most addictions, though, it grew. By the time I was thirteen, I had stopped selling porn to kids and kept the pornography for myself. With the growing addiction came a very bad attitude and deep depression. By the age of fifteen my attitude had gotten worse. It was to a point where I didn’t care if I lived or died. In fact, I tried to kill myself several times, but by the grace of God He always did something to stop me. My attitude toward my family was so bad that they didn’t want to talk to me; they were afraid of how I would react to things from day to day, minute to minute. I know it hurt my family, but to this day I can’t even imagine how much. Satan had me right where he wanted me. At seventeen I met the love of my life and she knew nothing about my addiction. I went into the military when I was eighteen, but was soon discharged. I went into a deeper depression and turned to the only thing I really knew - porn. My girlfriend and I got married when I was twenty-one, and only then did my she know about my problem. When we got married, I had 133 pornographic movies. I worked second shift and my wife worked first shift. When I was home alone, normally I was watching porn. One night I came home and she had found my movies. She asked me about them and I got angry - how dare she ask me about them? We fought for some time, and then she left. My anger was so intense that I would often blackout, and do things, later having no idea what I had done. I actually scared her to the point that she was afraid to be near me. Through all this turmoil, I still had no desire to break the addiction. Satan has a way of making sin look so appealing that I was willing to lose everything to keep my addiction. Naturally, it brought me to the bottom of life. I finally had enough. There was no place to go, but up. At first I tried to beat this addiction on my own, but it did not work. Looking back now on this experience, I realize how wonderful our God is. I was so far from church that I even cursed God, and yet, God still loved me. I should have been dead several times over, but God always intervened. How do you break a pornography addiction? • First, you
have to give your addiction to God. As Jesus said, “If you can believe, all
things are possible to him who believes” (Mark 9:3). Porn and sex are used in almost every aspect of our culture - from everyday talking to advertisements. A lot of companies use soft pornography in advertising because “sex sells.” John wrote, “Blessed are those who do His commandments, that they may have the right to the tree of life, and may enter through the gates into the city. But outside are dogs and sorcerers and sexually immoral and murderers and idolaters, and whoever loves and practices a lie” (Revelation 22:14-15). Remember that the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed because of their sins of unrighteous sexuality and inhospitality. You don’t have to be destroyed or broken by pornography. Through the power of the Holy Spirit and the assistance of a trusted fellow believer, you can overcome addiction to pornography. Recommended Reading: |
|
|
