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April 14, 2003

Dear Gabby,

I recently read ninetyandnine.com ’s article “Youth Pastors Speak: Music Rules.”  I was especially interested in this article since I am a youth pastor at a great church, and I have a particular question with regard to Christian rock music.  First though, you’ll need some background.

Most people would say that I hold a conservative viewpoint on standards.  A while ago, I moved to take a position at an inner city church where the pastor is also considered conservative.  The pastor before him, though, was very doctrinally liberal so the kids we are dealing with here have no spiritual foundation at all, except for what I have tried to instill in them over the last year.

I work with around 25 youth, only one of whom has been in church more than a year. The rest are all new converts that we’ve been reaching out to and working with.  Many of them, but not all, have been filled with the Holy Ghost.

One particular young lady works with a young man who plays for a local Christian rock band.  She is supposedly trying to win him, but in that process she got involved in going to a lot of their concerts.  I didn't feel really great about it in my spirit and expressed that to her.  But since she’s 19 and lives on her own, I had no real authority.

In the process of her going to these concerts, she’s invited several other youth to go with her.  Naturally they are intrigued and captivated. With the understanding of their lack of foundation I would rather them abstain completely even if it’s a source of entertainment. The band is very worldly looking and their music is very compromising. (It’s important to remember that these are inner city kids, without parents in the church, and that all they knew before coming to God was punk rock and hard rock, and there is really no substitute for that in an Apostolic format.)

Several of them have asked if we can go to one of these concerts for a youth function, so I can make an informed decision about whether I think it's wrong or not.  To show them I care about what they care about, I agreed that we would go sometime.  But, I have to say that I know in my sprit that I am not going to be in favor of this type of entertainment.

Here’s my question - with the fact that these are new young people, in a new youth group, having just recently come into a new church, do I make the decision to stop their fun and run the risk of possibly losing a few of them or do I go to this concert with them? I have to admit I am concerned that by my going they may perceive it as my supporting the music, when in fact I am just supporting them, as well as monitoring the action.

Can you give me some direction here?

Sincerely,

Concerned in Connecticut

 

Dear Concerned,

Any time music is the subject, I invariably think of my darling brown-eyed daughter, Kristy.  She came to live with me when she was five years old (and I was over 70) and, almost immediately I realized that music was very important to her.  Even at that young age, I’d come into the living room and she’d be sitting at the window seat in the sunshine with her eyes closed, listening to classical orchestras playing beautiful, ancient music on the radio.  Once I showed her how to work my old record player, she listened her way through every one of my scratchy long play records.  It wasn’t long afterwards that I signed her up for piano lessons.  Then, as a teenager, she learned to play both the trumpet and the drums.  Her latest instrument is the bass guitar.

When Kristy was just seven, our church enjoyed a visit from African missionaries Ron and Cindy Knowles.  Traveling with the Knowles was their own seven year-old daughter, April, who spotted Kristy and skipped over to sit by her during the service.  By the end of the evening, the two had become “best friends.”  I knew that they’d exchanged addresses, but was very surprised when, a couple of days later, the first of many letters, written in childish handwriting, arrived from little April Knowles.  That very day my little brown-eyed darling and I took a trip to the store to buy a box of pink stationery and a book of stamps so she could write her own letters back to April.

The two of them wrote so faithfully throughout the next several years that, the next time the Knowles were traveling on deputation in the United States, I wasn’t surprised by their invitation to have 12 year-old Kristy travel with April for a few weeks during the summer.  Kristy was so excited that she packed and repacked, talking a mile a minute about what she’d see and do during the travels through the south.

My first letter from Kristy made me smile:

Dear Mom,

How are you?  I am fine.  I’m having sooooooooo much fun traveling with April.  Mostly we drive all day long and go to churches every night, but April and I are having a lot of fun in between.  Sometimes we eat sandwiches at tables on the side of the road, sometimes we eat at the pastor’s house, and sometimes we even go to restaurants.

We went to Arkansas, Georgia, Mississippi, and Louisiana.  Next we go to Texas.  They sing funny down here in the south.  It’s not like our music at home.  I don’t think I like music that sounds like it comes from out in the country.

XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Love, Kristy

I wrote Kristy back immediately.

Dear Kristy,

I’m glad you’re having fun and seeing a lot of new places.  Don’t judge southern music by the way we sing here in the Midwest.  Just because a style is different doesn’t make it wrong - it’s just different!  Find something about it that you do like.  Besides, if they’re worshipping God, that’s what matters, right?

Say hello to April and her parents.  Make sure you’re brushing your teeth faithfully and being polite to everyone.

Love, Mom

When the Knowles returned Kristy to our home a couple of weeks later, they were all already talking about having her join them again, four years later, when they came back to the U.S. for their next round of deputation.  And she did - this time as an almost grown 16 year-old.  Once again, she wrote letters.

Mother,

California is so amazing!  It’s warm and sunny here all the time!  They have palm trees and beaches and the guys are cute, too!!!  April and I met these two cute guys at the church in San Diego!  They want to write letters to us and we gave them our addresses, so if a letter comes from a San Diego address, DON’T OPEN IT!!!

I tasted my first avocado yesterday.  It’s like green butter, but I liked it!

The music here in California is very different from what we have at home!  It has an interesting Mexican beat and they even sing some songs in Spanish!  It’s definitely not the same as what we have at our home church and I’m not totally comfortable with the style, but it’s kind of cool, I guess!  I should have paid more attention to my Spanish teacher last year!

Say hi to Uncle Stanley and Aunt Shirley!  See you soon!

Love, Kristy

Of course I wrote her back,

Dear Kristy,

Be careful with the boys.  Are they good Christians?  Did they pay attention during the service?

I hope you’re behaving for the Knowles and not causing them trouble.  Don’t take too long in the shower.  There are other people waiting, okay?

When the people sing in Spanish, are they worshipping God?  If so, it doesn’t matter that they sing with a Mexican beat.  Try to find some part of it that you can understand and enjoy.  And even if you don’t understand any of it, at least you know that God understands them and He’s enjoying it!

Say hello to the Knowles.

I love you and miss you.

Mother.

Two years ago, after she’d graduated from college and before her new job started, Kristy went to Africa for three months to work with April and her husband in their own mission field.  Even as a young adult, she still wrote me letters (this time via email).

Dear Mom,

Missions work is incredibly fulfilling.  The people here are so hungry for God and are grateful for everything we do.  And, they really want to do things for me, too.  I’ve had gifts of fruits and vegetables, a hand-woven blanket, and even a live chicken!  April and Anthony told me to just accept all their gifts gracefully, even though I know they can’t afford to give me things.  They’re SO poor, mom.  I’ve never seen anything like this.

The women cook for us each Sunday and the food is… interesting.  I’m following April and Anthony’s example, though, and eating what’s put in front of me - even if I don’t know what it is.

Even though the people are poor and only own one ragged outfit and no shoes at all, these people worship God like nothing I’ve ever seen before!  The music is very different, too - mostly drums and a few tambourine-type instruments, but it’s obvious that they love God and God loves them right back!  How can He not love someone who worships Him so profusely?  They sing and dance with all their might and they continue until Anthony gets up to preach.  Even then, they listen with rapt attention to every word he utters.  He told April and me the other day (with a twinkle in his eye) that he wished April would listen to every word he utters with the same rapt attention - especially when he comes home asking, “What’s for dinner?”

I hope you’re taking care of yourself, Mom.  You work too hard for someone who’s lived almost an entire century.

Hello to all.

Kristy

What does all this mean to you, Bro. Youth Pastor?  My own brown-eyed darling Kristy has learned something that we all need to know.  It doesn’t matter if the music is Midwestern, or country or Latin, or African, or Oriental, or even played with loud guitars and drums, the bottom line is whether or not the people are worshipping God with the songs.  I’m not saying that a 90-something year-old woman enjoys the music the kids play today.  I myself prefer hearing the subtleties of an old upright bass to the new loud electric one that Kristy plays.  But if I had to choose between Kristy’s electric bass guitar and a fiddle, I’d choose Kristy’s loud one.  In other words, music styles are a preference.

I can’t believe that God would save someone in China and then insist that he worship Him only with Southern Gospel music.  And I don’t believe that God would save a person in America and expect her only to worship Him with music that was played in the African style that Kristy experienced.  Kristy didn’t understand the different musical styles she encountered.  But she did understand that the people making the music were worshipping God with their whole heart.  That’s what matters to God.  The worship thing.  The rest is just about styles and preferences.

If I lived near you, I’d invite myself along with your youth group on their trip to hear this musical group play.  While I’m certain I wouldn’t understand their musical style, I would understand if they were sincerely singing and playing to worship Almighty God - the creator of music.

Sincerely Sincere,

Gabby

 

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© 2003, ninetyandnine.com

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Gabrigail VanBurden has been offering advice for longer than most of you have been alive. Email your practical Apostolic life questions to Gabby@ninetyandnine.com and be prepared for some straight answers!


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