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Mom and Daughter: A Mother's
Day Exclusive With about 80 percent of ninetyandnine.com readers being between the ages of 18 and 40 and with more than 60 percent of our readership being female, there’s little doubt we have a good handful of mothers - new and veteran - among our readership. As a special Mother’s Day feature in the form of an interview, we present some heartfelt words of encouragement, wisdom, and insight to our veteran, new, and future moms. Guys, you’re not excluded. Feel free to be a fly on the wall for this mother and daughter rap session. Sis. Debra Williams is a leading lady in the United Pentecostal movement. Her husband pastors The Pentecostals of Apopka, Florida and both have been influential in countless lives as well as their church organization. They celebrated their 25th pastoral anniversary last month with joy, and a bit of sadness with the news their 22-year-old daughter is leaving the nest. Brooke Williams, 22, graduated this past December with a degree in English from the University of Central Florida. Just days after, she became engaged to youth pastor Paul Pamer of the Apostolic Church of Barberton, Ohio. In two months, she’ll leave sunny Florida to take her new ministry post in Ohio. Sis. Williams and Brooke share some thoughts about life, love, and ministry during this time of transition. 90&9: Sis. Williams, how do you feel about Brooke becoming a youth pastor’s wife? How has growing up in this church and your house prepared her for that? Sis. Williams: Naturally, I am ecstatic as a mother at Brooke’s choice of a life partner. Paul is such a quality person; which brings me to my next answer—I can see how growing up in our family and church has resulted in Brooke acquiring skills and abilities that make her well suited to be a youth pastor’s wife. However, my primary goal as a mother was not to prepare Brooke for the ministry, but for life. My desire for Brooke has been that she develop herself as a whole person; spirit, mind, and body and that her inner life would give her direction and confidence to pursue and achieve life’s goals. Thankfully, I’m seeing that happen. 90&9: Brooke, what apprehensions do you feel and what are you looking forward to as you move to this new position and start this new life? Brooke: In the last several months I have come to realize that just because change is bringing you something wonderful doesn’t mean that it is easy. James Baldwin is credited with saying that “most of us are about as eager to be changed as we were to be born, and go through our changes in a similar state of shock.” At this moment in my life, on the brink of marriage and a departure from my family and home church, I feel like a trapeze artist preparing to perform without a net. I am afraid of not seeing the faces on Sunday that I have seen all my life. I am afraid of missing the mundane events that occur everyday in the life of my 11-year-old sister. I am afraid that I don’t know enough. Yet, if I ponder all the changes long enough, my heart swells with the anticipation of the journey. There will be new challenges, new memories, and the opportunity to stand on the foundation my past and present have provided. Above all, I anticipate the privilege of loving and being loved by a whole new world of people. 90&9: Sis. Williams, as a very young pastor’s wife 25 years ago, what apprehensions did you have about taking this church? Overall, how would you describe the experience and journey that it’s been? Sis. Williams: It was no doubt a blessing, but looking back, at 24 years of age I don’t think one can fully comprehend the total weight and responsibility to a congregation that you accept when you enter into pastoral ministry. I was filled with a sense of desire and adventure, genuinely willing to do whatever to get the job done. Thankfully, I have been a part of a loving church family that has allowed me to both grow and develop as a person and hopefully that has overflowed into my role as a pastor’s wife. 90&9: In a patriarchal church culture, how have you, as a woman, found ways to impact the kingdom of God and this local church? What advice to you give women on how to develop and view their own ministries? Sis. Williams: Not withstanding your reference to a patriarchal church culture, I do believe that women have impacted and continue to impact the kingdom of God. How someone is called or chosen is unique to the individual. Someone I greatly admire once said, “God never overlooks a prepared vessel.” Ministry to me is not about a title or gender, it’s about who I am everyday. Opportunity is all around us, everywhere. It’s really up to me to seize it. If we, as women of God, in spite of any obstacles we may face, will earnestly seek to develop ourselves in the context of who “He” is, believe me, our gifts will make room for themselves. In all honesty, I will admit it has been frustrating because of the way some have chosen to view the role of women, but I don’t think that opinion is confined to the church. Society today would like us to believe we are getting a raw deal, when in truth, Jesus is an equal opportunity employer. Let’s remember Colossians 3:23, “Whatsoever ye do, do it heartily as to the Lord and not unto men, for ye serve the Lord Jesus Christ.” It’s not about us. It’s about Him. 90&9: Sis. Williams and Brooke, for the second consecutive year, you’re directing Miracle on Azusa Street, which the church is putting on over the course of the next two weekends. Describe the unique partnership between you, Brooke and a large part of the church family, which resulted in many receiving the Holy Ghost last year. Sis. Williams: Wow! This is any mother’s dream! Brooke making notes for me! Brooke finishing my sentences! Brooke pointing out my mistakes! Seriously, all jokes aside, Brooke has given her talent, time, and trust, which have been tremendous gifts to me. I know sometimes working with family can be difficult, but I think that we see what each of us bring to this production and that we have tremendous respect for one another. In fact, I can’t imagine doing this without her. Brooke: All I have done in working with [my mother] on Azusa is attempt to provide the stabilizing force she has provided for me all my life. In watching her grace with people and her burden for lost souls, I am reminded of the kind of woman I want to be. With so many other wonderful people from our church family I grabbed a hold of the vision and took a piece of the burden as my own. We have laughed, cried, feared, hoped, and rejoiced and we have done it together. 90&9: Sis. Williams, what do you feel is your greatest ministry? Sis. Williams: Understanding that we are all works in progress, I do strongly feel that for me investing in my children, Brooke and Rory, in such a way that they have the tools to live productive, valuable lives will definitely not only be my greatest accomplishment in life, but my greatest joy. It has been said that true success can be measured by successful relationships. Although I certainly don’t have it all figured out, I know that life is about choices, and, with the support of my husband, I’ve prayerfully been afforded the right to make those choices in the best interest of our family. 90&9: Brooke, what advice would you give young twenty-something women—about life, education, love, and ministry? Brooke: I think as young women we spend a lot of time preparing for the life we would like to live instead of stepping out and living it. We have to learn to be content with who we are and where we are in life. We need to accept the season of life that God has placed us in and trust that when it is time for us to move forward, God will give us a nudge. Concerning education, I believe that in the context of one’s resources and gifts we have a responsibility, both spiritually and naturally, to bring something to the table, to contribute to our community, our family, and the kingdom of God. Insomuch as education aids in accomplishing these things, I believe it should be pursued. I have yet to figure out love, let alone how to comment on it intelligently. I don’t think that falling in love and finding the one you want to share your life with is God’s twisted way of toying with the entire female gender. God wants us to have those experiences although He often seems to be working on a different calendar. In 1999, my family and the Pamer family went on vacation together over the Christmas holiday. It was not our first joint family-get away. Oddly enough, I had known Paul since I was 15, but I really met him that first day of our family vacation when everyone went their separate ways and the two of us ended up in a coffee shop drinking hot chocolate. Nothing out of the ordinary happened, we walked in the streets talking and laughing. When I walked into my hotel room that evening I told my mother that he had every quality that I was looking to find in “the man of my dreams,” and that it was really too bad that we would never date. In the three years that took us from friendship to love, I went to school, I did everything at church that anyone would let me do, I cultivated other friendships, and strengthened my personal relationship with God. Even though I was, in a sense, waiting for a big piece of life’s puzzle to be put into place, I trusted God to show me the full picture when he knew I was ready. Being loved by the one person who has the ability to light up my soul with a simple smile has only been enriched by the knowledge that it has all come to me at the right time. Everyone has a ministry. I remember my father praising from the pulpit a woman in our church family who wrote letters every week to those who were in the hospital or disabled and no longer capable of coming to church. He would talk about the wonderful contribution that she made and how she was ministering to those who were unable to join us for weekly worship. To many, her act of letter writing probably seemed small, but those who were recipients of her kindness will never forget her. Explore the gifts that God has given you and put them to work in advancing the kingdom of God.
ninetyandnine.com © 2003, Cara Baker --------- Cara Baker is the associate editor of ninetyandnine.com. |
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