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Rethinking Outreach Motives: “...And he that winneth souls is wise” (Proverbs 11:30). I should be the poster child for the un-wise soulwinner. . . or the un-wise wanna-be-soulwinner, I should say. I don't know about the wise thing to do, but I seem to have a knack for the unwise-way to lose friends and alienate people, as a recent writer put it. Can I tell on myself for a second? A friend from elementary school, whom we'll call “Tiffany” for the sake of anonymity, recently contacted me. Tiffany was an old family friend I hadn't seen in years, though we'd been extremely close in elementary school. She had explained to me the beauty of high-top tennis shoes and Keds, and I had shared with her the splendor of softball and chalk on sidewalks. I'm telling you, we were close. Then time happened. I moved, life went on, and for years we traveled separate life paths without contact. Then, a few months ago, Tiffany ran across my name and e-mail address on a flyer for a church event and emailed me out of the blue. Since she mentioned church and all, I immediately went into religious-zealot-with-a-vengeance mode and attacked with every evangelistic angle I could imagine and then some. While Tiffany shared the news in her life over the last ten or so years—marriage, two new homes, and a series of career developments—I spouted out an endless number of services for her to attend. To Tiffany's credit, she did come a few times. On the other end, she invited me countless times to meet her for lunch, go to the mall, and come over to meet her husband and see her home, but I never managed to swing any of that. It must have looked awful, like I was too busy, apathetic, and insensitive to be a friend anywhere but within the church doors. Don't get me wrong. I was never rude to her. Yet neither was I the ambassador of Christ I should have been. Ambassadors are always ambassadors, 24-7. Ignoring someone from a neighboring country with whom you're trying to develop positive relations is not wise. Maybe it's easy to lose sight of the true goal in soul-winning. I mean well—or do I? This whole little episode has made me question my motives. Is the activity we understand as soul-winning truly our genuine attempts to share the love of Christ with the unreached, or is it just a game? Tiffany shows up at church (home team scores a run). Tiffany declines Bible study (double play to end the inning; visiting team takes the lead). Do I love souls or statistics? Finally, realization that I might have been going about witnessing the wrong way took root, and now I realize that Tiffany wasn't receiving sincere friendship from me. I didn't really care about her, just “winning” her. My only communication attempts were endless invitations to attend church or my constant begging for a Bible study. Obviously those are worthwhile and noble pursuits, but I should have been a friend in the process. Instead, Tiffany had become an anonymous prospect I had to draft (first round pick? second rounder?) and add to the home team. Somehow my focus had been derailed, and my motives for this soul-winning game were misguided. Instead of trying to reach out for her because I loved her and wanted her to come closer to the God I love, I was obsessed with “winning” her for the sake of saying I was doing my part. I've since asked God to purify my motives, give me true Christian compassion, and help me love as He loves. So I'm meeting Tiffany for lunch next week. While I'd love to go barging in with a Bible study chart tucked under my arm, I'm going to try a novel approach—becoming her friend (again). A very subversive operation, I know, but I might just convince her I care and let the love and compassion of the Lord touch her life through my love.
ninetyandnine.com © 2003, Lee Ann Alexander --------- Lee Ann Alexander recently received her Masters in English. She now explores the non-existent job market in South Louisiana while catering to an obsessive fishing habit. |
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