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Print I hated high school. I didn’t mind the schoolwork; it was the social aspect that was the most challenging. I felt like I didn’t fit in. I was friends with a lot of different people, but not really close to anybody. One day I’d have lunch with cheerleaders; the next day I’d eat with the Goth alternative kids. I had a crush my sophomore year on a junior varsity football player guy named Chad. And although we had the same class together all semester, he only spoke to me one time. It was picture day and I had rolled my hair really tight, sprayed it really hard and really high and wore a church dress. He walked by my desk, stopped and said, ‘Hey, are you new here?’ Yeah, needless to say high school didn’t hold much appeal for me. But that was also the time when pressures started to mount about the future of my life. Everywhere I turned someone was asking me if I was going to college, which one I would go to, what I would major in, what I wanted to do with my life, how many kids I would have—well, that question came later, but the point is I felt like I had one year to decide the course of the rest of my life and no clue how to figure out if the choices I was making were in the will of God. My dream vocation was to be a Christian music album reviewer. (Quit laughing.) I loved Christian music. I was the biggest Christian music dork on the planet. I read CCM like it was the holy writ every month it arrived in my mailbox. The day my byline would appear in CCM was the day I would have arrived. Made it to the big-time. By the time I was a senior in college, I had worked and/or freelanced for a host of Christian music magazines, including CCM—and had already grown tired of it. I realized I had set my life goal at a place far too attainable. This was a realization that I would encounter several times in the coming years—things that I desired or envisioned for my life were often much lower, much more insignificant than the things God had envisioned and desired for me. Thankfully, He always proved me wrong. In spite of wishing and hoping and praying for things that God never intended for me, He allowed me to grow past my fickle feelings and graciously granted me the better things He had in store for me all along. What is your calling? “I don’t know what God’s calling me to do,” he confessed, and asked me to pray about what it might be. “Why?” I asked. “I already know what Jesus wants you to do!” “You do?” he gasped with ill-concealed excitement. “So, what is it? What’s my call?” I paused, enjoying the suspense. Drums rolled. String quartets tuned up. My friend held his breath … “Your call,” I said slowly, “is to be a worship leader …” He looked pleased, really pleased, so I continued: “… but not necessarily with a guitar in your hand.” “Okayyy,” he murmured. “Your call is to befriend that funny little lady at the end of your street …” He seemed less pleased with this prospect. “Your call is to feed the hungry and to spend yourself on behalf of the poor …” By now he was looking distinctly troubled. “… and to offer hospitality to strangers who just turn up in town needing a place to crash.” “And it’s to fast.” “And it’s to pray so long and hard that you run out of words and tears.” “Your call,” I continued, “is to preach the good news of Jesus to every person who will listen and a few who won’t. Your call is to go somewhere, anywhere, wherever, whenever, for Jesus, and never stop. Your call is to love people no one else loves and to forgive them when they treat you like dirt—or worse. Do your job to the very best of your ability without grumbling about your boss or whining about your colleagues. Your call is to pray for the sick, and when they are healed, to dance all night. And when they aren’t, to weep with them and love them even more.” I glanced across at him and was relieved to see that his expression was beginning to mellow. “Your call is to honor your parents, pray for your leaders, study the Scriptures, and attend plenty of parties. Be a peacemaker in every situation: when the fight breaks out on the bus home late at night and when the gossip starts to circulate at church. Your call is to pick up litter in the street when no one else is looking, to wipe the toilet seat, to pull the gum off from under the desk. It’s to get to meetings early to put out the chairs.” By now he was smiling. “Your call is to make disciples and to teach them to obey everything Jesus commanded. And don’t forget to minister grace to them when they sin. Which they will. Your mission is to baptize and to cast out evil spirits. Your call is to bind up broken hearts wherever you find them, and you will find them wherever you look. It’s to visit prisons. And hospitals. And to listen more than you talk and to listen with your eyes as well as your ears.” “It’s to do the chores again and again without grumbling. It’s to buy ethical coffee and to recycle your bottles. And while you’re at it, don’t forget to leave anonymous gifts on people’s doorsteps.” By now we were both laughing, and I was finally running out of steam: “And when you’ve done all that,” I grinned, jabbing him in the ribs at each syllable, “come back and see me, and we can spend a little time praying about phase two!” --------- That story reminds me of the rich young ruler who comes to Jesus and asks what he has to do to be saved. Jesus tells him to sell all he has, give it to the poor, then follow Jesus. That’s not what this guy wanted to hear. We often have trouble obeying God because we think His desire for us is to be happy and to have the desires of our hearts. So if anything is contrary to that, like God asks us to come out of our comfort zone to witness to people, or wear modest clothes or be disciplined in prayer, our flesh revolts. Or if we become sick, a boyfriend breaks our hearts, a loved one dies, we don’t get the scholarship we needed, then we pray and pray for God to take that situation away, to make it better. And that’s natural. But the will of God isn’t for us to be happy; it’s for us to be holy, as my pastor says. The will of God is not for us to be pleased or placated; it’s for us to become better people. So when you’re asked to do things you don’t want to do, or when hard times come, it doesn’t mean that you’re being punished or that you’ve fallen out of the will of God. It just means that we live in a fallen world full of sin and that God uses bad situations to draw us closer to Him, and He teaches us discipline to keep our flesh from taking over our spirit. His goal is to make us more like Him. The desires of your heart We’ve all heard the scripture, Psalm 37:4: “Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.” I’ve often heard that if you have a deep desire for something, then God has placed that desire in your heart. And sometimes, that’s the case. Sometimes, it’s not. When I was pining over whether I would ever get married and if God was for some unforeseen reason sentencing me to a life of isolation and insignificance, people would always tell me that when it’s my time, God would bring someone to me. That I didn’t have to chase after a guy, make him like me, call him and email him and scare him away. That if I was patient and focused on my relationship with the Lord, that He would prepare me and bring someone in my life. I didn’t believe it until it happened to me. I had just moved to Orlando to take the job at Relevant. I knew no one in the city, other than a friend of a friend whose father pastored in the city. I visited the church and loved it and started attending. Just three months later, Jeff visited the church and gave his life to the Lord. We were introduced and the rest is our sappy, romantic history. Sometimes I stop to think about what my life would have been like when I desired a certain job or wanted to marry a certain guy. I now stop and ask, “What was I thinking???” Thank God He doesn’t let me screw up my own life. And that’s what I came to learn after many struggles with trying to find out God’s will for my life. I learned that God won’t let me stray down a wrong path without ten thousand warning signs. If I choose something that’s out of God’s will, I will know it. And so will you. God’s not ready to strike you down the moment you make a wrong choice or decision. My pastor says He’s not looking for a reason to send you to hell; He’s looking for an excuse to save you. He loves you. The thing He desires most is to be in relationship with you. That’s why the Scripture says delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Because if you’re pursuing God, you’ll desire the things He desires. And if there happens to be some desires that aren’t right for your life, they’ll pass. They won’t last forever. And when they’re gone, God will place the right thing in your life and you’ll realize it’s everything you didn’t know you always wanted. Crunch time But if you feel like you’re still in the same place you started, wondering who to date, where to go to school and what to do with your life, then the questions and situations you’re facing have less to do with what is God’s will for your life and more to do with learning to make good decisions. God’s will is for you to make godly, wise decisions. If you’re wondering even what direction you think your life should go, there are some tools available to help you figure out what your passions are, like the Myers-Briggs personality assessments online. Once you know what you think you want to do, you still want to feel like it’s “God’s will” before you pursue it. There are some basic principles that are universally accepted within the Church—but they’re not definitive. They are suggestions based off a lot of people’s experiences. And you can apply these to any decision or direction you’re facing: 1. Seek God for guidance through consistent prayer. (I’m more inconsistent than I am consistent in prayer, but I do myself a big favor when I am consistent because I feel closer to God and spend less time feeling guilty and more time investing myself into the needs of others around me instead of always being focused on my own problems.) 2. Look to the scriptures for direction. (Many answers are in the Bible as clear as day. If you’re wondering if it’s God’s will if you should date a guy who isn’t a Christian—don’t wonder. The Bible makes that very clear. If you’re wondering if it’s okay to have sex before marriage—the Bible is clear on that, too. There are many issues the Bible deals with that are black and white—don’t let society tell you otherwise. Sometimes you can arbitrarily open up the Bible and pull out something good—but get a study Bible where you can look up the topic you’re dealing with.) 3. Seek the advice of believers. (In every major decision I’ve made in my life, I’ve had someone - a parent or a mentor, a pastor or wise friend - give me valued advice and confirmation of my own decision.) 4. Feel an inner peace. (This is the prevailing advice, but I have to admit sometimes I’ve had to make a decision without this mysterious feeling. But almost always, there has been something that has confirmed my decision was the right one. For instance, I found out that the company of one job I turned down folded only months later. But again, this isn’t a hard and fast rule.) The point is it’s okay to feel like you don’t have all the answers right now. Just make wise choices and good decisions on a day-to-day basis. God will guide you through the big stuff. And you can be happy and have a good life. It’s actually possible. But when bad times come and you’re still serving Him, remember God wants to use those to draw you closer to Him—not to punish you for being out of His will.
ninetyandnine.com © 2004, Cara Davis --------- Cara Davis is weathering one hurricane after another in the otherwise sunny state of Florida. |
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