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Print Dear Readers, Dear Gabby, I recently went to my uncle’s funeral. He and his family belong to a Pentecostal church. I always remember the women in his family (my aunt and cousin) wearing long dresses, no make-up, and minimal jewelry. They also never cut their hair! Does God really care if your hair is long or if you wear pants? Does having long hair make you a good person? I just don’t see the relevance of it. I believe that who you are inside and how you treat others is what’s important to God. Having long hair or wearing pants doesn’t harm anyone. Why would God disapprove? I’ve wondered about this for many years. Thanks for the answer.
Dear Gabby, I am a rather recent convert to the Church. My parents are not in the church, so doctrine is neither believed nor practiced in our home. It makes it very difficult for me to live for God. At a recent church service, my pastor’s sermon was about modesty, living for God, and holiness. It was very convicting for me. Up until then, I wore pants, even though I’m female. My parents do not understand about convictions. How do I explain to them that I wish to wear skirts now, without causing a fight? They will question why I want to, and simply saying, “It’s my choice” won’t get me far. Seeking Answers in Seattle
Dear Wondering and Seeking, My dear Harry’s mother was the world’s best cook. She’s been gone for years, but, to this day, I’ve never eaten food that was as good as hers. Everything she made was fresh and flavorful. The hot foods were piping hot and the cold foods were crisp and cold. For some reason, and I couldn’t figure out why, the cooking at her house tasted much better than the same recipe served at my house. So, one evening, while helping her with her dishes, I asked her about it. “Mother VanBurden, your potato soup tonight was so thick and creamy. And the salad! It was much better than any I’ve ever eaten at my house. And, how is it that the roast beef was so tender and flavorful? And the pie, yum…” “Gabby, honey,” she interrupted me, “you don’t have to compliment me on the meal. I know you love me.” “No, no! I mean it!” I answered. “I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, but everything I prepare seems to be missing some unknown ingredient that makes it excellent like yours instead of just tolerable like mine.” So I invited her to my house to watch me prepare a meal. I wanted her to tell me how to excel in cooking the food I was preparing for her son and my husband (whom we both loved). A couple of weeks later, she was seated at my kitchen table with a cup of tea, protesting that she could help me, while I was insisting that she just watch and then critique my preparation. So, with my recipes on the counter beside me, I began. Now you must understand, I’ve never been a perfectionist. I’m one of those people who figures that recipe directions are just suggestions. But that day, I found out that potatoes really did all need to be sliced to the same thickness, if they were going to get done at the same time. (Imagine eating potatoes that were all done, instead of only the medium-sized pieces!) And I discovered that fresh ground black pepper really does taste better than ground pepper out of a jar. I learned that most vegetables were more flavorful if they were cooked in a small amount of water instead of a lot—and a dash of sugar somehow brings out the flavor even more! My wonderful mother-in-law taught me that, when making a roast, the way to make it taste the best was to brown it very well before putting it in the oven, and slicing an onion and an apple on top of the meat made it even better. Needless to say, by the time we were preparing the flaky crust for the peach pie (which should be mixed using very cold water), Mother VanBurden was standing right by me, helping me to roll it out to perfection. I don’t believe she ever drank her cup of tea. What I learned that day (and during many future lessons over the years) was that it’s the small, seemingly insignificant things that make the difference between “satisfactory” and “excellent.” Living for God is the same, I’ve learned. Many, many people treat their relationship with God the same way I used to cook. I’d think, “Is it really necessary to wait for the water to boil or can I just put the dried noodles into the cold water and heat them up together?” Then, when I’d have mush to serve to Harry instead of nicely-shaped noodles, I’d get annoyed and confused. Instead of Christians thinking “Is it really necessary?” we should be thinking, “How can I present the very best of myself to God?” The Bible does contain principles for living, including how we dress and act. It speaks to the length of both men and women’s hair and the wearing of clothing specifically made for our own gender. So you ask, can you get by without following those principles? Is it absolutely necessary to wear and dress and act the way the Bible dictates? Those are the wrong questions! Of course noodles will cook from cold water, but they aren’t worth serving to anyone you love. Of course you can make pie dough from warm water, instead of cold, but it’ll be tough instead of flaky. Sure you can eat roast beef that hasn’t been browned well, but will it be delicious? Not likely. Those of us who want to serve the very best of ourselves to our Creator make conscious decisions to be more than “good enough.” We choose to be “excellent.” That’s why we act and dress the way we do. It’s not about rules, about dos and don’ts. It’s about love of God and the desire to give Him our finest. And once you get used to excellence, nothing else is good enough. Sincerely Sincere,
ninetyandnine.com
© 2004, ninetyandnine.com
---------- Gabrigail VanBurden has been offering advice for longer than most of you have been alive. Email your practical Apostolic life questions to Gabby@ninetyandnine.com and be prepared for some straight answers!
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