Send To Printer
April 18, 2005

Dear Gabby,

I am a female with addictions that I just can't seem to shake. Actually there are two. I have battled eating disorders and viewing perverse material.

I want to quit because I don't want these things to get completely out of control. Maybe it would help to confide in someone, but I am afraid and I don’t know how to choose the right person.

I need prayer. Is there any advice you can give?

Addicted in Arkansas

Dear Ms. Arkansas,

My dear Harry almost broke his back one time, and I about broke my sides from laughing at him so hard. I know that sounds terrible, but if you’ll let me tell it from my point of view, maybe you can see why I thought it was so funny.

You see, my dear handsome Harry was the most graceful and poised man you’d ever like to see. Have you ever watched panthers move when you’ve been to the zoo? Harry was like that – a lot of rippling muscle and confidence. He also dressed to the nines, always at the height of fashion, and it didn’t look pretentious on him. He probably dressed like that to balance out my own disorderly look. My hair has always been unruly, and no matter how many times I iron my dress, it still mysteriously collects wrinkles somehow. And, instead of being tilted rakishly, my hat always just looks askew.

So, when Harry and I were standing at our door, saying farewell to our friends Julietta and Jean Paul LeFleur after a lovely dinner at our home, I remember thinking about how gorgeous Harry was, and, boy, did he smell delicious, too!

We waved until they had driven away and then, Harry stepped back gracefully to shut the door. Except his move didn’t end up being graceful at all! I could see the horrified realization on his face as soon as his foot landed on a marble left from his play with one of the orphanage kids who’d lunched at our house that day.

When Harry’s foot came down on the marble, his other foot kicked straight up in the air, catching the rag rug there by the doorway and flinging it up as well. His hands flailed out to each side and down he went, with a bang, bumping one elbow on the whatnot table by the door and sweeping off the vase into a puddle of roses and broken glass by his head. And then, the part that still makes me giggle is when I picture the rag rug landing right on top of his head!

“Oh, my goodness,” I said, between giggles, “are you okay?”

“Owwww…” was all he said, as he tried to figure out how to get the dusty rug off his head. The “ow” was followed by a gigantic sneeze, a whimper, and two or three additional giggles escaping from me. By the time he had collected himself, regained his footing, and we’d taken inventory, we realized that Harry was going to have a couple of hefty bruises (in places I shall not mention here), a small cut on his shoulder from the broken vase, a lot of wet dust on his hair and clothes, and a hugely embarrassed ego. And while I restored our doorway into its previous arrangement, Harry located the offending marble and limped to the trash bin to discard of it.

Harry’s funny fall reminds me of the unfunny situation you’ve found yourself in, Ms. Arkansas. When you leave seemingly small objects lying around your heart and mind, you’re in danger of slipping on them and creating a major collapse that could injure more than just a few small parts of you.

It’s time to remove those things from your life. And you should do it now. How, you ask? You’re right. It would help to confide in someone and it’s always possible to seek professional help, but since what you’re dealing with is related to sin, I believe it makes more sense to seek a spiritual answer to your addictions.

Both of these addictions are sins done in secret. That doesn’t mean God can’t see them, but it means people around you may not see them. That’s why it’s imperative that you bring the sins out into the open.

You probably know an older woman whose godly life you admire. She’s the one you should make your trusted confidant, not a friend who’s near your age. That woman will be able to see the situation from a more mature perspective, give you spiritual advice and hold you accountable to stop the sin. I’d ask her to lunch and tell her you’d like to get her advice on a situation you’re dealing with.

After lunch, I’d confess to her the two sins and request her help in overcoming them. After asking for her prayers, you should invite her to frequently contact you to inquire whether you’ve fallen back into the sins or not. And you need to promise her, and God, too, that you’ll be absolutely honest with her. Knowing she’s going to ask will help you to think twice when you’re tempted to step back into the sins.

The greatest power in both of those sins is related to their secrecy. Hidden sin brought into the open loses its power. Remember, Harry wouldn’t have fallen on the marble if he’d known it was there. And if I’d known it was there, I would have removed it for him – even though I would have missed the only time I ever saw him looking less than graceful.

Sincerely Sincere,

Gabby

ninetyandnine.com

© 2005, ninetyandnine.com

----------

Gabrigail VanBurden has been offering advice for longer than most of you have been alive. Email your practical Apostolic life questions to Gabby@ninetyandnine.com and be prepared for some straight answers!