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Print How many conversations have I had with nice young ladies who are still single and want to find that special someone? How sad it is for me to observe that there is almost always some glaring physical/visual deficiency with which these young ladies are saddled? One was grossly overweight, one had a head full of prematurely gray hair, one had a faint mustache, one dressed like a nerd, or had stringy hair, or was a boring plain Jane. These lovely ladies were often vibrant Christians, sweeter than sweet, educated to the max, and valued at their jobsite. They weren’t single because they lacked inner beauty, they were single because they lacked transient, shallow, doesn’t-matter-in-the-long-run, outer beauty. I spent some time being so sad for these girls, being mad at all those shallow guys out there that wouldn’t get to know these awesome girls because they weren’t up to some Hollywood standard. My anger didn’t help my buddies, though, so I shelved it and tried to think how I could help them.
Ruining One Friendship At
A Time Reasoning that if I could help affect a change in a friend’s life, even if I lost their friendship, it would still be worth it to tell them how I felt, I took a chance. My friend was an elegant, slender lady in her late twenties. She was a gifted musician at our church and was successful in the corporate world. She had beautifully coiffed hair, but it was entirely silver. She just looked old. I knew she came from a conservative traditional family where dying your hair was frowned upon. One night I decided to take the plunge and told her I thought she should dye her hair back to its original brunette color. I did not want to step on anybody’s toes, but I could tell she was offended. We barely got through the rest of the evening and never fully recovered our friendship. Then one night when I saw her at church playing the organ, her hair was brown! I kid you not, I heard a few months later that the guy she was interested in had proposed and not long after they were married! Some time later another friend was pretty sure she wanted to have gastric bypass surgery since her many dieting attempts had failed to help her shed the weight she was carrying. She was getting mixed reactions from people around her, but I encouraged her along these lines. She had the surgery and the weight melted off. One of those shallow guys started taking her out and before long they were engaged and then married.
But Is It In The Bible? Let me instead draw your attention to the book of Song of Solomon, where the maiden makes every attempt to make herself physically appealing for her bridegroom. (Of course, I am not advocating that anyone abandon true biblical convictions about modesty or violate local pastoral authority.)
It’s For Your Own Good! Ask someone you trust what you need to do and be willing to do it. Believe you me, they love you and have probably been dying to tell you but have been too scared for fear of hurting you. Do you need a new hairdo? Get one. Is your style hopelessly out of date? Ask someone whose style you like to take you shopping, and then buy what she tells you to buy. You don’t have to be model thin to attract most guys, but if you are unhealthily overweight, do whatever you need to do to deal with these issues. I am careful to say this, but . . . do not assume it is the Lord’s will for you to remain single when that is not necessarily the case. You might well find the man of your dreams. Just as you want him to put his best foot forward to win you, so you should do your all to be the beautiful girl you can be.
ninetyandnine.com © 2005, Ellie Neumann --------- Ellie Neumann married the man of her dreams and now has three perfect children. All of them are eschewing the wiles of American culture to leave for a one year AIM assignment in Latvia. After they win all their neighbors to the Lord, she plans to hunt down cool European clothes for General Conference next year. |
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