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Print July 25, 2005 Today my little boy said, “Mommy, I need to talk to you…in my room.” So we went into his room and closed the door. He then said, “Mommy, I don’t like you carrying anyone else.” (We had invited a little neighbor girl to church on Sunday and she was tired and asked me to carry her.) So, I said, “Sweetie, did it make you feel like I loved her more?” And he shook his head yes. I then explained that there was no one who could ever take his place in my affections—period! After that conversation, I understand how constant God’s love is for His children. We must never allow ourselves to think that God loves someone more when He is taking care of them in special ways—He just knows they need it right then.
Re: “Mom’s Working List, Female Factor, Songwriter in Nashville” Sorry Ellie, but I agree with most of your critics. The most disturbing sentence you penned was, “One of these shallow guys started taking her out and before long they were engaged to be married.” Every girl’s dream—sharing her life with a shallow guy! In my opinion, confidence is the greatest attraction factor. I agree, we should smile, clean our teeth, find out what our weight should be for our heights, then stay there. Do this for yourself, not someone else. Be kind to yourself and a great person will come along. Life can hurt, don’t sell yourself short and settle for less. Loved, Mom’s Working List. I have a 17 year-old. So far, the adolescent phase has been a time of fun. I credit this to open, honest communication. Discuss things when they least expect it. For example, while frying eggs together. Drop your punch line, make sure their paying attention—gauge their reaction. Then ask if they want their eggs over-easy or scrambled. End of conversation. Kids listen to what you say. Approach them in a non-threatening manner or they will turn you off instantly. I was proud to read, Apostolic Songwriter. I think I’ve met Twila at Nashville UPC. This lady is gracious and multi-talented. I believe in dancing as David in the Book of Psalms. Nothing is so sweet as worshipping to a song that I only have to lift our hands heavenward. The lyrics so precious that tears stream down my face. The presence of God sweeps into our heart like a gentle rain. Strength replaces my fears. I will be looking for your name on all of my music from now own. Glad we can claim you as ours Twila. Gwen Spell, Louisiana
Re: “Gabby’s 100th” Gabby is so special. Her words always touch my heart, and inspire me. I only hope to gain and live in wisdom as she has. Sarah Holland, Michigan
Re: “The Female Attraction Factor” I think a lot of people missed the point of this article. I don’t think that the author was trying to say that the only way for us to find a man is to get all dolled up, I believe that she was simply saying that if we let ourselves go then we should not act surprised when no one is interested in us. If we do not take the time or make the effort to groom ourselves, then we lessen our chances of being noticed. We ladies would all be lying if we said that physical attraction is not at all important to us and we must realize that it works both ways, we must make ourselves as presentable as possible in the same way that we want someone to make that special effort for us. Why is everyone so up in arms about that?
Re: “Gabby’s life lesson” That’s one of the most beautiful things that I have ever read. Isn’t Gabby great? I wish I knew her for real. Amanda Fearon, England
Re: “Why I Use the King James Version Bible” I can’t agree more with what Mr. Huffman said—it’s so important, the errors in other translations are so bad, and so blatant. It’s so wrong to translate God’s word so slackly. What about the New King James version? Thank you. Margaret Masson, France
Re: “The Attraction Factor (Female Version)” Bravo to Ellie Neumann for addressing this sensitive subject! From reading the Letters column I can see she raised some strong feelings in people, especially women. I wonder if some women actually understand how guys are wired? Just because we are interested in the physical does not mean we are shallow. Of course attraction goes beyond the physical, but the physical is certainly part of it. Not every woman has to have “movie star” looks and figures, as a man’s “attraction factor” is a lot wider (no pun intended) than that. I also think a woman has a right to expect her future hubby won’t blimp out like a lot of men seem to do. Attraction works both ways, but it does seem to be more important to the guy. In the book His Needs/Her Needs by Willard Harley a majority of men who were surveyed ranked it as number three on their top five needs in their marriage. I have been married almost 17 years and I was, and still am interested in how my wife looks physically. Our relationship is not shallow and certainly goes way beyond physical attraction however the physical component is still important. And for those of you who are wondering, yes, I would love her if something happened to her physical appearance. I’m not that shallow! Both of us have gone through physical changes as we have aged and raised children, and neither of us looks as we did when we were first married, but we are still physically attracted to one another. I personally see nothing wrong with a woman dyeing her hair (her natural color, not some wild pink or green color) if that’s what she wants to do. I think that decision is up to her, and one would have a hard time making a scriptural case against dyeing one’s hair. I have met enough women who have all the “exterior” standards in order but are lacking on the “meek and quiet spirit” portion of their femininity Do we tell women who have chemotherapy not to use a wig when all their hair falls out? Do we tell older women who have thin hair they can’t wear a wig to make themselves feel/look more like a woman? Sure there are guys who place an over emphasis on physical attraction and fail to take into consideration other areas of a woman’s gifts ands personality. We can find people lacking balance almost anywhere. However, the importance a man places on physical attraction is something that is “hard-wired” into him. That’s how God made us! Thank you Ellie for addressing an issue you were sure to get negative feedback on. It’s the mark of a brave writer! Stephen J. Cousino, Vermont
Re: “My Story” Thank you for writing your testimony. My best friend is far from God’s perfect plan for his life but is beginning the trek back. I got on the website today just for encouragement—something to let me know that my prayers aren’t in vain. Again, thanks. Emily Lawson, Indiana
Re: “The Attraction Factor (Female Version)” I am sitting here with my mouth agape! I’m just flabbergasted that the author of this article really thinks that in order for someone to find a husband they must lose weight and dye their hair!?! Wow. To me, that is a very shallow perspective! I know some very ‘beautiful’ people on the outside and they have a nasty attitude on the inside. And there are some other people I know who are very average looking on the outside, but inside they are made of gold. We have been called to be separate by being in this world but not part of it. I believe that we are to take care of our bodies (which are temples of the Holy Ghost) but I do not think we should not be altering the body the Lord has given to us. He has made us perfect in His eyes (regardless of if we’re heavy or graying or frumpy, etc) and to me (and my non-shallow husband) that is more than enough. Karly Knapp, Michigan
Re: “Bible College” I really cannot believe how horrible people talk about Bible colleges. I am a Bible college student and I have to say that it has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. I would never trade the prayer meetings, the Bible classes, the friendships, or the memories that I have made. I will admit I do not believe Bible college is for everyone. I feel that it should only be for those people who deeply feel the call of God on their lives and need the tools in which to answer that call. There have been many talented anointed men and woman that have come out of our UPCI Bible Colleges and I promise you that everyone one of them will tell you that they don’t regret it one bit. I will name just a few to jog the memory. We have artists like Mark Condon, Melanie Elms, Demetra Carney, Jonathan Moore, Karen Harding, and Howi Tiller; preachers such as Lee Stoneking, Chris Craft, Calvin Jean, Dannie Hood, Daniel Segraves, Fred Foster, Tim Pedigo and David Elms; missionaries like Howard and Vonda Smith, Scotty and Krista Slaydon, Robert and Jerolyn Kelley, Daniel and Holley Drost. I am sure Bible college made a huge different in each of these ministers lives. I am also confident that if you go to Bible college for the right reasons that it will change your life also. Name Withheld, Arizona
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