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Print Dear Gabby, I recently returned to the Lord after being a backslider for several years. I am now totally committed to Jesus or, at least I want to be, however I picked up a bad habit while I was away from the Lord—smoking. I am devastated that I can’t seem to quit. Do you have advice for me? Ms. Puffin’ Along in Pennsylvania Dear Ms. Pennsylvania, A couple of years ago, after my darling brown-eyed daughter, Kristy, and her amazing husband Adam gave me “The-World’s-Best-Grandson-Zane,” Kristy told me she was unhappy about the fact that her “baby fat” was not coming off as easily as she’d thought it would. “Mom,” she said to me one day while I was holding little Zane and making goo-goo eyes at him, “why isn’t this weight coming off as easily as it went on?” “You are one handsome little guy,” I responded, kissing my grandson on his nose, stealing a sniff of his sweet baby smell. “Mom!” Kristy said. “What?” (When “The-World’s-Best-Grandson-Zane” was in my arms, I had a hard time noticing anything else.) “Mom, I need to do something about this extra weight I’m carrying!” Kristy said. Something in her voice caught my attention and I looked up from the baby into her brown eyes, seeing real distress. “What have you tried?” I asked her, rearranging Zane to my shoulder to give him a chance to look at the colorful afghan on the back of the couch. “I’ve tried eating right, but that’s hard because I’m so exhausted from being up with the baby that I just grab something in a hurry, and it’s usually something that’s not good for me. And I tried, a couple of times, to exercise, but Zane will cry or I’ll remember, in the middle, that I need to put the next batch of clothes in the dryer and that I need to start dinner so it’ll be done when Adam gets home.” I looked at her a moment, then asked, “Remember when you learned to play the bass guitar?” “Yes, but what’s that got to do with this?” she asked, assuming, I’m sure, that I had lost my train of thought, like so many others in my generation do. “Well,” I replied, “you found yourself a teacher and you followed his plan instead of your own. You practiced when he said to and you played the songs he suggested and did the drills he assigned. You were accountable to him.” “Okay…” “If you’re really serious about taking this weight off, you need to find yourself someone that you’ll be accountable to.” “But what will I do with Zane?” I smiled and kissed his sweet cheek. “I have an idea. How about I go with you to the gym and, while you work out, I’ll be nearby enjoying ‘The-World’s-Best-Grandson-Zane?’” “Are you serious?” “Yes, sweetheart, I am!” And so, the next week, Kristy and I went off to the gym where she’d hired Wayne, a personal trainer, to work with her three times a week. I went with her each time after that—except for that one week when I was on my cruise and the time I had a cold and didn’t want “The-World’s-Best-Grandson-Zane” to catch it. And even though I was besotted and very distracted by my grandson, I couldn’t help but hear Wayne encouraging Kristy in her workouts. He’d say, “Come on, Kristy, you can do just one more. You can always do one more!” And Kristy would groan and complain, “But it’s hard!” And he’d say, “So?” And then, she’d take a deep breath and do one or two or six more repetitions. Sometimes he’d stand near her while she was running on the treadmill and ask her, “Can you do this?” and she’d mumble, “Yes.” “Are you strong?” he’d ask. “Yes,” she’d answer. “Say, ‘I’m strong!’” He’d demand and she’d say it, but not loud enough for him. He’d shout it at her and she’d shout back, her brown eyes snapping in anger, “Yes! I’m strong!” And, then she’d use her anger to run harder and longer making herself stronger and stronger in the process. And he’d smile and tell her, “I knew you could do it! I believe in you!” At the end of each session, Wayne would give Kristy a written report of all the exercises she’d completed, including how many repetitions she’d done and how long she’d run. She was always surprised at how much she’d accomplished. One day she told me, “Mom, if I’d known, when I arrived here today, that I was going to run four miles on the treadmill, I would’ve told you I couldn’t do it but, somehow, Wayne got me to do it!” Kristy’s trainer constantly prodded and pushed and encouraged her—and not just with her exercising. He also worked with her on her eating plan, giving her practical ideas on how to get through her day, and how to keep herself from falling back into her old patterns. Wayne had the plan and Kristy’s only job was to follow it. Not only did it work beautifully, but I, personally, got the opportunity to develop a relationship with “The-World’s-Best-Grandson-Zane” in the process. So, to you, Ms. Pennsylvania, I’m guessing that, like my darling brown-eyed daughter Kristy trying to lose weight, you’ve been trying to quit smoking on your own, without either taking advantage of God’s power or the professionals available. This isn’t going to be easy so it’s important for you to use all the resources available to you. Now, I’ve never smoked, not even one time in my hundred years of life, but I’m absolutely certain that, no matter how addicting it is, you are able to go one more minute without a cigarette, just like Kristy could always do one more repetition of the exercise. If you can go a minute without smoking, you can go two, and more! The problem, as I see it, is that you’re thinking beyond the minute you’re living in right now. Just ask God to help you overcome the addiction for this minute. Then, let the minutes build on each other until you’ve gone an hour, a day, a week, a month, never forgetting that it all starts with this minute! I’d also like to suggest that you find a professional like Kristy’s trainer Wayne, to whom you’re accountable. No excuses! Like my brown-eyed darling daughter Kristy, you’re strong and you can do this with the Lord’s help. I believe in you! Sincerely Sincere, Gabby
ninetyandnine.com © 2005, ninetyandnine.com ---------- Gabrigail VanBurden has been offering advice for longer than most of you have been alive. Email your practical Apostolic life questions to Gabby@ninetyandnine.com and be prepared for some straight answers! |
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