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Print I've been reading your articles for a while, and I love you! I have a question for you. Right now I am attending a Pentecostal church where the pastor and most of the parishioners used to be in the UPC. I believe my pastor is the best possible leader for my spiritual journey at this time. However, I find myself longing for the standards of dress. My in-laws were raised UPC, and although they are out of the church, my father-in-law still dresses the way he was taught. My problem is this: although I do not want to leave my home church because I feel it is the place God wants me to be right now, I would love to begin keeping the standards. Would that be completely out of the question? I just feel it is what I should do. Your help would be greatly appreciated Longing for the Standards in South Carolina
Dear Ms. South Carolina, My snide little sister Susannah and I broke eight jars of Imogene Hixson’s canned peaches at the General Store one summer day when we were there with our Papa. Papa had told us, twice, to stop horsing around, but we were being uncharacteristically disobedient, at least when his back was turned. And when Susannah pinched me, while we were impatiently standing there, waiting for Papa to finish his conversation with Mr. Chester Sawyer, the store’s constantly sweating, rotund proprietor (and proud president of the school board), I gave her a hard push. She knew, in that split second, that she was going to fall, so she grabbed me and we fell together into the shelf of canned goods. The sound of the crash still rings in my ears, almost a century later. And the sweet, sticky, slimy feeling of peaches falling out of my hair and down my neck was also a memory of a lifetime – not to mention the flies buzzing around the two of us until we could get home to our bathtub. Both Susannah and I also got the privilege of feeling peach juice seep into the small cuts we’d received from the broken glass. I’m sure you’re wondering what discipline Papa administered to Susannah and me, and you can rest assured that he took care of that in a thorough way, but what I want to focus on, Ms. South Carolina, is how Papa handled the situation with Mr. Sawyer. Once the sound of the crash stopped, and Papa had moved us out of the way of the broken glass, he and Mr. Sawyer worked together to clean up the sticky mess. “You don’t have to do this, Ted,” Mr. Sawyer said to my Papa, more than once, as he wheezed his way through the cleanup, pausing every couple of minutes to mop at his brow. “Nonsense,” my Papa answered, shoveling a peachy pile of glass into the trash bin. “Most people just walk away when they break something,” he wheezed. “Chester,” my Papa said, “I’m not just going to help you clean up this mess, but I’m going to pay for these peaches, as well.” “You don’t have to do that,” Mr. Sawyer repeated, wiping some of the stickiness off his hands onto his apron so he could pull out his handkerchief again. “I just consider this type of breakage a cost of doing business.” “And I,” my Papa answered firmly, glancing over at the two of us, “consider paying for the damage my daughters caused the right thing to do. Once the mess was cleaned up and the flies had stopped buzzing (except for around Susannah and me), Papa took money out of his pocket and paid Mr. Sawyer for the broken jars of peaches. On the way home, I asked him why he’d paid, even though Mr. Sawyer said he didn’t have to. “He said nobody else pays when they break something, Papa,” I said. “Gabrigail,” he responded, “I don’t make my decisions according to what other people do. I do what I believe is right – just because it’s right.” “So even if the whole world…” I started. “Even if the whole world goes a different direction,” he interrupted, “I’m responsible for doing what God leads me to do.” I learned the lesson well that day and it’s one that you, Ms. South Carolina, might want to understand, too. I’ve followed my Papa’s example of trying to respond in the right way, no matter what others do. You’re responsible to do what God leads you to do. You say you’re following His leading by attending the church you do, so, in the same way, if you feel that God wants you to dress in a more modest way than the people around you, it’s your responsibility to do so – even if no one else does. Who knows? Maybe your example will lead even more people to dress in a way that will please God. And you won’t have to clean up any big peachy messes in the process! Sincerely Sincere,
ninetyandnine.com
© 2006, ninetyandnine.com
---------- Gabrigail VanBurden has been offering advice for longer than most of you have been alive. Email your practical Apostolic life questions to Gabby@ninetyandnine.com and be prepared for some straight answers! |
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