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Print By Matt Legere Let’s start at the beginning. After being raised in godly homes, my wife, Heidi, and I were married on June 22, 2002, at a beautiful ceremony in her small hometown in north-central Indiana. We knew each other for almost four years, and we endured a long-distance relationship for over a year before getting married and carrying out our commitment to each other in the presence of friends, family, and Jesus Christ. Like many newly-married couples, we had many dreams that we wanted to come to fruition regarding our lives together. At first, these dreams appeared to be happening with ease. God granted us favor in our individual career paths as a result of putting Him first. Additionally, we’ve been blessed with many opportunities to involve ourselves in active ministry at our local church. After only six months of marriage, we were even able to purchase our first home and transform it from a foreclosed “fixer-upper” to a well-maintained home. Things were going exceptionally well… Nevertheless, there was one major dream of ours that had still not come to pass—children. We had assumed that our having children would happen as quickly as our other dreams had materialized. However, after a few months of attempting to bury our fears and hide our impatience from each other, my wife and I began to comment to each other about how frustrating it was that we weren’t getting pregnant as quickly as we would have liked. How could God allow this to happen to us? We were almost indignant at the very idea that we, as a Holy Ghost-filled young couple, would have to struggle with infertility. Didn’t God remember what we had done for Him? We had never backslid or tasted of many of the evil vices that the world has to offer, yet we were “cursed” with an empty house without children. It just did not seem fair! Oh, my wife and I loved and appreciated each other, but we felt embarrassed and somehow incomplete at our inability to conceive.
God’s Timing is Not Our Timing The Lord had to begin to teach us that He “sends rain on the just and on the unjust” (Matthew 5:45, NKJV). We had to let go of our attitudes of entitlement that act as if God owes us something. We needed to realize we owed Him everything. We would shout in church services with everyone else and say things like, “Jesus, if you never do another thing for us, we’ll still worship you!” But did we mean it? The Lord wanted to teach us patience. In the meantime, we did everything possible to demonstrate our trust in the Lord. Whenever we saw a good sale on maternity or baby clothes, we would purchase a few outfits. We babysat other couples’ young children. We even bought gifts for children in the family and in the church. When we needed to make a decision to purchase a different vehicle, we decided to buy a minivan. We figured that, if we could pay off the minivan before we had kids, it would be easier for my wife to stay at home with the children. Yes, that’s right, a young childless couple was driving around everywhere in an empty minivan all the while thinking, “Will we ever be able to have children?” God was showing us, however, that He was more interested in our character than our feelings.
I Will Praise the Lord at All Times As our apprehension grew, we began to be overwhelmed with questions from well-meaning individuals who were wondering, “When are you going to have children?” or “What are you guys waiting for?” Then, we were hit with another test. Two of my wife’s closest friends found out that they were expecting—and one of them wasn’t even trying to conceive! With this news fresh in our minds, we began to fight the roots of bitterness and discontentment. I can remember lying in bed one night, and it seemed that the full weight of this trial came to rest on my chest. It reminded me of how much anger, fear, and embarrassment I had been holding in. I just began to cry as I felt the pain of fear, doubt, and depression close in around me. My wife and I immediately held hands and just sang the words of the song “Still I Will Trust You” together: Still I will trust you. / Still I will follow. / Still I will listen to your every calling. / Though the storm rages on and I can’t find my way. / Still I will trust you Lord. Singing the words of that song together was one of many turning points in our struggle. Another encouraging time came a few weeks later during a revival at our local church with Bro. Eli Hernandez. My pastor prayed over us that God would grant us the desire of our heart, and, as my wife and I received the word, we began to dance in the Spirit all over the front of the auditorium. We had danced before the Lord in the past, but this time was different. We were unified in saying, “God, you are worthy of the praise in spite of our circumstances.” From that moment on, we attempted to stop focusing on our problems and instead focus on the Lord. As we began to call upon Him, we felt very strongly that we should retain our hope for children and that the Lord would work it out. As we continued to pray and study His Word, He kept encouraging us and confirming His Word. One key point that helped us to get through this trial of our faith was to find people to talk to and confide in. We each had important individuals that, when the doubts would roll in, we could give them a call to vent our frustrations and seek encouragement. When your faith is under fire, it is helpful to have positive ways to express your disappointments.
Rejoice with Them That Rejoice As we continued to trust in the Lord, He reminded us of an important scripture: “Rejoice with those who rejoice…” (Romans 12:15, NKJV). What did He mean? We were hurting, upset, and sad, and He wanted us to be happy for someone else that is experiencing something that we want to experience? We did not understand it at the time, but God was trying to allow us to put our own needs and desires aside in order to be happy for someone else. As God continued to humble us, we attempted to busy ourselves with helping our friends that were expecting. We helped one couple build their crib and decorate the nursery. We would purchase clothes for the babies when we could. And my wife allowed the expectant mothers to even borrow some of her maternity clothes that she had bought for herself.
True Intercession In April 2005, my wife and I were standing in the hospital waiting room while our previously mentioned friends were anxiously awaiting the arrival of their daughter. We “endured” 15 hours in the hospital waiting room because we wanted to show our support for our friends. We thought, “What better way to illustrate the principle of ‘rejoicing with them that rejoice’ than to be present when the baby was born? It was harder than we thought. Our friends were experiencing something that we wanted so badly and being present at the hospital reminded us of what we didn’t have. We were still trying to praise the Lord in spite of our circumstance, but our emotions were deceiving us. In the middle of our sadness, the Lord suddenly impressed upon me the need to pray for the baby’s health and the health of the mother. Now, I was no stranger to intercession, but, for a few seconds, I almost found it hard to intercede for someone else to have something that I wanted myself. However, I put these thoughts aside, went out into one of the hallways, and began to cry and intercede in tongues for their health. After about 10 minutes, I felt a peace about the situation and the Lord spoke a powerful, timely statement to me. He said, “Matthew, because you have prayed and interceded for someone else to experience something that you haven’t yet experienced, yet want so badly, I will honor you. The time is now—enjoy your child!
Whose Report Will You Believe? Although we both willingly received the divine Word from the Lord, we still struggled a bit over the next few months with waiting for His promise. After two years of unsuccessfully trying to have children, we finally decided to go to the doctor’s office for testing. The result was that the doctor outlined some key reasons why we were not getting pregnant. Now what? I have a promise from the Lord that says we are going to bear children, and I have medical doctors giving me another opinion. Although it was hard news to bear, we still attempted to not doubt the promises of God. In August 2005, we had a feeling that my wife might be pregnant. We’d had our hopes raised before, however, only to have them come crashing down. Although my wife finally decided to go forward with taking the pregnancy test, I decided to go to bed. (Isn’t it sad how cynical we can become?) Suddenly, my sleep was interrupted by my wife running into the bedroom and saying, “Babe!” When I opened my eyes and saw her smile, my heart skipped a beat. Could it be? Then she asked me a question that will forever change my life. She said, “Are you ready to be a daddy?” In April 2006, one year after I stood in the hallways of Bristol Hospital and received a divine promise from the Lord, I will be standing in that same hospital waiting for the delivery of a baby boy named Connor Matthew Legere. As I prepare for his arrival, I am reminded of the last verse of the song, “It is Well:” Lord, haste the day when my faith becomes sight. / The clouds be rolled back as a scroll. / The trump shall resound and the Lord shall descend. / Even so, it is well with my soul.
The Lord is Not Slack Concerning His Promises No matter what you may be going through, please remember the faithfulness of God and trust His plan. You may not understand it and it may not be the path that you would have chosen yourself, but He knows the thoughts and plans that He has for you and He will reveal them in His time. As for my wife and I, every single time that Connor’s heart beats, it is a reminder to us that the Lord is faithful. It also brings a smile to our faces to know that the devil can hear Connor’s heartbeat, too. And with every beat, he is forced to realize that he was unable to stop the promises of my God.
ninetyandnine.com © 2006, Matthew Legere --------- Matthew Legere works as a senior underwriter at a Fortune 500 healthcare insurance company. He resides in Bristol, CT, with his wife, Heidi, and they are actively involved in ministry at their local church. He is striving to get as much sleep as possible because he’s been told that after his son Connor is born, he will never sleep again. |
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