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Anxiety Disorder Reordered

By Jana Floyd
April 3, 2006

My name is Jana Floyd, and I formerly suffered from Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). My husband, Scott, and I attended the same Apostolic church from birth until we were 19 years old with our families. When we decided to attend another Apostolic church, to say that my family didn’t necessarily approve is the understatement of the year. Their belief that we were destined for hell because we no longer attended their church wreaked havoc on my life.

“The people that I loved had turned against me” (Job 19:19).

It broke my heart. I had peace about our decision to move to our current church because God had spoken to me in an audible voice and told me that we were in His will by doing so. However, that decision was being fought with a vengeance from every possible avenue. As a result of the destroyed relationship with my family, I developed GAD. GAD currently affects 2.7 million people on a long-term basis in the United States, and more women suffer than men. Each year about 4 million people suffer from GAD. Genetics, brain chemistry, or environmental issues can cause GAD, and it is frequently accompanied by depression.

Fear completely consumed my life. Every waking moment was spent in terror. It put an enormous strain on my marriage, all relationships, and my job. I couldn’t function with the random bursts of emotion brought on by calls from my family, watching a movie at home, or a mere mention of a death or crisis. I had uneasiness and an uncomfortable, self-conscious feeling in social settings that made me act strangely around people, even if I knew them well. Simple routine activities would bring on an anxiety attack and leave me helpless. I would tell myself that my fear was stupid, pointless, and that it didn’t make any sense. That knowledge did not ease the anxiety and fear that crippled me. I would start hyperventilating, and my heart and mind would race. At first, I thought I had offended God in some way, and that if I fasted for several days at a time it would go away. I thought I was insane because I’d never experienced any mental condition like this before. I’d always been a happy and fearless person. I didn’t know how to deal with this problem. My husband didn’t understand my excessive worrying, irritability, or depression. He would tell me to “just stop worrying or thinking about it.” I wished with all my heart that either of those were possible. I would quote scriptures to myself such as, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (II Timothy 1:7, NKJV), and “…God is not the author of confusion…” (I Corinthians 14:33). Somehow, those verses didn’t seem to pierce the cloak of fear that shrouded my mind.

In desperation, I turned to medication. The side effects were so severe that I didn’t take the medicine longer than a week. The doctor told me some people experienced a “funny feeling” while on the medication, but that he didn’t really know how to describe it. The “funny feeling” turned out to be dizziness, disorientation, and feeling faint. En-route to work one morning on a road I’d been taking for four years, suddenly nothing looked familiar, and I almost passed out. I think that side effect is one that outweighs the positive effects of the medicine. Now what could I do?

After reading medical information about GAD, I found that a healthy diet and exercise should control symptoms. I started eating healthy and exercising daily, or at least four times a week. I continued with this method until the present. Even those tactics did not eliminate the anxiety. I still struggled with horrific dreams, the dark, and being alone. My life was governed by avoiding things that triggered the panic attacks. It had become a habit, and it wasn’t even successful.

Over the past four years of tolerating this disorder, I prayed innumerable times to be healed. I fasted for days. Initially, I talked about my problem to anyone that would listen. I took medication. I followed every morsel of advice. I do not know why none of those attempts were successful. However, I know that I was healed instantly at a revival on January 21, 2006!

During Bro. Luke Levine’s invitation for those that needed healing to walk through a prayer line, he mentioned freedom from mental torment. I was still unsure if I should go, but I went anyway. Until the moment I stepped in between the rows of people praying, thoughts flew through my mind like “GAD is the most common mental disorder, millions of people have it, you shouldn’t get prayer,” and, “You’ve learned how to cope with it, just get out of the line.” Doubt said, “You’ve prayed for this healing so many times before, today isn’t going to be any different.” Despite these thoughts, I stepped into the line. I know that healing may be obvious for some physical conditions because you can physically feel it, or see it. I can’t explain it, but I knew with just as much surety that I had been healed! For the first time in four years, I was free! I felt liberty and the chains had been broken. Now I can hardly keep a smile off of my face! God healed me of a condition that plagued me for four years without ceasing.

God also worked a miracle with my family over time before my healing. They now realize that I am in His will, and that I am not doomed to eternal damnation. He restored a relationship that seemed beyond repair! Now I know that God will not threaten us and have us live in fear, constantly worrying about our next step and its consequences. He is a loving God that gives good gifts, and things don’t happen to us that He doesn’t allow (Job 1:8-12). Hence, I do not have to be afraid of the future because God is in control. For the first time in a long time, I have a peace that passes all understanding.

© 2006, Jana Floyd

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Jana Floyd lives in Lithia Springs, Georgia with her husband of five years, Scott. No, they do not have any children; and before asking the next inevitable question, it will be at least two years. In the meantime, they enjoy spending time with nieces and nephews, and being active members of Youth Staff, Sanctuary Choir, Youth Choir, and Drama Team.