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The Essentials for a Military Spouse
By Nancy Lewis Adaptability/Flexibility: Most military spouses move quite often. My husband and I have been married for 6 years and we have already moved from Colorado to the Azores (Portugal), then to Louisiana, and now we are about to move back to our home state of Texas, where we will be for the next 10 months. There are many things that change from move to move--weather, people, churches, colleges, etc. Sometimes these things can be a challenge to adjust to, but it is important to make a successful adaptation. I have to admit there are things I have disliked about every place, but, if you dwell on it, you will be miserable. As a committed military spouse, you are forced to put away some of your own expectations and goals and focus on the positive things at every location. What I have learned is to look for new opportunities in each place. It’s not always easy, but is essential to a successful tour. Phone Plan: I am sure most of the female population will understand why a good phone plan is an essential part of being a military spouse. Although I live a good distance from my family, that is all that separates me from them. My mother and I contact each other every day, and I stay in touch with other family members on a weekly basis as well. Early on in our marriage, there were times when our phone bill was rather high. My husband did not believe that I could actually go over the minutes on our cell phone. In his mind, all I had to do was wait until the weekend, and I could talk all I wanted for free. I finally convinced him that when I need to talk to my mother, I need to talk to my mother. Needless to say we now have a good long distance plan. High Speed Internet Connection: There are two reasons why this is a necessity. First of all, it is helpful when online shopping is your only way to buy new clothes or other items. When overseas, shopping opportunities are limited. Unless you are content with wearing the clothing sold by the locals, you are going to have to shop online. A slow internet connection can mean a great deal of frustration and wasted time. Secondly, E-mail is another way to stay connected with friends and family. Uploading photos and sending attachments are made easy when you don’t have to wait for hours on a dial-up connection. Strong Family Code: This may be difficult for people who have lived in one place all of their lives to understand, but every military spouse either has or will develop a strong set of beliefs and values for his or her family. Moving from place to place can present a different kind of stress on family units. For example, attending different churches might confuse a child or adolescent if a set of family core values has not been established and taught. Different churches have different standards, and children, especially adolescents, should not have to adapt to these new standards by changing their beliefs everywhere they go. You must develop core beliefs that will remain whether your current church is “liberal” or “conservative.” If you, as a parent, have Bible to back them up, then teach it to your children. Church standards are normally set by the pastor and influenced by other factors. A military spouse must have a biblical code that will keep his/her family on the right course. Supportive Spouse: Last but not least, having a supportive spouse is undoubtedly one of the most important assets. You need someone who supports your goals and helps you through each transition. Making friends is a part of every move. In the meantime, however, when you arrive at your new destination and are trying to make friends, knowing that you have your best friend there is always reassuring.
ninetyandnine.com © 2006, Nancy Lewis ---------- Nancy Lewis is a full-time mother and military spouse. |
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