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Print Dear Gabby, I have been in the church several years and I am married to a wonderful man who is working on becoming a minister. He is doing everything he can to further that, and even though I am trying desperately to help him, I feel like I am only a hindrance. You see, before I came into the church, my favorite thing to do was watch TV and movies. This is something I have a conviction against now and have for a long time, but even after all these years, I still can't seem to shake it. We do not own a TV, but we have friends and family who do, and, of course, it is getting easier to find stuff on my computer all the time – not to mention my computer has a DVD player on it. I have talked to my husband about this in the past, but I hate to keep failing in front of him. The thing is, I feel like I have a very real addiction, I am sure one that is just as hard to quit as something like smoking. However, my addiction is one that is not recognized by anyone. They do not have a weekly meeting for Movies Anonymous. I have been praying about this, but I just feel stuck. Can you help me feel free once and for all? Mrs. Media Maniac in Minnesota
Dear Mrs. Minnesota, I broke my leg when I was 41 years old. I’ve already told that story here with a lot of details, but when I received your letter, there was something different I wanted to point out so I’m going to retell some of it here. My dear Harry loved hiking in the great outdoors. I was less enthusiastic about the whole idea, but, because I loved being with him and I always managed to have at least some fun, I joined him every year on his trip to the Colorado Mountains. The problem with hiking trips is that they’re not relaxing like I always wanted vacations to be. Instead, they were mostly filled with hard work like hiking and hauling and then cooking over a fire and washing the dishes in the stream. There was too much sweating, in my opinion, and very little time to curl up to read a good book, which is what I wanted to do on vacation. The day I broke my leg, I was tired of it all. Harry had heard from a guide that there was a not-to-be-missed view a few miles up the trail and he really wanted to hike there to see it. After a lot of convincing, I finally agreed to go along, but I admit that I had a bad attitude the whole time. After several hours of hiking, I was exhausted, anxious for a rest, and complaining steadily. I’d stopped watching the trail in lieu of examining the back of Harry’s head for the softest spot to aim my water bottle, when the toe of my hiking boot got caught in a tree root growing along the trail. My body fell forward, but, because my boot was stuck on the tree root and couldn’t move, the force of the fall broke my leg. It was one of the biggest challenges of my life to hike four miles back down to our base camp to get to medical help, but with a lot of assistance from my dear Harry, along with the splint and crutch he’d fashioned out of a tree fallen nearby, we finally made it. He even carried me when I couldn’t go any farther. When I read your letter, my mind immediately focused on the tree root that tripped me. Both Harry and I had stepped over many tree roots on that (and all the previous) hikes. And Harry had managed to get past that one too. But not me. That particular root was the one that tripped me. I acknowledge that the media can be a stumbling stone (or tree root) for many people. Others seem to be able to consistently step over it and it doesn’t affect their hike or their view of life. The important thing, I believe, is to know what your own personal stumbling stones are and to pay attention to them. I’d like to suggest that you ask yourself a question. Is every part of the media a problem for you? Maybe, like many of the roots I successfully traveled past, certain elements might be okay. It’s just important to provide yourself with very specific boundaries and when you see that something is going to be too big for you to step over, you need to make the decision to walk around that aspect of the media. One other thing I want to suggest is to stay focused on what you should be doing! If I hadn’t been distracted by my anger at my husband, I probably wouldn’t have tripped, but, because I was preoccupied, I missed the danger signs and had to deal with my brokenness for many months afterward. I believe that many “addicted” people could overcome their obsessions if they’d just pay attention to what they should be doing instead of being sidetracked by other things. It wasn’t really the root that caused my fall. It was my inattentiveness to the fact that the root might be there. If you watch out for the possible “roots” in your life, you can be more successful in your desire not to stumble. Think about it. Sincerely Sincere,
©2006, ninetyandnine.com -------- Gabrigail VanBurden has been offering advice for longer than most of you have been alive. Email your practical Apostolic life questions to Gabby@ninetyandnine.com and be prepared for some straight answers! |
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