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Print By Debbie Simler-Goff My four-year-old granddaughter Josey is known as the Informer. She informed her aunt when her cousin squirted a juice box all over the wall. She informed her mommy when her brother pulled her hair. And she informed the entire church, during prayer requests, that she was constipated! Yes, Josey likes to keep others informed. Sometimes she’s amusing. Occasionally she’s entertaining. But most of the time she’s just being a snitch. Sometimes we are like Josey. We like to inform others also. We inform one co-worker when another co-worker takes too many breaks. We inform our friends about the fight we had with our spouse. Or we inform the pastor that Sister So-and-So is singing more solos than we are. Yes, we like to keep others informed. Sometimes our tales are amusing. Occasionally they are entertaining. But most of the time we also are just being snitches. Informing is prevalent in our society. Virtually every class of people has a name for it. For example, a street person might refer to snitching as squealing, ratting or spilling one’s guts. But one of Wall Street’s finest would call it disclosure or hearsay. A housewife would say it’s only “backyard chatter,” While an upwardly mobile-type might want to know the “latest buzz.” But no matter who says it, or what they call it, gossip is still gossip. Trapped! As a young wife and mother I fell into the gossip trap. I complained about my husband. I griped about my children. I offered an earful to anyone who would listen. But if I knew then, what I know now, I would have gossiped less. Then, I didn’t realize how gossip strained my marriage. Now, I know it betrays this most sacred relationship. Then, I didn’t understand it weakened my credibility with my spouse and with others. Now, I see how gossip breaks trust and breeches confidentiality. Then, I had no idea my divulgences invited others into my marriage. Now, I know that they had no business being there. Then, I didn’t perceive my gossip as against God’s word. Now, I know without a doubt it is. Even a quick glance at scripture confirms that God does not approve of gossip. The Old Testament says: “He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy and faithful in spirit keeps the matter hidden” (Proverbs 11:13, Amplified Bible). It also adds: “Where there is no wood, the fire goes out; And where there is no talebearer, strife ceases” (Proverbs 26:20). The Solution That Wasn’t a Solution When I realized my gossiping offended God, I was convicted. I stopped calling my friends to air my dirty laundry. Instead, I sought help from the ladies prayer group. These women got together to pray and intercede for each other’s needs. This seemed like a plausible answer to my problem:
After all prayer is the antidote to a wagging tongue. It should have worked. But it didn’t. It would have worked if we had prayed more. Instead we shared a whole lot and prayed very little. But If I knew then, what I know now, I would have prayed much more. Escape! Then, I didn’t understand how prayer affects the subconscious mind of both parties involved. Now, I know that when I tell God my concerns, He changes my spouse and me from the inside out. Then, I didn’t realize that gossiping limited me to the confines of my friend’s human abilities. Now, I know that when I rely solely on God, the potential resolutions to my problems are endless! Then, seeking others opinions about my problems seemed to provide perspective. Now, I understand how very important it is to ask God’s opinion first. This enables me to see my life from His point of view. Eventually I stopped gossiping. Most of my current frustrations are for God’s ears only. And what shall be done about Josey? Well, for now, she’s still the family informant. But when she’s older, I’ll explain to her what I didn’t know then that I know now. ninetyandnine.com © 2007, Debbie Simler-Goff ---------- Debbie Simler-Goff is a freelance writer whose first article was for 99! She has written for various magazines including Indeed, Victory In Grace and the IBC Perspectives. Go to Debbie's website—your visit will make her day! |
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