Being Somebody's Son

October 13, 2008

By Tom Velie 

Dear Dad, 

The little boy sat in the group of temporary friends earlier this year.  The children's counselor asked each of them, “If you could be anything you wanted to be, what would it be?”  He thought for only a moment before responding, “I'd like to be somebody's son.” 

“Just to be somebody's son?” I asked myself, allowing the pointed knife of these innocent words to slowly penetrate my heart.  The hundred or so adoption workers who were listening to the counselor, a former Miss Nevada--an adopted child herself--blurred as the emotional wave tumbled over me. 

I always knew what I wanted to be.  Well, perhaps my dreams changed a few times between kindergarten and graduation.  Yes, I vacillated between wanting to be a carpenter, the President of the United States, an astronaut, a math teacher, a railroad engineer, a cowboy, a preacher and, most often back then, an Air Force pilot.  Not one millisecond of my brain-time was spent pondering the silly-to-me thought of being “a son.”  

Doesn't everyone have a father?  Jesus, who Isaiah called “a man of sorrow,” was the Father's son, Joseph's son, and David's son.  I am “Bill Velie's son” and you certainly acquainted Joe and me with the 38 Proverbial instructions to sons.  You also taught us how to hunt, fish, mow the lawn, wash the car, shovel snow (why didn't we own a snow blower back then?), dig weeds, rake the lawn, build homes, finish concrete, and wash dishes.  You seem to have mentioned “variety,” while rarely mentioning “allowance.”    

Perhaps it's because you've been diagnosed with a brain tumor.  Perhaps it's because our mission in life is finding “forever families” for children through adoption. But, in that one brief point of time, and with a mental picture of one little boy saying, “I'd like to be somebody's son,” the emotional knife found its mark. 

A multitude of thoughts tumbled within me.  The memories of the good times and tough times we've had poured through my mind as the tears forced themselves from my eyes.  In that moment, I realized that “being a son” eclipses all of the other dreams and hopes of a lifetime.  In a way that the world's system fails to comprehend, I am a wealthy man because I am your son. 

“Being a son” means that you do have a father.  And you're the very best! 

Thank you, Dad. 

Love,

Tom 

© 2008, Tom Velie 

Tom Velie (LMSW) serves as the Executive Director of New Beginnings International Children's & Family Services. 

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