MK to PK: Is Everybody Hungry in Hungary?

November 17, 2008

By Sonya Szabolcsi

In the first part, I shared my experiences as a Missionary’s Kid (MK) on the field and also my switch to being a Preacher’s/Pastor’s Kid (PK).  In this one, I’ll finish with my experiences as an MK in the U.S. on deputation, as well as my experiences coping with the new PK lifestyle.       

Deputation or Traveling to Raise Funds

The first deputation I remember was our family’s second deputation. I was six years-old at the time, my brother was eight, and my older sister was 10.  As kids, we hated the non-stop travel from church to church.  We would have services anywhere from two-to-five times a week, with some of them taking us from one state to the next. We passed through states like a whirlwind.  One week we would be in the hot and muggy greens of Alabama, and the next we would be in the hot and dry desert of Arizona. 

I can only imagine what it must have been like for my parents, putting up with three fussy kids, getting us through our school work, and taking turns driving for hours on end in our little 27-foot RV that we lived in for those two years.  After services, we would usually be taken out to eat by the pastor and his family.  Eating out was basically our breakfast, lunch, and dinner, as I don’t remember us cooking too many meals in our RV.    

For us kids, it was all just routine.  We knew what to say and what not to say, we knew how to behave and be quiet, and we could even quote our dad’s presentation word for word.  If he was able to show our video presentation, we knew every word, every song, every scene, and knew exactly how long it was down to the minute. (I can still hear the music now in my head.)  We knew how to make quick friends, but we also knew that we would be leaving them almost as soon as we became better acquainted.  If we had a Sunday morning service, many times we would go to the Sunday school and often just jump into whatever special program they had planned, whether it was for Mother’s Day or Easter.

Questions like, “What’s it like living in…?” or something along those lines is the norm when you’re on deputation.  With practiced manners and a plastic smile, we try to fumble some kind of answer that will appease the innocent curiosity of the questioner.  Since we were missionaries to Hungary, the typical joke that we’d come across was, “Oh, you’re missionaries to Hungary, huh? Are all the people there hungry?” So many times I wanted to tell that precious person just how many times I’ve heard that one before and after the 20^th time it just wasn’t funny anymore.  But because I knew they were trying to be friendly and had no idea that their well-thought out joke was really not so original, I’d keep my mouth shut and try to muster up a laugh.  But that’s not all there is to deputation.

There were a couple things that we all looked forward to while in the U.S.  One was that, if we had scheduled services in the state or were on a break for whatever reason, we would be able to spend some time back at our home church in Belleville, Illinois. It was a time of rest for us and a time to reconnect with old friends.  Another thing we looked forward to was visiting our relatives.  Most of them were on my mom’s side, since the majority of my dad’s relatives lived in Europe.  Visiting our home church and our relatives was always a highlight for all of us.      

Coping with PK Life

Being a PK has its own strange stresses and strains.

I remember feeling that everybody was watching me and almost hoping that I would mess up so they could point their finger in criticism.  I used to struggle with this when I was younger; it made me upset and only fueled a rebellious spirit within me.  Complicating matters, I wanted to show them that I really wasn’t any better than they were, nor ever desired to be.  I felt trapped by everyone’s expectations and was trying to claw my way out of a hole that I had created and went about it the wrong way. 

Now that I am a young adult, though, I have grown stronger in myself and in the Lord and have learned how to deal with it the right way.  Realizing that it wasn’t my responsibility to please everybody released me from the pressure of trying to do just that.  The only thing that matters is that I please God.  Once I finally got that through my head, I stopped getting so upset and didn’t feel so pressured anymore.  After years of struggling with this, I have learned to do what I should’ve done from the start and that is to live for God to the best of my ability and keep my eyes on the One who is perfect, rather than the people in this world who are not. 

MK vs. PK

Like everything, there are pros and cons to both sides of the ocean.  The pros of being a PK are that it’s good living in one place and getting to know the people more permanently.  Life as a whole seems to be more stable. 

Plus, even though I may move away, whether it is for college or a job, I know my parents will always be at the same place and in the U.S.  It just makes it more convenient in terms of travel distance and cost to visit them.  Another benefit is being able to see relatives more often than if we were still missionaries and constantly on the move.

Being an MK is great in terms of being part of a much larger and understanding missionary family.  Another positive thing is getting to see and experience things and visit places that most people only dream about.  I was also able to be a part of two different worlds.  My situation was unique in the fact that I grew up in one world for the first half of my life, and then grew up in another for the second half.  In being an MK, I have not only lived in and experienced the cultures of two countries, but also the many different cultures throughout the United States and Europe.  For this experience, I feel truly privileged and grateful. 

In living both kinds of lives, I have learned and have gained a rich experience and understanding of so many things.  They have shaped me into the person I am today. 

God has truly blessed me in so many ways and I can never thank Him enough for the life He has given me.  Even if I could, I wouldn’t trade my life for anyone else’s.  I’m glad to have been not only an MK, but also a PK. 

ninetyandnine.com

© 2008, Sonya Szabolcsi

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Sonya Szabolcsi is a soon-to-be full-time student at Webster University in St. Louis, majoring in International Relations.  Besides working part-time at Aeropostle, she spends her time counting the days she has left until she finally graduates!  She’s got a heart for God, a heart for ministry, and a heart for whatever else God decides to put in it.