The Inconvenient Backslider

March 2, 2009

By Rich Brown

I've often wondered how Apostolics would react if one of the many famous musicians who have left the fold were to repent and want to come back and be part of the Body of Christ again. Would we welcome them back? Or would we try to convince them to go away. . . They are, after all, just too embarrassing.

I ask because I've found myself in a situation similar to that. And even as people assure me that Jesus always welcomes you back, I'm finding that those imperfect creatures we call Christians don't always do so.

I have been an Apostolic almost my entire life, since I was 15. I graduated with honors from one of our Bible colleges. I've taught at an Apostolic Christian school, worked for many years for a prominent Christian magazine, and taught for a while at a Bible college.

During that time, I saw many people go out and in and out and back into the church. We do seem to welcome back certain backsliders eagerly. But what I've observed is that there are others that we don't so eagerly welcome. Some of the musicians I mentioned, for instance, have left the fold for sexual sin or divorce. And for them, we seem to have a different standard.

And we also seem to have that same standard for someone who rises to a place of prominence in the movement--and then goes to prison. That was my case, and this is the first time I've written openly about it. In 2004 I went to prison for the crime of criminal confinement (which, in the state where I was prosecuted, is the charge of holding someone someplace against their will). I maintained from the beginning that the legal charge was absurd. There was simply no way I was guilty of the crime. In fact, my attorney remains baffled at the charge to this day. However, I was guilty of sin, and so in time I learned to welcome this trial as God's way of burning the sin out of my life.

I never ceased being Apostolic. Even in prison, there was a regular Apostolic service that I attended, and so I have always, even during those three years, continued attending Apostolic services. Almost immediately upon my incarceration, I completely and thoroughly examined my heart and repented of all known sin. To this day, I maintain that going to prison brought me closer to God than any other experience in my life.

Many positive things came from my incarceration. I learned to become a soul-winner with boldness, something I could never manage before this happened. I became a church counselor for my dorm and reached many who were baptized. And my knowledge of the Word and commitment to the Apostolic message became more solid than ever. Most importantly, I developed the habit of regularly evaluating whether there's any sin in my life, and if so, repenting of it.

Then in 2007, I got the news: The state Supreme Court had reviewed my case and found that, lo and behold, there was insufficient evidence to find me guilty of the crimes for which I had been charged (Thanks, Your Honors, for telling me what I've been trying to tell everyone for three years!). They overturned my convictions and forgave my transgressions. Just as God had done (but much quicker).

And just as the Church as a whole has yet to do. Even though the courts now say I'm innocent of any wrongdoing, Apostolics continue to hold over my head what the State does not. I have been told, for instance, that those in my old home church are not permitted to talk to me, unless it's through their prison-ministry director. I recently joined the “Everyone's Apostolic” website that allows you to have fellowship with Apostolics around the world. I was reconnecting with many old friends--only to find out that someone reported to them that I'd been to prison. And so they banned me from the site. I have written and telephoned untold numbers of former Apostolic friends, only to have my calls and emails ignored. And in one case, the person told me, “We don't want to have anything to do with you any more.”

Please understand: I refuse to be turned away from God because of this. As much as many Apostolics would like for me to stay “backslidden,” I simply refuse to give up on God for their convenience.

Nor am I bitter. In fact, since being released from prison, I've found a small independent Apostolic church that knows my past and welcomes me. I'm teaching the adult Sunday school class and working in prison ministry. So, in my particular case, the lack of love from the majority of Apostolics has not driven me from God.

So that's not why I'm writing this. I'm writing on behalf of my friends, the millions of other backsliders out there who don't have the determination I have, to make it despite how they're treated. What of them? Are we content to let them stay in the clutches of Satan so that they don't put us in an inconvenient spot? May I remind you of important scriptures?

“Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted“ (Galatians 6:1).

I was blessed that, even as the majority of Apostolics rejected me, and continue to do so, there have been two or three who sincerely believe this verse--and live it out. But while incarcerated, I encountered several Apostolics--yes, Apostolics--who reported the same kind of rejection I'm telling you about. And I worry that they won't have the determination that, no matter how they're treated, they're going to make it. And I'm afraid there's just nobody there for most of them to “love them into the Church.”

One more passage: Read Luke 15 sometime and let the story of the Prodigal Son sink in. Understand that the real message here was that, when a person who had been saved leaves God's house and then returns, even though those in the Church (the “older brother”) reject you, God does not.

And so I ask you: Are you the “Older Brother” who received the criticism of Jesus in this parable? For you, is the returning Prodigal too inconvenient to love?

ninetyandnine.com

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Rich Brown is a fulltime freelance writer in Kernersville, NC, where he attends Benefit of Calvary Apostolic Church, teaches the adult Sunday school class, works in prison ministry, and eats pizza with backsliders. Email him at rcbrown20@msn.com.