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From Misery to Victory - One Teen's Story
By Amy Potter
June 28, 2004

I am 15 years old, and here is my testimony of how God has touched my life.

I lived with my aunt and uncle until I was about nine years old, because my mom already had two kids from other marriages. When she found out she was pregnant with me, Mom was just going to abort me. My aunt said, “No way,” and let me live with her. You would think that things would be fine from there, but they were really bad.

I decided when I was nine to ask my mom if I could come and live with her and my dad. She was really hesitant at first, but eventually said yes. I was so excited, thinking my life was going to be just like the “Brady Bunch,” but it ended up being the opposite. Mom and Dad were never home, so I was pretty much raised by my two older brothers. When my dad was home, I was always getting in trouble, even when I didn’t do anything. I couldn’t understand why all of this was happening to me. I would sit up at night and ask God why He was doing this to me, and what I did to deserve it, but never got an answer.

By the time I was 13, I hated life. I thought that I had nothing to live for and nothing to believe in, since I didn’t believe in God any more. I figured He was something your parents made up to get you up early and to dress nice on Sundays. I didn’t even care whether I lived or died. I started rebelling big time. I would party with people twice my age. I started experimenting with drugs and alcohol, trying to fill this hole that everything in my life had left. After a while I realized that nothing was working anymore. I started thinking about suicide and decided to end it all.

I wasn’t scared or anything. As I was getting ready do it, our phone rang, and it was my mom! She called to tell that she was getting off early and wanted to do something with me. I was so shocked that I put the gun away. I didn’t even think about suicide again until several months later.

Then one day I was in math class, consumed with thoughts of suicide, when I heard the voice of the girl next to me. It was my friend Courtney Christian, and she was asking me if I wanted to go to church. At first I didn’t think that she was talking to me. I looked up from my desk, and she was looking straight at me. Then she asked me again. I didn’t want to be mean and tell her no right away because she seemed to have her hopes up, so I told her that I would have to ask my mom. I didn’t think my mom would let me, so I told Courtney that I would call Mom at lunch and ask. When I called her, she thought that I was joking and said, “Yes.”

I happened to run into Courtney on my way back to class and told her what my mom had said, so she gave me her phone number. I really didn’t plan on calling her, but my mom wouldn’t let me get out of it. So I called Courtney and went to church with her that night.

When I first got to her church, I saw a bunch of people in a circle yelling a bunch of stuff. I asked Courtney if they were all trying to say the same thing. She laughed and said that they were praying. All I could think was that there are places for people like this!

About ten minutes into the service, I realized it wasn’t all that bad. I didn’t know any of the songs, but I was having a good time. Then the youth pastor started talking about the life of an unsaved teen. I thought he was talking about me. I thought, “How could he know all this stuff about me, and why is he picking on me?”

Then he started talking about what happens to these people when they die, and I got really scared. I didn’t want to end up like those kids. That’s when I realized that I had some changes to make.

After that I kept coming back, and before I knew it, I was making friends. Then, one Sunday night there was a message in tongues. I broke down. I felt so faint from crying so hard all I could do was fall to my knees. This made me cry even harder. I cried over everything I had ever done. I started to feel all of these hands on me. It freaked me out a little. Then I heard Courtney telling me that it would be okay. She told me to keep seeking. So I did.

I felt my tongue do funny things, and I couldn’t stop it. When I sat up, there were all of these people around me and one of them asked me how I felt. All I could think to say was, “Like, I have an audience.”

On the ride home we talked about baptism, and I decided that was what I wanted. I got baptized on May 3, 2003, and it has changed my life forever.

I can honestly say that it was a major step that I didn’t think I would ever take, but I think that it was the best choice I ever made. There are times when I question if what I have done is really right, but then I think back to the way my life was and I know the answer.

I know that life will never be perfect, but now I have a reason to keep fighting!

ninetyandnine.com

© 2004, Amy Potter

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Amy Potter lives in the St. Louis metropolitan area.