9.30.2004

I Can't Believe My Mother Let Me Read This Stuff!

Through the years, from kindergarten on, I gained intimate knowledge of all but one of the items listed here. My goodness, I had no idea I was such a criminal!

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I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.

Thou Shalt Not Throw Thine Underwear Off the Stage And Other Rules for the President

The last article excerpt came from the 1940s. This article, believe it or not, is as up to the minute as can be:

  • "Once a debate is concluded, candidates shall be permitted to toss articles of clothing, excepting underwear, into the audience for keepsake purposes." (John Kerry's argyle socks, anyone?)
  • "The following terms are specifically forbidden and may not be used until after each debate is formally concluded: "girlie-man," "draft dodger," "Jesus freak" . . . (How come the words "never-ending chin" and "Is that a toupee?" aren't on the list?)
  • "In the event that either candidate utters [the word Vietnam] in the course of a debate, the debate shall be concluded immediately and declared forfeit to the third-party candidate." (Awright, Ralphie! If Dubya ain't as good at resisting temptation as he says he is, then you've got a chance!)

Yes, it's the Presidential Debate Rules List, and it'll crack you up!

Special thanks to Celebrity Editor Kent for the link.

Questions, comments, concerns?
E-mail them to
wscoggins@ninetyandnine.com.
I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.


9.27.2004

This Is For All You Working Women Out There!

11 tips on getting more efficiency out of women employees*

1. Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sister, they’re less likely to be flirtatious, and they need the work or they wouldn’t be doing it. However, they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.

2. When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It’s always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.

3. General experience indicates that “husky” girls – those who are just a little on the heavy side – are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.

4. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination – one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.

5. Stress at the onset the importance of time – the fact that a minute or two lost here and there makes serious inroads on schedules. Until this point is gotten across, service is likely to be slowed up.

6. Give the female employee a definite daylong schedule of duties so that they’ll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Numerous properties say that women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them, but that they lack initiative in finding work themselves.

7. Whenever possible, let the inside employee change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be less nervous and happier with change.

8. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and it’s more efficient if she can keep her hair neat, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.

9. Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive, they can’t shrug off harsh words the way men do. Never ridicule a woman – it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.

10. Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl’s husband or father may swear vociferously, she’ll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.

11. Get enough size variety in operators uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can’t be stressed too strongly as a means of keeping women happy.

*This excerpt is from the July 1943 issue of Mass Transportation. It was written for male supervisors of women in the work force at Western Properties during World War II. Boy, aren't you glad we don't live in the 40s anymore?

Questions, comments, concerns?
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I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.

More from Red Moon Rising

I hope you're not tired of reading about Red Moon Rising again, because I'm certainly not tired of writing about it. I'm determined to influence at least one person to read this book and confirm that my amazement isn't unfounded, so if you will write me and say, "Okay, I read it! Are you happy now?" then I will shut up about it.

Before I begin, I must redress one thing I failed to point out earlier. This book is co-authored by Pete Greig and Dave Roberts. I apologize for stating Pete as this book’s only author. Dave’s influence on this book is impossible to detect, quite likely due to his incredible skill of helping to direct a book without taking over it completely.

Having said that, I must confess that I am frustrated by my lack of ability to do this book any justice. So for today, I’d like to retreat into the background and share some of my favorite quotes from the book. At times, I more skillfully borrow ideas than blog my own, don’t I? However, my position is that it’s okay to back away from giving my opinion all the time when there are other, more worthy options out there. So here is Red Moon Rising on:

The "emerging culture" and the role the Church must play:
"The challenges for the Church at such a time are profound. A generation that finds itself in the crux of such a change has a significant responsibility for shaping the new ways of thinking that will define its own age but also that of the coming era. When Christians get it right at such times, adapting themselves to the changing culture and finding new language for timeless truths, the Gospel spreads more easily for years to come because it makes sense to people. However, when the Church gets it wrong by resisting change and enshrining nostalgia, we risk apparent irrelevance and an upward struggle."

Giving flowers to prostitutes:
"We knew that Jesus would have done more than buy flowers. He made friends with prostitutes. He sat and ate with them and allowed one to massage his feet. He listened and dared to love in spite of what people would think. Giving them dignity, he refused to condemn them for their sin and even wrote their names in the very scriptures . . . Today in Dubi, God had unexpectedly spoken about justice and compassion, about the fact that intercession is impossible until we allow the things that break God’s heart to break our hearts as well." (See Isaiah 58:10 and Amos 5:21-24)

Part of The Vision:
"A million times a day its soldiers chose to lose that they might one day win the great ‘Well done’ of faithful sons and daughters.
This is the sound of the underground, the whisper of history in the making, foundations shaking, revolutionaries dreaming once again.
Watching. Waiting. 24-7-365. Whatever it takes they will give: breaking the rules, shaking mediocrity from its cozy little hide,
Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs, laughing at labels, fasting essentials. The advertisers cannot mold them. Hollywood cannot hold them.
With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days, they pray as if it all depends on God and live as if it all depends on them.
Don’t you hear them coming? Herald the weirdos! Summon the losers and the freaks! Here come the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes.
My tomorrow is His today. My distant hope is His 3-D. And my feeble, whispered faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking great 'Amen!' from countless angels, from heroes of the faith, from Christ Himself.
And He is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner. Guaranteed."
(See Isaiah 62)


Find out more about the book, including where to buy, here.
Read rave reviews here and here.
Find out more about 24/7 prayer at www.24-7prayer.com
Already read this book? E-mail me and tell me what you thought about it!

Questions, comments, concerns?
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wscoggins@ninetyandnine.com.
I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.

9.23.2004

Red Moon Rising: A Must-Read Book

Remember this post? I promised to discuss the book itself in more detail, so let’s do that!

You’ll notice that the quotes about prayer from author Pete Greig sound almost poetic, but this book includes a dizzying contrast of styles. One minute Greig writes breathtakingly beautiful words about loving and serving God, the next he’s describing accounts of long-haired rockers yelling in tongues and evangelistic teens break dancing at beach parties. One chapter found me weeping and praying; the following chapter had my eyebrows shooting up into my hairline.

Red Moon Rising: How 24-7 Prayer is Awakening a Generation is the story of Pete Greig, the man credited with founding the 24/7 prayer movement that began in Chichester, England and swept across Europe, into the U.S. and took hold all over the world.


The premise: is simple -- a bunch of young people coming together and pledging to pray one hour a day in a certain place, eventually blanketing entire weeks and months with on-going prayer.
The impact: was powerful -- more powerful than anyone could have ever imagined. Red Moon Rising is an epic journey of a modern-day grass roots renewal of prayer and faith in its simplest and finest form accompanied by the subsequent passion, pain, sacrifice and incredible blessing.

While reading this book, I found myself weeping at the mediocrity with which I am so often satisfied in my life. If you’re like me and want to make a difference but don’t really know where to start, this book is for you. If you’re looking for ideas to revive a flagging youth group or simply need more inspiration to pray like you never have before, then this book is also for you.

To be continued . . .


Find out more about the book, including where to buy, here.
Read rave reviews here and here.
Find out more about 24/7 prayer at www.24-7prayer.com
Already read this book? E-mail me and tell me what you thought about it!

Questions, comments, concerns?
E-mail them to
wscoggins@ninetyandnine.com.
I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.

9.22.2004

First, a Blog. Now, a Book!

It seems like everyone is writing a book these days. Whether you have something to say or not, if you're a celebrity (especially an uninhibited and unapologetic one) you can find someone willing to publish every thought you've ever conceived. Consider the latest lit from such infamous notables as:

Former President Clinton. Ironic considering that old quote by Ronald Reagan, "Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards; if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book."

Pamela Anderson. Why do people feel the need to write about their careers once they’re over with? Don’t the words overkill and has-been ever occur to these people?

Paris Hilton. My first thought before perusing her book was that Paris needs to stick to posing for photographs and quit trying pretend she's in the same league as people with brain cells. However, believe it or not, Paris actually had some practical, easy-to-use advice to pass along: "Be born with perfect skin to millionaire parents, hire a bodyguard, wear lots of pink, and use men for accessories."

So now I'm thinking if all those people can write a book, then I can too. I figure the same people who buy their books will be too idiotic to realize they’ve never heard of me if I just make the dust jacket exciting enough. I can visualize it already . . .

After twenty three years, Wendy finally breaks the silence! In this tell-it-all, no-holds barred account of hedonism at its zenith, Wendy reveals . . .
  • Her family's unrestrained, excessive abuse of teriyaki sauce! "My parents put it on everything," she admits!
  • Two paragraphs of nothing but the most graphic, shocking details of every one of her love affairs! "Sock sizes and all," she promises!
  • The traumatic death of Shedrick, her childhood hamster, and the lingering impact she still feels to this day! "My brother cried, my dad sang 'When That Long Line Forms' and I wrote, 'Poor ole Shed. He is dead. Joshua dropped him on his head' on the cardboard tombstone," she sobs!
  • The real reason why she always covers up that fantastic bod of hers. "Too many moles," she confesses!
  • Why she always runs stop signs. "They're for tourists," she protests!
  • Her biggest turn-ons: "Pretty feet, muddy trucks, and Democratic political candidates!"

Plus, see exclusive, never-seen-before photos exposing her elbows, knees, and even toe cleavage!

All for only $24.95! Get yours today!

Throw a scantily-clad photo of me wearing an ankle length dress on the front cover and bam! I will be right up there with Hemingway, Shakespeare, and Kelley. Hey, if it worked for Paris, why not me?

Questions, comments, concerns?
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wscoggins@ninetyandnine.com.
I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.




9.20.2004

Chocolate, Laughter and Other Important Issues on the Job

I used to have a small candy jar on my desk at work. I did, that is, until Blonde Moment got hired and instantly recognized the modest attraction of my candy jar to the occasional visitor of our office. You have to understand something about Blonde Moment; she never does anything halfway. We now have four gallon sized jars of candy lining the top of our file cabinet.

The biggest jar holds the main attraction: every kind of chocolate candy bar you could ever want. We now get many more visitors to our office. We never have to pick up our own paperwork either; people are eager to use any excuse to drop by, particularly women. Of course, we get lonely in our little corner, so we welcome the company. However, there's just something about the presence of so much chocolate that affects people oddly. For one, it drives the truckers wild, which I'm not sure is a good thing. With women, chocolate has the effect of making them want to vent. I'm finding out that there's nothing like chocolate to get women all revved up to be totally honest.

Of course, we don't mind all these women venting to us, but sometimes it gets a little depressing. Therefore, Blonde Moment and I are discussing ways to make all our venters laugh a little. (Laughter is a huge priority for me; it's the only thing that keeps me from crying sometimes.) One solution we are discussing is to hang up a few signs and switch them around every now then. As a public service to you, my faithful readers, we thought we would make them available for your use as well. With a word processor and a printer, you can easily make these signs your own.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

When you work here, you can name your own salary. I named mine Sally.

It may be your sole purpose in life simply to serve as a warning to others.

When I die, I’d like to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

I live in my own little world, but it’s okay. People know me here.

No one ever says, “It’s only a game,” when their team is winning.

I am a nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I must be perfect.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines!

I have enough money to last me for the rest of my life. Unless I buy something.

Taxation with representation ain’t much fun either!

A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up a thousand times the memory.

To err is human. To forgive is against company policy.

Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.

Instant Human: Just add coffee.

1955 – 1975: 36 Elvis movies. 1976 – 2004: Nothing.

If you run out of sick days, call in dead.

If thine enemy doth offend thee, giveth his child a drum.

Be alert! The world needs more lerts.

If you eat a frog in the morning, nothing as bad will happen to you for the rest of the day.

Questions, comments, concerns?
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wscoggins@ninetyandnine.com.
I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.

9.16.2004

Thursday Evening, and I'm All Alone

Here I sit once again, chained to my desk as Thursday evenings often find me. I am missing the little Snuggle-Umphagus something badly right now. My parents took her up to the camp with them for the rest of the week, and I'd much rather be there than here. To console myself (and also because it was too quiet around here) I've got Joss Stone in the stereo with "Super Duper Love" on repeat. On the plus side, it's a good thing no one is around to hear how this CD is unleashing my inner Aretha. "Yeah!"

I hope you weren't expecting much today. I didn't have enough time on my hands to scrape anything decent together. If you'll forgive me as I dive into leftover pizza and my illustration project, I'll try my best to wow you next week (never mind that I rarely succeed in wowing anyone). Have a great Friday, an even better weekend, and don't forget to pray for our friends in Georgia, Alabama and Florida (again). Peace!

Questions, comments, concerns?
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wscoggins@ninetyandnine.com.
I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.

9.15.2004

Lessons From a Dead Church

In a moving world readaptation is the price of longevity.
--George Santayana

The story of this church personifies the quote above. When you read it, pay special attention to the paragraphs describing the ESL classes the church plans to offer. When a church offers a much-needed service to its community, the benefits beyond attracting new members are unlimited. Not only is it a visible demonstration of the church's love and concern for the individual, but it also builds up respect and admiration in the community itself.

Keep in mind the projected census statistics: by 2050, the population of Texas, California, and other southern states will be approximately 50% Hispanic. What are we doing now to prepare to reach those people? How many of you can speak Spanish? Hablo solo pequito, como muy mal. I'm not in any position to effectively witness to Spanish-speaking people. Are you? An even greater question is: what are we going to do about that?

Is your church offering a unique service to your community? If so, write and tell me about it. I'd love to feature it in my blog!

Questions, comments, concerns?
E-mail them to
wscoggins@ninetyandnine.com.
I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.


"Jesus is My Homeboy" and Other Fashion News

In case you haven’t noticed, Jesus has become, like, so fabulous, especially in the world of fashion. Of course, we cool, young Christian things have been donning religious gear for years. It’s been cool ever since some clever company countered the No Fear brand with the Christian spin-off of Fear Not. However, as this article states, only recently has the fashion industry discovered how cool we were all those years, bringing "Jesus t-shirts" into the mainstream.

One of the viewpoints presented in the article states that Jesus t-shirts cheapen or demean the value of the Christian experience, and you may agree. However, if my daughter is going to follow the trends to a limited degree, I’d rather see her wearing something like that than see her in designer labels from companies using sex to sell its products. I will encourage her, however, to choose garb with slogans more tasteful than "Jesus is My Homeboy." Even so, someone wearing such a t-shirt is likely to get a better reaction from me than someone would in, say, an Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirt:

Reaction to "Jesus is my Homeboy": "Well, at least he’s not ashamed!"
Reaction to Abercrombie & Fitch: "Look, there goes another victim of a slick marketing campaign!"
(I mean no offense to all you A&F wearers; there was a time in my life that I would have worn them too if I could’ve afforded it!)

Not convinced yet? You think the Jesus t-shirt movement is the result of nothing but a slick marketing campaign too? Well, in that case, I guess I’ve just become another statistic. Ka-ching!

Look at it this way: Most fashion followers are quite willing to shell out big bucks to advertise a company name for free. Wouldn't you rather us advertise Jesus than Tommy? Plus, a teenager wearing a Jesus t-shirt today just might be unlikely tomorrow to be offended by prayer in schools, the 10 Commandments in courthouses, and "in God we trust" in their Pledge of Allegiance. That doesn’t sound cheap or demeaning to me!

Elsewhere in the News:
r Nicole C. Mullens’ third album hit stores yesterday. Yay! It’s about time!
r Today is See You at The Pole day. If you attended, write and tell me about it.
r Ladies, if you want to be blown away (by something other than Hurricane Ivan) check out the low prices on shoes at the Burlington Coat Factory. (My fave was the abstract pumps for only $6.99! Wow!)

Questions, comments, concerns?
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wscoggins@ninetyandnine.com.
I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.

9.13.2004

Of Talk Show Kings and Queens

Every now and then, I will want to talk about a friend or acquaintance. In order to prevent them from being subjected to infamy by association, I will give them fictitious names á la The Millennium Girl (a boring read, by the way) like I did with Enchilada in some of my earliest posts. Having said that, allow me to introduce Blonde Moment, my co-worker, so named for her most common phrase: "I’m sorry; I must be having a blonde moment."

Today Blonde Moment and I rearranged some of the furniture in the office we share and stuck the stereo by the window. Like magic we were able to tune in more than static, and quite coincidentally, we happened across a television channel featuring talk shows.

Dr. Phil, to be more exact. Anyone ever heard of him? Apparently it’s the start of a new season, and Dr. Phil’s goal is to change America one city at a time, one family at a time. His first project is the town of Elgin right here in Texas. At the start of the broadcast, one young Elgin girl told of widespread public sex on her high school campus, rampant drug abuse, and gang rape. Adults cited high spikes in divorce rates, domestic violence, and racism – y’know, just your typical small Texas town, except for around here. We also have lots of child molestation and infant abandonment.

Dr. Phil was tough, practical, and quick to get to the root of the problem featured in today’s episode: a middle-class couple steeped in years of her infidelity and his physical abuse. As much as I admire Dr. Phil’s intentions, I didn’t agree with his methods of little but straight talk and counseling. The only time I’ve ever seen lives permanently changed was when God changed the people themselves. Dr. Phil seems to be on a mission to save the world without enlisting very much divine help. I wish him the best of luck, but I don’t have much hope for his endeavor.

Immediately following Dr. Phil, Oprah gave away a brand new car to every member of her audience, all 276 of them. To celebrate her 19th season, she’s granting the wildest dreams of selected viewers, and there’s still time to get in on the action if you want. Blonde Moment, who must think she’s a comedian, said she’s going to write in and see if Oprah will find me a hunk.

"Oh, puh-leeze," I scoffed. "Gimme a break. Let’s talk money or a house, but a hunk is the last thing I need."

I mean, for Pete’s sake, he’d have to at least be an Apostolic hunk . . .

Questions, comments, concerns?
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wscoggins@ninetyandnine.com.
I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.

9.12.2004

Question: What is Our Most Overlooked and Under-Utilized Resource?

Answer: Prayer! (You knew that, didn't you?) Is there such a thing as too much prayer? I don't think anyone's ever prayed enough to find out! Every now and then I will post some things I come across that encourage me to pray because God knows I sure don't do it enough.

With that in mind, I'd like to give you two amazing quotes from an incredible book I just completed entitled Red Moon Rising: How 24-7 Prayer is Awakening a Generation by Pete Grieg and Dave Roberts (Oddly, that's the title on my copy; on the the website it's 27-7 Prayer and the Coming Spiritual Awakening. Either work, if you ask me.)

Expect to hear more from me about this book; in the meantime, you'll find it well worth your time to read some of what Pete has to say about prayer (and prayer rooms):

"A prayer room is not some giant spiritual vending machine: Just put in enough money and you’re guaranteed a can of Coke. A prayer room is first and foremost a living room – a place where the Father waits for his children to come and climb into His loving arms. It’s a place where we can experience peace so that we can make peace later; a place where we can accept forgiveness so that we can live our lives as priests at work; a place where we receive our Father’s acceptance so that we can love even those who laugh at us later in the day."

"Prayer brings incredible answers to deep needs. It can lead to genuine breakthroughs in calling people, villages and cities back to God. But the most important thing that any prayer, or prayer room, from Alaska to Australia can provide is a place where people can be alone with their eternal Father, a place where you and I can study His features, find comfort in His love, learn to recognize His quiet voice, seek His advice, and pour out our childish hearts to Him. In the prayer room, we pick up God’s mannerisms; we grow in His likeness. We actually become the answer to many of our prayers. And of course that’s the greatest miracle of all." (Emphasis mine; I especially liked that sentence.)

Questions, comments, concerns?
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wscoggins@ninetyandnine.com.
I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.

9.11.2004

Politics Schmolitics

Y'know, sometimes it puzzles me why I'm not more interested in politics. I mean, if I had the choice to read an article about Bush's Foreign Policy or toilet paper, I'd probably read about toilet paper. (Mainly out of curiosity, I think. What could a whole article about toilet paper possibly say?)

In fact, the main political commentary I'm getting these days comes from Southampton, because he does such a good job of skewering the Democrats. I sometimes take very un-Christian glee in seeing some unworthy institution get skewered -- unless the unworthy institution is me, of course. Plus, I just like that word: skewer. Skewer, skewered, skewering. Heh.

Yes, considering how I used to devour books like The Three Musketeers, The Man in the Iron Mask and Mary, Queen of Scots because all the court plotting and intrigue gave me thrills and chills, I find it kind of surprising how much politics, ahem, for the most part, well, they bore me. There, I admitted it! (Please don't hate me, Phillip!)

Having said that, I nevertheless found this article about politics very interesting. I suspect the author might've peeked into my own mind (no telling what he saw) and wrote this article using my borrowed thoughts. However, it turned out great, of course. So go read it already!

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wscoggins@ninetyandnine.com.
I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.

9/11

Today, this blog pauses for a moment of seriousness to pay homage to our fallen friends, Americans, and countrymen and women.

It could've been you. It could've been me. God, thank you that it wasn't.

It could one day be you. It could one day be me. God, prepare our hearts for the possibility.

Then, if you choose to, go reflect.

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wscoggins@ninetyandnine.com.
I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.

9.9.2004

Wendy the Dictator (Sorta)

I'm not a Bible scholar, but the book of Isaiah is prophetical, right? For both the days of the ancient Hebrews and now? It's obvious 3:5

. . . "the youth will act arrogantly toward the elder, and the worthless toward the honorable." HCSB

has been happening for years, but what about 3:4

"I will make youths their leaders, and the unstable will govern them." HCSB

and 3:12?

"Youths oppress My people, and women rule over them . . ." HCSB

Have these scriptures come to pass or not? You tell me!

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wscoggins@ninetyandnine.com.
I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.

Does Your Holiness Standard Do This?

I often hear our holiness standard compared to a military uniform (unity, identification, etc.). Keep that analogy in mind when reading this quote by Austrian-Jewish novelist Hermann Brochdard: "A uniform provides its wearer with a definitive line of demarcation between his person and the world … [C]losed up in his hard casing, braced in with straps and belts, he begins to forget his own undergarments and the uncertainty of life."

Hmmmm . . .

Read the entire article analyzing the latest army uniforms here, which includes (at no extra cost) a short history of the American uniform.

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wscoggins@ninetyandnine.com.
I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.

9.8.2004

My Dad is My Hero

On our way home from church last night, my parents and I came across something we don’t see every day (or night, rather): A Jeep was stalled on the other side of the intersection, right where we needed to go. Not only that, but it was stalled on an incline leading up to railroad tracks. A lone man was trying to push it up and over but, needless to say, nothing was happening.

A red light prevented us from crossing the intersection, so we sat there discussing alternate routes. “Just go help him push, Dad!” I urged. “You’ll be my hero!”

My dad was reluctant to be my hero. “I’m an old man,” he protested. “I’d throw my back out.”

“Oh, honey,” said my mom. “Just go offer to help. It’d be worth a try, just to be Wendy’s hero.”

The light turned green. Cautiously my dad crossed the intersection, veered into oncoming lane, passed up the Jeep and parked on the side of the road just ahead. In less than five minutes, the good deed was done and another truck showed up for towing duty.

The two guys in the Jeep turned out to be a couple of Hispanics, so not only was my dad a good Samaritan who saved the day (or night, rather), but he also played a small yet significant part of spreading goodwill and unity among the races of man. I bet you had no idea you were accomplishing all that with just a few grunts and shoves, huh Dad? (It’s a good thing I’m around to point out these things.)

Way to go, Dad!

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9.7.2004

Read This With a Heavy Dose of Sarcasm

First it was violence, then it was obesity, and after that it was attention disorders. Now you can add sexual activity to the list of bad behaviors increased by watching television. I'm assuming, because of the similarities between television shows and movies, that watching videos can also be included as a contributing factor.

What a relief it is to know, however, that Apostolic parents diligently screen the viewing material of their children and properly educate their teenagers on how to screen their own viewing material! And also that those teenagers are spiritual enough to actually do it! It's good to know that the future of the Apostolic church has never been -- nor will they ever be -- affected by such damaging messages.

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I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.

9.6.2004

The Son of a Pentecostal Minister

So Scott Stapp finally admitted it . . . which leaves me wondering, is he going to be Pentecostal again?

Clarification: One eagle-eyed reader wondered about the discrepancy between the title of this blog and the dad Scott mentions in the article as being a dentist. Actually, the Pentecostal minster, who raised Scott, is his step-dad. All you die-hard Creed fans will know this already; the rest of you might not.

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9.5.2004

Television, Television, Television

With all the debate going on, you know I just have to weigh in with my opinion!

Last year right before Thanksgiving, I snagged my music-loving cousin and hot-footed it up Beltway 8 to Sugarland for HERO! The Rock Opera. HERO! is a modern-day retelling of the story of Christ set in New York City and starring Michael Tait (of DC Talk) as Jesus and other Christian music artists as various Biblical characters.

I expected -- and received -- a night of great music and clean, rather than spiritual, entertainment. During the course of the night one thing really resonated with me. Behind the actors, huge television screens flashed images to accompany the story enacted on stage. Many of these images were newspaper headline after newspaper headline, television news story after television news story. Jesus was all over the media.

It wasn't until later that I read the late Jim Yohe's August 2002 Manifest and was able to put a finger on what I found so significant about Jesus and the Media: If the Apostolic church were truly operating as it should, we wouldn't be debating whether or not to be on TV; we'd be on it already, as the news. Yohe said, "Forget about producing television programs, God intends for his people to be the daily newscast!"

His statement makes sense, if you think about it. There was very little on this earth Jesus did that the Holy Ghost power cannot also do through us. And there are a lot more of us now than there were 2000 years ago. Unfortunately, I think (although I hope not) that most of you live like me: I don't operate with enough Holy Ghost power to even make my pastor take notice, much less a television news station.

Not that recognition should be our goal. And that also doesn't mean that if we aren't recognized, we aren't doing our job right. Still, it's something to think about.

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wscoggins@ninetyandnine.com.
I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.

I Couldn't Help It

Sorry, but I just had to do this!



Photo credits Cheryl Fowler 2004

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wscoggins@ninetyandnine.com.
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9.2.2004

Odd People, Part II

Today, I’m so excited to have a very honored guest in the JALBO Studio with me: Chunkadee, a very special friend of mine. Chunkadee, welcome to Just a Little Bit Odd.

Chunkadee: Thanks! Wonderful to be here. You know, I always knew you were destined to be odd.

Me: Oh, no doubt. Now Chunkadee, why don’t you tell my readers who you are.

C: Well, I’m the imaginary friend you had when you were two.

Me: That’s right. So, Chunk, what’ve you been doing for the past 21+ years?

C: Well, I’ve been hanging out in the recesses of your memory, of course. You know, there’s some really strange things floating around up there.

Me: Yes, well, we’re not really here to discuss any of that –

C: What you did in front of that vanload of kids at camp meeting back in ‘92? That’s still cracking me up!

Me: Chunk, I was twelve. I don’t think I can be held responsible for –

C: Was that before or after the policeman drove up?

Me: Chunkadee, we’re really here to talk about our friendship way back when. Do you remember those days?

C: Of course! You were a lot cuter back then.

Me. Thanks.

C: Anytime! Anyway, my fondest memories are of the meetings we had, especially the ones with John and Pete.

Me: Oh, yes. The meetings. I was career woman from the start, wasn’t I?

C: Actually, I think you just liked bossing people around.

Me: So, um, how are John and Pete these days?

C: Well, John achieved his life’s goal of becoming a bathroom. But Pete . . . well, what happened to Pete was tragic.

Me: Oh no! What happened?

C: Well, he finally went skydiving for the first time last year. In Malaysia. You know, Pete always was the exotic type.

Me: Uh-huh. And?

C: There was a flaw in his parachute, and well, let’s just say when the cannibals found him, they proclaimed him the best Split Pete Soup they’d ever had.

Me: How awful! Well, Chunk, we’re out of time. Thanks so much for stopping by.

C: It was a thrill. Listen, I’m going up the tear duct route this time. I came down out of your nostrils, but your nose is so big I got lost in there and wandered around for hours.

Me: Uh, fine. Bye now!

Questions, comments, concerns?
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wscoggins@ninetyandnine.com.
I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.

9.1.2004

Something Odd

Whew! I don't know about you, but all the bad news is hitting me particularly hard today. My Floridian friends and classmates being threatened by a double whammy . . . those poor little hostages in Russia . . . we have a lot to pray about, folks! Then again, how is that different from any other day?

If the day's got you down too (or even if it doesn't), give your face thirty seconds to smile and go see if you can relate to today's promised post. I know I sure feel like a kiss sometimes!

Tomorrow: The Legacy of Chunkadee

Questions, comments, concerns?
E-mail them to
wscoggins@ninetyandnine.com.
I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.