The Time Has Come For Us to Part . . .
There comes a time in the life of every blogger when she must say good-bye.
For a little while anyway. That's right, I'm taking a short vacation to travel to the great state of Indy for my best friend's wedding, and that includes a break from the blog as well.
However, you won't be left all alone. I've arranged for Shana Blunt of if only it were fiction to baby-sit the blog this week, and Jody Becker of The Bandwagon to write for you starting next Tuesday.
Maybe you can even send out for pizza while I'm gone. No matter what you do, I'm certain you'll be in good hands during my absence, and that you all will have a ton of fun.
I'll miss you!
Questions, comments, concerns? E-mail me! I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.
"There's a Reason Paul Didn't Preach in Outhouses": More Thoughts About Apostolics on the Web
A couple of months ago, Kent of ninetyandnine.com sent around some questions he was planning to use for an e-panel on Apostolic web ministries and asked for suggestions. I took an hour and fired off passionate responses to his questions -- only to receive a reply from Kent that he intended for us to make suggestions about the questions themselves, not answer them. Boy, was I a little embarassed!
Where are the Apostolics? On the Dearth of Apostolic Web Ministries—A 90&9 Web Panel has been finally published, and it makes for interesting reading. Despite the high quality -- in my opinion -- of my unsolicited answers, Kent elected not to publish them. Therefore I decided to make them available to you on my blog instead.
90&9: Why are there so few Apostolic web ministries today?
It’s hard to know for sure, so all I can do is offer my opinions. I believe that because of the traditional stance against television, people (and pastors especially) tend to be a little cautious or perhaps even fearful of "new" types of technology. That's to be commended, because you can never be too cautious. However, because we fear the evils of the Internet, we are missing out on all the potential good to be gained from the Internet as well.
90&9: What would you advise someone contemplating a web ministry to do to be successful?
This is an area I'm still not too certain about, but I think the core principles of success center on solid, relevant information communicated in a solid, relevant fashion. I believe that what you say is just as important as how you say it. For instance, you could be telling someone the truth but saying it in such a hateful way that people will not be willing to listen.
For example, I tend to be turned off by websites that use ALL CAPS to communicate IMPORTANT points, because I prefer a more gentle approach. (All caps in Internet communication is also associated with shouting, and I don't like to be hollered at outside of church.)
I tend to be more easily persuaded by a wise tone of voice that conveys information with clarity. I also appreciate websites that examine both sides of an argument before coming to a conclusion either way. I'm more likely to put stock in the conclusions of someone who is obviously aware of all the issues involved. You don't get that much with Apostolic websites (www.onenesspentecostal.com being a great exception.) With most Apostolic websites I visit, only one viewpoint is presented. If another is presented at all, it's with derision towards those who hold it, accusing them of not wanting to be holy, et al, which may be true but doesn't build the credibility of our cause in the long run. An "our way or the highway" attitude that pervades much of Apostolic preaching does not translate well onto the web. I think we definitely need to keep these things in mind if we want to reach out to non-A/Ps.
90&9: To your mind, what percentage of current Apostolic web ministries are “by Apostolics for Apostolics” with little entry for non-Apostolics/believers? Would you define that as a successful ministry?
Most of the ones I read (and there aren't many; maybe three or four?) are geared towards A/Ps mostly, although non-A/Ps are always made welcome. However, I'm not in the habit of visiting Baptist resource sites, or Catholic resource sites, etc. (although I might read the blog of one) unless I'm interested in finding out their doctrine so I can deconstruct it from a scriptural perspective. So, you could say that A/Ps writing for A/Ps will not be very effective in reaching non-A/Ps en masse.
However, I would not go so far as to say that such sites are not ministries. I believe there are basically two types of ministry: front-end/evangelistic ministries (reaching and saving the lost) and maintenance ministries (keeping them saved and growing). So you could say that A/Ps reaching out to other A/Ps is maintenance ministry, which is vitally important. However, for the most part they are not evangelistic.
90&9: What would it take for more Apostolics to catch the web ministry vision?
Two things: What group of people in our organizations most hinder the growth of Apostolics on the web? With plenty of exceptions in mind, I have to say that it has been my experience that the older folks and older pastors are against it. Some even preach against its use or heavily discourage it. This is not in itself a bad thing, as older folks simply tend to be more conservative on all issues, whether it concerns what they eat, where they go, or what kinds of new technologies they use. However, you will not find many younger people (teens, 20s, 30s, and some 40s) having a huge problem with the Internet. In fact, my daughter's generation will grow up being raised on it. So, as the older folks eventually die off (and we are not looking forward to those days), and their leadership is replaced by those of my generation, you will see more and more A/Ps get on the web. Please don't take that as a slam against older people, because we need their wisdom desperately as well as the balance they bring to our churches. But as racial prejudice decreases with every new generation, so too will prejudice against the Internet.
Second thing: Apostolic doctrine is being hindered and possibly even harmed by our lack of presence on the Internet. I think once more people realize this, they will be more willing to get on the bandwagon. If the Internet is way the people of our time and even more in the future chose to communicate, we are not wise to resist that. We have to choose whatever method of communication the world uses in order to reach them. There's a reason why Paul didn't preach in outhouses. He went to where the people were. In his case, that happened to be places like Mars Hill, where the great philosophies of the day were discussed.
I have jaunted around the Internet many times in search of Apostolic doctrine. Sadly, for every great nugget I find, I find ten other websites bashing A/P beliefs -- with lots of scriptures and seemingly good arguments to back those viewpoints up. People post all these Bible studies against our doctrine on the web for free, yet we A/Ps are still writing books people must pay for in order to learn about them. That's not saying books don't have their place; they certainly do, but our definite lack of accessibility is hurting us, especially in the face of an ever-growing voice of opposition. We will never change peoples' minds by remaining silent. With the growing acceptance of speaking in tongues and the growing dissatisfaction with churches that lack the spirit of God, the harvest is ripe for our message. However, if we aren't willing to do the work of the reapers, others will enjoy the fruits of the harvest.
90&9: Is there anything you’d like to add that wasn’t asked?
I'm very optimistic about A/P believers today, especially because of reading ninetyandnine.com. We A/Ps may not be very vocal on the web as of yet, but ninetyandnine.com is proof that it isn't because we aren't as smart or gifted or otherwise qualified to be.
However, a word of warning and caution. The world is changing, and so is Christianity's methodology in response to that change. If we are not on the forefront influencing that change in a positive way, choosing rather to cling to the status quo, we will have no influence on the church of tomorrow, on the way Christianity will finally look once the paradigm shift is completed. We will be the Jewish church in response to Christianity or the Catholic church in response to Protestant reformation -- largely irrevelant and ineffective. We A/Ps have a lot of catching up to do in such a very short amount of time.
Questions, comments, concerns? E-mail me! I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.
Holiday Weekend
I will also leave in the midst of thee an afflicted and poor people, and they shall trust in the name of the Lord. (Zephaniah 3:12)
Law Breaking Sheep
That was a scripture read to me this weekend by a ten year old kid when I went down to Galveston Island this weekend to assist with a homeless ministry. In the faces of the tired, the dirty, the poor, the sick, the jolly, the friendly, the scary, and the crazy, it was hard to tell who, if any, trusted in the name of the Lord. Yet there I was with several others, passing out bags of food in downtown Galveston because we are sheep -- or at least, we're trying to be.
Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. (Matthew 25:34-40)
Ever since I wrote my State of the Blogger address, telling you that God was leading me out of my church for something only He knows what, my life has been an often confusing, often exciting journey of searching for truth and connecting with others who are also on that journey. I've been in contact, via e-mail, with some people who do both street ministries and gather in home churches; thus, I received an invitation to join some of them in Galveston to participate in their ministry to the homeless people.
Strangely enough, what we did this weekend is illegal in Galveston. Apparently the powers that be don't want people who come to the island to party or to board cruise ships to see the homeless people cluttering up the city. They'd rather jail them or ship them off the island, so they are rather indignant about people helping to sustain them. We could've been arrested for simply passing out bags of food on the street corner, but the morning was uneventful, much to my slight disappointment. I've never been arrested or persecuted before.
An Apostolic in an Evangelical Choir
I received an invitation to attend an evangelical on Sunday morning, and since I had no other plans, I figured I might as well. Plus, I've never been to that type of church before, so I thought that if I wanted a complete religious education, I should visit at least once. As far as I know, there isn't an Apostolic or UPC church on the island anywhere. I have to say, they were some very friendly people. Everyone I met, for some strange reason, urged me to sing in the choir that morning. That was a new one for me -- a non-church member singing in the choir on her first visit? I've never heard of that before!
After so much urging, I decided to be a good sport and joined them in choir practice. It soon became apparent why the people were so desperate for another choir member -- there were only three other ladies and five men! When we entered the sanctuary, I saw why the choir was so small. The church -- despite its large physical size and breathtaking beauty -- was sparsely populated by only a handful of people, most of them gray-haired.
The formality, the stillness, and the tranquility of the service was quite different from the loud and rowdy Apostolic services I'm used to. During the service, no one lifted their hands in prayer, no one clapped, no one prayed out loud. The difference was a little disconcerting, and to be honest, I definitely like our way of doing church better, although I'm sure there are some evangelicals who would disagree.
Eat a Hot Dog for Me
Despite a whirlwind weekend, I don't have anything planned for Memorial Day except sticking my nose back in the homework grindstone. So someone eat a hamburger or hot dog for me, why don'cha, and be thankful for the abundance of food that you have, a roof over your head, and the fact that you're Apostolic!
Questions, comments, concerns? E-mail me! I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.
Holiday Plans
Just got back from a night and day on the lovely isle of Galveston, Texas. More details forthcoming as soon as I get more time!
Questions, comments, concerns? E-mail me! I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.
Brief Commentary on Current Events
Having never been a Catholic, I can’t really claim to speak for them. However, if I were Catholic, I’d be screaming for the pope to do something about this. “These guys are making The Church look really bad!” my scathing letter would say. “C’mon man, do something! This isn’t the 1400’s anymore, ya know!”
Rock-n-roll, art, aesthetics and the pope . . . this is an article for the cultured sophisticate in everyone.
Ladies, do not let this article fall into the hands of your son/husband/boyfriend/whatever. Or else, the next thing you know, you’ll be hearing, “No I can’t come help you with the dishes, honey! Can’t you see I’m really busy in here trying to jack up my IQ?”
Yay, I’m a statistic! Among the four percent, it seems . . . Yay, I’m a minority!
I can’t decide if my favorite is this one or this one. On the other hand, this one is pretty good too . . . And how could I leave this one out? Hmmm . . . decisions, decisions. What are your favorites?
Questions, comments, concerns? E-mail me! I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.
Repenting in Sackcloth & Ashes (Provided both are carried at Wal-Mart)
Shortly after I wrote my State of the Blogger address, the “braintrust” (to quote Bradley) of ninetyandnine.com suggested I should pray about finding a mentor. Well, prayers were offered up and shortly thereafter a mentor appeared in my inbox. (Well, not literally, but you know what I mean.)
I now know the pleasure of getting raked over the coals quite frequently (hence the reference to the ashes, get it?). My mentor is quite fair and always gentle, but relentless nonetheless. I can’t get away with anything anymore, which means I didn’t get away with my post about the Apostolic Pastor and the Good Ole Boy. He wrote to comment that I’m a "teensy bit cynical" and also to remind me that there’s always two sides to a story. I replied by asking him if he thought I was too harsh, and I figured I should share his response, since (much to my chagrin sometimes) he’s always so right:
My Mentor
“As to your blog, I’m not sure if harsh is the right word. I think it reflects your attitude towards mainline A/P . . . which has soured with your experience with it. I, too, fight against such attitudes in my own heart, trying not to lump all of A/P into one giant mold. I just happen to have seen some of the better parts, so I have a different perspective. I certainly would not want to be identified with someone who preached against . . . trivial (in my opinion) things that people can get caught up in. I do not want to be identified with A/Ps who are rude in restaurants and leave lousy tips, either. I cringe (inwardly) at some of our “large-in-body” people who proclaim a disciplined life and would certainly never go overboard with smoking or drinking, but look like they’re survivors of an all-you-can-eat buffet (there goes my cynicism). So, we fight the battle of the attitudes and cynicism.
“My question would be, on your blog, just what were you trying to accomplish? What message did you want to send out? Was it purposely crafted to provoke people to thought, or was it an expression of how you were feeling? Attitudes come through writing, and cynicism, in small doses can be used effectively. If one gets known for that type of thing, one will lose credibility with their readers, at-large, and have a small following of like-minded cynical readers.”
My Response
“I write blogs like this to disassociate myself from people like that. I'm sure people could read more ulterior motives into the entry, but that is the bottom-line reason. I want people to know that I'm Apostolic, but I'm not Apostolic like that! Sort of like being honest and admitting our weaknesses gives us more credibility in the long run. Of course, I could try to take that to a more personal level and say, "Here's what wrong with Wendy" instead of pointing fingers all the time like I'm perfect.
“This isn't the first blog I've written like this. I can think of at least two more that are similar. I [admit to having] a cynical streak, but I do try to limit it.”
My Mentor
A lot of people would probably identify with you saying you struggle with an attitude in these kinds of things, but you also realize there are a lot of good, A/P pastors and people who are really trying to show Jesus Christ to their unsaved neighbors and friends . . . There are many “unsung heroes” around, but who wants to hear about an apostolic pastor who helped an elderly person put on his socks because he couldn’t do it for himself? Or the A/P pastor who has never owned a house because he hasn’t had enough money to afford one? His wife works, and they raised their children in apartments. Or the A/P pastor who carried someone’s groceries in the rain for them? How about the A/P pastor who put thousands of his own dollars, from a lifetime of investments into a struggling Home Missions work that he pastors? By the way, none of this was me — I simply bring you some illustrations. The A/P pastor who had a son born with Down’s Syndrome that died around a year later in the arms of his mother. They lived in a pit of an apartment in the basement of the church. The A/P pastor who stayed in a scuzzy Econo Lodge hotel at a UPC General Conference? And on and on and on . . . There are probably [even] some like this in “your neck of the woods.”
Your Blogger Again (Who is By This Time Feeling About Two Inches Tall)
This would probably be a good time to point the finger of self-examination at myself, but this blog has gone on long enough . . . whew! Saved by the necessity of brevity! Perhaps that’ll come later. Still, I found his thoughts worthy of sharing. Thank God for people who aren’t afraid to tell you like it is!
Questions, comments, concerns? E-mail me! I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.
Attention: Check Out Some New Bloggers
Jody of The Bandwagon is hosting the New Blogger's Showcase this week. Be sure to check it out; there are some really interesting entries over there. Jody also included lots of good information about blogging that new bloggers and more experienced bloggers alike will want to check into.
New bloggers -- it still isn't too late to get in on next week's showcase. Follow the links for more information.
Questions, comments, concerns? E-mail me! I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.
The Apostolic Pastor and the Good Ole Boy
One of my co-workers, now officially dubbed Beer Drinkin’ Good Ole Boy, lives next door to one of our local Apostolic pastors. That’s right, Apostolic Pastor and Good Ole Boy are neighbors, and from the way Good Ole Boys talks, neither of them seems to care much for the other.
Being an Apostolic myself, I can certainly relate to poor Apostolic Pastor. (My family has certainly had our share of sinful neighbors, and we can’t decide who was worse, Git Down Brown, The Three Bohemians, or our current neighbor, the guy who perpetually runs his diesel truck motor while we’re trying to take our Sunday afternoon naps.) After all, we Apostolics can’t allow ourselves to be friendly with our beer-drinkin’, keg-partyin’, hairy-legged, shorts-wearin’, curse word-shoutin’ neighbors. Why, that’d be tantamount to approving of their sinful ways!
Okay, okay, I’ll admit it. I’m just a teensy bit embarrassed when Good Ole Boy launches into tales of how the pastor looks in a bathrobe when exiting his hot tub, or the way he kicks people out of his rental property to move in visiting preachers, or how little thanks he gives Good Ole Boy in return for neighborly favors. “His wife is always real nice, though,” Good Ole Boy throws in at the end of his stories. Well, thank goodness for redeeming wives!
I'm just hoping, however, that Apostolic Pastor and Good Ole Boy aren't chatting about me and all my warts over the back fence. It's my job to conduct myself in such a way that Good Ole Boy never gets any goods on me and to make sure he perceives my care and concern for him. Still, I’m betting that when Good Ole Boy makes his bi-yearly trip to church for Christmas and Easter, he won’t be going to his neighbor’s church. Please let this be a reminder to you that keeping yourself unspotted from the world doesn't mean being unfriendly to your neighbors!
Questions, comments, concerns? E-mail me! I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.
Attention: Calling All New Bloggers!
If you've been blogging for three months or less, there are some people on the web who would like to promote you and your blog via the New Bloggers Showcase. Jody over at The Bandwagon is hosting it this week and asked me to help her get submissions. So if you'd be interested in participating go here to get all the information. This is a great way to get more new readers for your blog, so don't miss out on this opportunity!
Questions, comments, concerns? E-mail me! I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.
Contentment
Yesterday morning I awoke to find my baby nestled in my arms, breathing softly as her curls spilled off my shoulders and shined in the morning sun pouring like golden milk into my window. I arrived at work to a day, as always, of few interruptions and lots of peace and quiet in which to shuffle paperwork from one stack to another. At lunch time I drove around enjoying the blue skies and the soothing songs about heaven playing in my CD player. I returned home and spent the first portion of the cool, pre-summer evening on the swing with my baby's head nestled in my lap. After a dinner of grilled hamburgers I spent the evening doing a little bit of Bible study with my baby snuggled up against me. After bathtime we read a story together -- our favorite, Brer Rabbit and Brer Fox, which I read in my deepest southern drawl and made her giggle as I did all the voices of Brer Rabbit, Brer Fox and Brer Bear. Then I tucked her in and scratched her back until her soft breathing told me she was asleep.
After that I woke up this morning to do it all over again. Does it get any better than this? Maybe so, but you'll have a hard time convincing me of that.
Questions, comments, concerns? E-mail me! I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.
More Ammo for the Battle Against Abortion
Is there really a link between breast cancer and abortion? Studies published by the MSM say no, of course, but this article reveals abortion advocates might have concealed some juicy evidence to the contrary -- studies conducted by none other than the World Health Organization (and other respected institutions) that show a strong link between the two. Seems all those so-called "women's health advocates" aren't so worried about women's health after all. I guess they'd rather see them killing babies and losing their hair undergoing chemo. Sad.
Questions, comments, concerns? E-mail me! I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.
The Benefits of the Strict Church
I know a lot of you read MSN’s Slate, so I had to write about one of their recent articles, “The Power of the Mustard Seed: Why Strict Churches are Strong” and find out your opinion of it.
Apparently, author Judith Shulevitz can’t grasp the concept that people live piously because of true spiritual motivation. She contends that there has to be underlying economic factors at work. According to economist Laurence Iannaccone, whom Shulevitz quotes liberally, strict churches weed out the folks with the “weak commitments” giving church members a “rich and textured spiritual experience.”
But that’s not all. Iannaccone elaborates on ways worshippers benefit from strictness. “A church full of passionate members; a community of people deeply involved in one another's lives and more willing than most to come to one another's aid; a peer group of knowledgeable souls who speak the same language (or languages), are moved by the same texts, and cherish the same dreams. Religion is a ‘commodity that people produce collectively.’”
Iannaccone theorizes that people begin to leave strict churches when the “disadvantages of zealotry outweigh the benefits.” So what are the disadvantages of zealotry? Says the article, “Eccentric customs invite ridicule and persecution; membership in a marginal church may limit chances for social and economic advancement; rules of observance bar access to apparently innocent pleasures; the entire undertaking squanders time that could have been spent amusing or improving oneself.”
Hmmm . . . I have to concede that Shulevitz and Iannaccone are probably correct up to a point. That believers attend strict churches for their own benefit will always be true of some believers; however, the two fail to account for the fact that churches with zero economic advantages – namely those with a high amount of persecution – often grow more quickly than churches without it. True believers will always be motivated by a desire to do God’s will – a motivation that doesn’t change when circumstances do.
What do you think? Do Shulevitz and Iannaccone have firm ground to stand on or are they way off base? How do their theories affect us as Apostolics? Write and let me know what you think!
Update: Albert Mohler shares his thoughts on the article here, arguing that conservative churches are growing because of theological reasons rather than socio-economic motivations.
Questions, comments, concerns? E-mail me! I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.
Interesting Tidbits
Finding Jesus on the Internet
This CBN article about Internet evangelism, one of my pet subjects, has some interesting things to say about evangelizing on the Internet:
1. Religion is the second most popular topic on the Internet. (Pornography is first, but you knew that already.)
2. Nearly one billion people – one sixth of the world’s population – use the Internet. That’s how broad your potential audience is, all of whom can be reached from your kitchen table.
How ‘Bout a Little Persecution?
This summer, Underground USA, the teen division of Open Doors USA, a non-profit organization devoted to serving and bringing awareness of persecuted Christians around the world, is sponsoring a Night of Persecution for teens. It’s designed to give them a small taste of what our brothers and sisters around the world face on a daily basis. Interesting stuff; I wouldn’t mind a little of it myself. Check out the article about it here, and get more information about it here.
How to Respond to the “Test Drive” Argument
Have you ever heard that argument from non-Christians that people should “test-drive” their boyfriends/girlfriends before marrying them? A question along those lines was recently put to Marilyn vos Savant, the woman with the highest recorded IQ, in the 05/15/05 edition of Parade. In case you didn’t catch it, here’s what the reader asked her:
“Few people would buy a car without a test drive. Many feel the same way about marriage: They wouldn’t get married without having sex with the intended person first, to determine if they are sexually compatible and if they enjoy each other when making love. Do you think people should try each other out in this way before marriage?”
I loved vos Savant’s response:
“Moral issues aside, if you want to test-drive your intended spouse, you’re not in love with him or her. If you were, you would have only desire, not doubt. As anyone who has been in love knows, having sex isn’t comparable to making love. And if you’re not in love, you shouldn’t get married!”
Now, if only everyone had as much common sense . . .
Questions, comments, concerns? E-mail me! I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.
Burn Out and Buble
Someone wrote me today wondering what I was sick with, and I had to laugh. I'm not sick, just busy with this being finals week at school. I'm also very, very burnt out on school, so that's affecting my blogging creativity and for that I apologize. You guys are great and deserve better.
The bad thing about going to school online is that the terms are set up differently than traditional colleges. I go for nine weeks, get one week off, then go back for nine more weeks, get one week off . . . wash, rinse and repeat the cycle for the whole year. I get three weeks off for Christmas. It sort of seems structured for burn out, but complaining doesn't help. I've tried.
However, I just got an invite to a big graduation party followed by a girlie sleepover this weekend, so that just may be the thing I need to break out of this funk. Anyone go to church over in Moss Bluff, LA? I just might be there Sunday morning!
Also, Would Someone Please Tell Me . . .
. . . if being hooked on Michael Buble' is the musical equivalent of listening to John Tesh (who is geeky) or Harry Connick, Jr. (who is cool)? If he's in the same group as John Tesh, I might as well go put on my Nerd t-shirt . . .
Questions, comments, concerns? E-mail me! I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.
Uh-oh
It happens every now and then in the life of a blogger. It's awful. I hope I'm not getting sick.
Yes, folks I have run out of things to say and have no strong opinions to spout. There's something floating around inside my head, but it may be Monday until I get it nailed down. Gee, I'm not used to this. Maybe I ought to go check my temperature or make sure I'm not getting any ingrown toenails.
Ingrowns really wreck the quality of my life. I hope I'm not getting another one.
A concerned reader wrote and offered me some links. I'm so busy and exhausted I haven't even had time to read them. Go check them out here and here and here. Let's hope the guy who sent them is of upright moral character and didn't send me links to sleazy joke websites or something. Go check them out for me why don'tcha?
In the meantime, I'm off to hit the hay.
Things My Mother Taught Me
Ninetyandnine.com has a special section this week (which will be up later on this evening) honoring mothers, so I thought I'd take this chance to write down a few things my mom has taught me. Of course, it would take a much longer blog entry to write down everything I've learned from her, so these are some of the more unusual things.
If you can make a story better by exaggerating . . . then exaggerate!
When you give of your time, effort or money (or a combination of the three), and the gift is received with a spirit of ingratitude or entitlement . . . keep giving anyway, because it’s the right thing to do.
Misbehaving children make great Kodak moments.
A little bit of compassion goes a long way. A card or a visit to someone in need lasts much longer than the time you invested.
Dressing fashionably is overrated. Besides, your husband probably won't notice if you do or not.
You don't become popular by doing the right things. Being popular isn't a worthy goal anyway.
If you don't like certain clothes your daughter wears, it's easy to make them disappear.
When you've gone as far as you can go and you're as exhausted as you possibly can be . . . keep going.
If you’re tone deaf . . . sing as loudly as you can as often as possible anyway!
Happiness is being surrounded by the people you love. Joy is found in the simple things.
It's more important to do right than it is to be right.
Asking for forgiveness may be easier than asking for permission . . . but getting forgiveness hurts a lot worse than being told "no" would have!
Being dramatic is a lot more fun than being reserved.
Even after twenty years of washing clothes, you will occasionally turn your daughter’s white shirts pink and her pink shirts white. It's okay; she will only gripe for a little while; then she'll go out and buy more shirts.
Love is about loving everything that’s right about a person as well as all the things that are wrong.
Being a mother is a thankless job 364 days a year, but mothers don’t do all they do for thanks or recognition anyway (although they like it when you unload the dishwasher every now and then).
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!
Questions, comments, concerns? E-mail me! I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.
Something for Everyone
Whenever I don't have anything to say, I like to point you towards people who do. Fortunately, there are many people out there whose brains are working when mine isn't:
For Golfers - Redneck Addendum to the Rules of Golf
"1. Should a possum or raccoon steal your ball while it is in play, the foursome must loose the hound dawgs for at least five minutes before the player may drop a new ball within one club length of the nearest water fountain or honky tonk bar."
For Music Lovers - The Skunk
"Sometimes you run across a situation which makes you laugh–not because it is inherently funny, but because of the element of surprise, irony, or unpredictability. This week I stumbled across just such wonderful revelation."
For Poets - Lamb's Poet
A whole blog of nothing but religious poetry. Some of it is pretty good stuff.
For Feminists - What Andrea Dworkin Got Right
"When Andrea Dworkin—radical feminist, author, and a Founding Mother of the modern feminist movement—died on April 9 at the age of 58, a great many men cheered."
For Feisty Ex-Nun Lovers - Getting Spun
"I told the Variety guy off-the-record, 'I voted against John Kerry in the last election because he is a champion of the culture of death. But, believe me, if the GOP ever dropped its stated preference for the sanctity of human life, me and my friends at church would drop the Republicans so fast their heads wouldn't stop spinning for a decade.'"
For Bloggers - BlogLife
"1. Be curious. Go bloghopping, see what others are discussing. Rather than comment on another blog, take the subject back to your own and post your opinions (linking back to the source is standard blog etiquette.)" and more great advice on blog writing.
Questions, comments, concerns? E-mail me! I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.
Anybody Out There Have a Mom?
More specifically, do any of you have a mom you'd like to commemorate for Mother's Day? Ninetyandnine would like to give you a chance to do just that. So, in 100 words or less, complete this: "I love my Mom because. . ." Submit your thoughts to editor@ninetyandnine.com by Thursday, May 5 and it will appear the Monday after Mother's Day (because Mothers deserve more than one day of celebration).
Telling the world how much you love your mom would make a great addition to your mother's day present as well. (Hint, hint!) So get your brains a-wavin' and your fingers a-clickin' and let everyone know just how much you love her.
Questions, comments, concerns? E-mail me! I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.
Just a Little Bit Depressing? A Convo About Singles
At the risk of beating a dead horse, I decided to post one last blog about singles. Today’s entry consists of an e-mail conversation between a single guy and me.
Single Guy
I sure am glad your blog woke me up into the real world. I always knew that there was a general view in Pentecost that one should be married before 21, but I never knew it was this bad. But, now . . . I know that unless I get a wedding band on before 25, I'll mutate into an alien blob with four heads and thirty three fingers. Nobody bothered to tell me before. Nope. Those awful marrieds at my church just treated me (and the rest of our many singles) as if I were just a part of the family. They allowed us to hang out with them and play with their kids and invite us over for dinner, and never treated us differently. We went to concerts and picnics and played basketball just like everything was ok. They were just going to accept me like I was, without a wife! Those scoundrels!
Whew that was a close call. But it’s good to know that the saints are interceding behind my back for me to get hitched before it’s everlasting too late. The pity they have on me is for my own good and I understand that now. The very thread of my humanity is at stake here, and we can't be joking around with this.
Seriously, I've never been more disturbed by being a single guy than I was after I read that today. How very depressing. But after some thought, I've come to realize that it's not that bad, at least not for me. I am blessed with a wonderful church full of great people who love me and accept me with all my faults, including my single state. I realize not everybody is in my shoes and there are many out there that are going through very serious trials over this. I'm not trying to downplay that at all, but for me, I'm not feeling quite the level of despair that I'm hearing.
Single Me
Well, this is a switch! :) It was you, after all, who wrote that the pressure is on for you (and others like you) to marry before you're "old enough to buy alcohol."
I'm glad things are better for you than you let on with that first e-mail, but you're right -- not everyone has as good an experience as you. Which makes me wonder if that isn't a throwback to the whole double standard thing -- single men are considered bachelors but women are called spinsters and old maids. I wonder if churches make it harder to be a single woman than a single man. That's something I had not considered before . . . thanks for your comments.
Single Guy
You're right, I started it. But I've thought a lot about this. The pressure is on for us to be married, but I'm thinking along the same lines as you. There's a double standard, in some ways, for men and women. Men have the pressure of "marrying instead of burning," while women are considered 'incomplete' without a man.
For example - when something is said to me, it is always in the context of "It's wrong to have sex before you get married. Get a wife."But for women, it's usually "You need a man to take care of you."
I guess the point of my email today is that, while I do know that the pressure is definitely on to get married quickly, I've never felt as deeply intense or desperate about it as some of your readers. Is this a guy vs. girl thing? Yes and I wouldn't mind exploring that more.
Single Me
I think you're absolutely right, and this is an interesting conversation. (Maybe I'll just post the whole thing on my blog!) Your comments make me think that singles are pressured equally, but for different reasons. Perhaps those who pressure singles stereotype men as having passions burning out of control, while stereotyping women as unable to function properly without a husband?
Is it possible we singles are also guilty of stereotyping those who pressure us to marry? Perhaps it's a just another by-product of the whole generation gap, with younger singles and older marrieds unable to understand each other. That's why I think we need a lot more discussion about these things, which I'm hoping my blog will prompt. And in doing so, I think it's only fair to showcase the argument from several perspectives.
Single Guy
My earliest memory of this pressure is when I was about 15. My Sunday School teacher (an older lady) said "You need to be planning on who you want to marry. A man of God needs to find a good wife and marry and have children."
Nothing was ever said about education, career, goals, ministry, or anything else - but a man of God was expected to have wife and kids.
It could very well be that the older generation, who did not have all the same opportunities as we have, think we should continue in this "style" of life in order to preserve something. In order to truly be fair, we would have to speak to someone older who is known for this type of thing. I wonder if Gabby could help? Anyway, this is great convo. Let's set up camp on the blog and pull it all out on the table.
Questions, comments, concerns? E-mail me! I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.
The New Monthly Blogger is Live!
Good-bye Josh :(
This morning Josh Lewis of A Month in My Life wished us "Adios" and rode off into the sunset. I thoroughly enjoyed Josh's month, and I'm very relieved he didn't take us to task over using grape juice for the Communion. (I like my Welch's, thankyouverymuch!) Despite the fact that he's chosen not to take up blogging as a habit or mode of discipline (ha, ha!), I'm sure it won't be the last we'll hear of him as he's a www.ninetyandnine.com staffer. Maybe we'll get another article as great as Where's My Kiss? (And Josh, I haven't forgotten about that invitation to eat dinner sometime with you and Nancy and Jathan!)
Hello Joel :)
Our new blogger is a student of Gateway College of Evangelism. His name is Joel Johns, and he's about to start a tour with the GCE chorale, if I understand correctly. Maybe some of you will even get a chance to meet him this month or later on this summer if the tour hits your town! Be sure to mosey on over to A Month in My Life and tell him hello. Welcome Joel!
Questions, comments, concerns? E-mail me! I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.
More on Apostolics and the Single Life
I received some comments about last week's blog entries that I thought worthy of sharing:
First Comment
"I think a great point here is that because Aps do have the pressure (and rightly so!) to marry within their faith (read: not their organization -- their faith!) as the majority marries early, who is left as years pass makes a smaller and smaller pool to fish or be fished in. Some in the pool are high quality and some are not, but it is assumed because they have not been 'hooked' that something is wrong with them. Granted, sometimes there is a reason they aren't hooked and issues there have to be worked out. Sometimes God has spared them from marrying the wrong person (me! me! pick me!) because He had big plans for their season of singleness.
"I know that I would not have the relationship with the Lord that I do had I not been single. God knows in our weak humanity that we have a hard time balancing. When you choose to marry, you are promising to to devote a certain amount of time to that relationship in order for it not only to remain stable, but to thrive. If your relationship with God isn't thriving when you marry, it's very very hard to rise above that mark when you do marry. If you arent devoting a certain amount of time to God as a single person, why would you assume you can do that as a married person, with another relationship you must put time toward? I know it can be done, but a time of singleness is a great opportunity to get as close to God as possible.
"Another thought: the higher you go in God as a single woman, the smaller the selection of [potential] spouses, because you as God's handmaiden cannot marry just any old Apostolic guy. You have a marry a spiritual leader for your home, and he must be at least on the same level as you are or higher. It's great to go deeper in God, and that means that whomever God has set aside for your future will be phenomenal, but it might take longer to discover that person. God has had longer to work on you, and he will match you up with someone who is a worthy candidate, and that's no easy task."
Second Comment
"I'm 24 and single, and I love it. I love that Friday I leave for England again and that I'm planning a trip to Italy. I love that I have amazing friends that I can hang out with, and that my number one responsibility is not to have dinner on the table for my non-existent husband. I enjoy not being married, and I’m not ready to rush into it.
"The reasons are some of those you state: divorce, but not just divorce, unhappiness [as well]. How many couples do we see in the church who are miserable? Horrible marriages, unhappy people, sheesh; we'll pass. Not to mention, love the freedom, not ready for the work and responsibility of marriage.
"Then I wanted to comment that while we all wish to put marriage off (by we, I mean those like myself, to whom you seemed to be really hitting!), we're all secretly really scared of putting marriage off. We’re scared that there will be no one left to marry within the ranks. And [since] we don't want to marry unhappily, that may mean no marriage at all, and 99.9% of us are afraid of that prospect.
"Also, I wanted to add what you already wrote: we're lonelier than we're willing to admit. The fact is that in a culture that pushes marriage, I mean, absolutely makes you feel like a black sheep (thanks to your link to Camerin Courtney’s article I have that new phraseology to describe my state) if you aren't married, or at least pining away to be married, we do constantly feel on the outside, and the outside is lonely. It’s like we're the weird kids at school, and while I have always liked standing out, who wants to feel pitied? Who wants to feel hopeless, because according to the way things work, by 24 with no prospects, everyone is just trying to hold out hope for me. Ridiculous!"
Questions, comments, concerns? E-mail me! I reserve the right to quote you unless you ask otherwise.
