Random Thoughts

When someone else buys your lunch, it tastes better.

A cat who kills the chipmunk kills a bird the same day.

A friend in need...is a friend indeed (bf)

The garbage truck doesn't hesitate one second if your can ain't on the curb.

Gutters were invented by men who repair houses.

Gutters always clog up with leaves.

I'm ripping down my gutters.

If I ask a patient, "Do you smoke?" Don't answer "No, I quit yesterday."

I'm coining a new word: hystericalectomy.

Chick flicks are hazardous to marriage: guy meets girl, guy & girl jump in sack, guy&girl live happily ever after.

No one in chick flicks ever bleeds or smells bad or throws up or even burps.

If someone says they don't eat much...that's a good indication that they eat a lot.

In church, a good organist can bring the house down.

Whatever happened to testimony service?

Leaves will never do just that: leave.

I hate raking leaves.

I hate trees that shed leaves.

Well, okay, I do like trees.

How come wife rhymes with knife?

Babies only last for one year; after that they're toddlers (aka curtain climbers).

Developmental series a la stu:
0-1 year old: eats and poops, makes noises.
1-4 year old: eats stuff off floor, rules world.
5-9 year old: tears up toys, goes to school.
10-12 y/o: discovers most facts of life, not sure what to do about them.
13-19 y/o: sullen period of life—eats, grunts, lives in bedroom.
20-24 y/o: goes to school.
25- until: becomes productive member of society, works 40 hour workweek.

People who work at night are not sane most of the time.

Gas prices sho went down after Christmas.

Grass don't grow on a playground.