House Calls: December 2006

Happy New Year
Weekend Approacheth,
so Swilleth Not
Ye Spirits Whence
Driving Thy Carriage

List of Ten Most Dangerous Kid's Toys

Like the Proverbial Dog Returning To His Own Barf
I read something very disturbing this week, which I may have already suspected, about lung cancer post surgery patients who continue to smoke cigarettes! Estimates are that 50% of patients who have a tumor or partial lung removed take smoking back up as a habit within the year. And folks wonder why we harp on smoking so much in the Church! My main problem with it all is that most of the patients that come into the ER for a visit with some type of health emergency are smokers. Sure, it's job security but is also forcing insurance companies to make a move towards denying coverage to admitted smokers. When I see a person smoking cigarettes these days...I'm looking at a bonafide drug addict.

73% of Americans want Saddam to Hang
Read this and see what the polls for Saddam's trial reveal. Of course, statistics such as these must be quantified and validated with correct sampling, does it not (saith The "V")? Hanging, as opposed to the gassing, poisoning, torturing, point-blank pistol executions, and live burial that he imposed on his constituents and citizens?

A Television-Free Life, er, Used To Be
I read this article in the Sunday Times under "Ideas and Trends" about a guy who hadn't owned a television for 30 years, but on a whim, bought one, a 40" flat-screen. His reflection on the moment is worth reading, and I won't spoil it except to say that, with T.V., trivia rules. I myself have been televisionless since leaving the firehouse, where that smoking gun of inanity stayed on 24/7. I don't miss it one bit, and I wonder sometimes whether or not folks need detox from it.

True or False Quiz on the Late Gerald R. Ford

TF - He ascended to President after Richard Milhouse Nixon resigned.

TF - He initated a campaign to end inflation in America by issuing WIN buttons, which stands for "Whip Inflation Now."

TF - He occasionally beaned golf gallery spectators with errant drives.

TF - He was related to Henry Ford, inventor of the Model T and Ford Motor Co.

TF - He was not re-elected by popular vote.

A Great Week of the Year
This week is one of my favorite weeks, the one, you know, between Christmas and New Year's. The week you sit down with pencil and paper to try and figure out to lose that pesky little 133 pounds you gained in 2006. Well, maybe it's not that much weight, but there are some additions nonetheless that have collected in the nether regions of your body.

And then there's those Habits.
This is the week for New Year's resolutions for 2007: which bad habits should I lose, which good ones to procure and adopt. It's sort of a freebie week—we ate too much over the holidays, plus there's a whole bunch of goodies leftover, and no one minds that you enjoyed their cooking. So we lean towards a mindset of weight reduction and habit changes after we've been around those we love and they noticed the difference, even though they may not have mentioned it to you, but you can tell they noticed.

SO take a freebie
I plan to map out some resolutions, write them carefully down on a piece of paper, and burn it. Seriously, I think this is a fantastic time to make some life changes, after all, it will be a New Year! Blow it out this week, freebie week, then start the monastic life next week, nibbling on small crackers and humming chants at the water cooler at work. Take the hanging clothes off your treadmill and, well, put it out by the dumpster so someone else will come load it in their car, take home and use it...to hang clothes on.

Be positive stu
All right, I know I sound a bit pessimistic, but actually I'm an incurable optimist! I believe that ecah one of us can accomplish the goals we set out to achieve because we have God in our lives to help us overcome the things that weigh us down. That's the difference. What starts out as good intentions can come to fruition by that mainstaying power and lifeforce know as Spirit, Holy Spirit. I'm making some commitment today on paper and next Monday starts the New Year when I hope to fulfill them. You can, too.

Merry Christmas!

Winter, Winslow Homer

Stu's Last Minute Gifts Suitable for Loved Ones and/or Exchange

1. Barnes & Noble gift card

2. Miracle on 34th Street (1994 edition)

3. Whitman's Sampler

4. ABS Good News Bible

5. Vince Guaraldi's, A Charlie Brown Christmas

Please don't let this happen at your house this year.

Too Hot to Handel

No, I didn't misspell that, it's a for real modern adaptation of Handel's Messiah, and you can listen to or download the Hallelujah chorus here.

Christmas Eve Eve
Back in Georgia today, we must face the lonely, dim prospect of: buying food and a few more gifts. The wife and I are thinking of a mutual digital camera for us, but still have the boys to ready for. Is this insanity or what? But no, we won't whip ourselves into a frazzle over buying stuff, after a rough, draining week in S.C.

My brother's inlaws had their big Christmas party last night and today in S.C. Sis will drive home with her family to Clinton, Mississippi today, a 10-12 hour drive. Tradition found us all together at Mom's, a central meeting place, but is now over. We must regroup, and hopefully we can all get together, next year, in a place that has one connecting bathroom per bedroom. Change is tough, and it's the only thing permanent here on Planet Earth.

But it's Christmas Eve Eve today, and the prospect of eating at the wife's folks' house tomorrow and Sunday Christmas Eve service is something we look forward to. I work Christmas Eve 7p-7a, so will crash Christmas morning after breakfast and some time with the boys. This is probably more personal info about me and House Calls than you ever clicked for, but there it is— my life, my Christmas, and I hope yours is...Merry.

Driving Home
We drove home from S.C. yesterday, stopped in Madison to eat at Chop House Grill (excellent) and shop for a few minutes at a downtown store, bought her folks a Christmas gift. At home, our son informs us that the chipmunk was standing in the hall upstairs when he came out of the bonus/game room, then turned and scurried downstairs (chipmunk, not our son). SO, we have a real problem with Mr. Chipmunk, and may need to call in authorities to rid us of this pest or else he'll be sleeping in the guest room. Or, I'll have to crawl under the house sometime today and plug up whatever hole he's found to enter into our abode.

Thank You
Merry Christmas to all faithful readers of House Calls! I can't explain how much your comments, prayers and wishes for me and my family touched me these last two days, concerning the loss of Mom. I received an e-mail from a dear pastor's wife this morning that gave me strength to face yet another day of sadness and to begin to lift myself from the sorrow into the love and comfort of Jesus.

There is no place like home, and home is all you brothers and sisters out there that compose the great Body of Christ! Thanks for lifting me up in your thoughts and prayers this week, as they are felt and appreciated. I only wish that you could have been at the funeral with me, though I know that your prayers were there.

I'm here in Anderson yet another day, but plan to drive back tonight. It's tough to leave. I want to go by Hospice House and thank all the nurses and techs who took good care of Mom. I want to write a personal letter to all my first cousins who were here Wednesday and thank them for supporting me and our family. I want to thank God today for my Dad who's still alive, and who took the wife and me out to eat last night at a fantastic restaurant in Clemson.

I'm also deeply grateful for Tom, who married Mom last year and was there by her side through this entire cancer ordeal. He's such a sincere, open and honest fellow—you don't find men of his caliber much anymore. May the Lord bless him in the days ahead. He has my utmost respect and love for being good to Mom.

Thanks to all of you.

The Newlyweds
This is the story of Mom and her new husband, Tom. Mom had lived alone awhile after baby sister married and left home, but was fiercely independent and kept her house, and kept herself busy. She was writing a book, a memoir of sorts of the time period when both of my brothers developed a rare disease and died. Except this book had no end, it was an ongoing work, a labor of love.

One day a fellow came along who had lost his first and only wife, and Mom called me one day after Christmas, in early 2005 to say she had a friend. Her friend was helping her input her book onto a disc from a monstrous stack of handwritten pages. She asked me if I approve of her friendship: of course I did. And of course this story has a happy ending, when in July 2005, they married.

We were all concerned with their age difference, as Tom was 13 years older than Mom. Mom was 72; he was 85. He takes no prescription medicine, walks 3 or 4 miles every day, is a strong Presbyterian believer and gentleman. Oh well, may he live long and prosper. And he did, and they married and were the happiest little couple you ever knew, holding hands and talking and giggling and...in love.

Mom changed that year, alive and happy with new husband at her side, a lot of her fears and worries gone, a new life begun. After Christmas that year, I got the call: Mom had cancer—lung cancer spreading to the spine. It was the happy couple's decision to forgo chemo treatments and use a variety of herbal remedies instead. Soon, they were celebrating their first anniversary, traveling and enjoying life and each other.

In mid summer we learn that the cancer has moved to a few spots in the brain, so radiation treatments are necessary. After nine weeks of those and no hair left on her head, Mom takes a turn for the worse, and grows weak and Hospice dependent. Tom stays by her side like a noble prince, a lover who spends nearly every waking moment with her, monitoring her journey. On December 18, 2006 Mom passes beyond life to death.

This is the story of Mom and Tom. Mom is eternally 73, Tom is 87 and walks 3 to 4 miles every day, and has gained a family of 13. I'm not sure if Tom is an angel or not. He came along at the right time, brought a world of joy and happiness to Mom's life, and stuck by her side with compassion and love. Right until the very end.

.

Elaine Davis Hughes

1933-2006

.

They Were the Best of Times, They Were the Worst of Times

Stu: Lifetime achievement of 2006
When I clicked on the State Boards Nursing site and found, after taking NCLEX boards, that I had PASSED and was now a Registered Nurse®. This, after many years as a fireman working with large, sweaty men who smoke, dip, swear and sometimes put out fires. But now I must work with men and those of the female persuasion inside, with A/C and Heat, no exposure to rain, sun, etc. It's a rough life , but somebody has to do it, so, I figured, it might as well be me.

Stu: Bummer of 2006
The first time I had to work a 12 (hour shift) at NIGHT, 7PM til 7AM, which I had agreed upon before being hired as an emergency room RN, but now was questioning my very sanity. Then the next night was a little better, and after the second month or so I decided that it is absolutely wonderful working at night. But I do feel like a vampire at times: nocturnal.

Lost Climber Found On Mt. Hood
I find it amazing that a nation can be captivated by a solitary event, and will watch it over and over on the news. I believe that if CNN were still showing instant replays of the Twin Towers falling on 9/11, we would still be huddled around the TV at work or whatever going, "Oooh, look at that." So last night in the ER that scenario was true for the news flash about the lost climber, and for the various times I wandered into the breakroom, I heard this:

Bob: We're breaking live to Bill who is RIGHT NOW at Mt. Hood. Bob? Live Feed Delay: [silence for 5 seconds]
Bill: YES BOB, I'm here at Mt. Hood where we've made an amazing discovery here in the snow covered mountains, the very cold snow covered mountains where we're here with search teams.
Bob: What have you discovered, Bill?
Bill: Well Bob, we've discovered that the search teams have discovered the body of one of the climbers who was missing on Mt. Hood.
Bob: Bill, did I hear you correctly, and did you say you found a body on Mt. Hood?
Bill:Yes, Bob, search teams found the body of one of the three climbers on Mt. Hood.
Bob: So you said search teams have found a body, the body of a climber on Mt. Hood which happens to be covered with snow, cold snow?
Bill: Yes Bob, we've found a body.
Bob: Is this the body of one of the three climbers on Mt. Hood, Bill?
Bill: Search teams are now confirming, Bob, that the body that was found was one of the three climbers on Mt. Hood.
Bob: Bill, the climber that was found by search teams is dead?
Bill: Bob, Search teams say that the climber who's body was found was discovered dead.
Bob: Bill, The search teams have found the body of the climber?
Bill: Yes, Bob, search teams hav discovered the body of one of the three climbers on Mt. Hood, which is very cold, I might add.
Bob: So the search team found the body of the climber?
Bill: Search teams have found the body of the climber, one of the three climbers who were missing earlier, but now which, the body of one has been discovered in a snow cave.
Bob: Bill, did you say a snow cave was where the body was found?

...And on and on ad infinitum until my coffee was as old as the news flash.

Christmas time...is here
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, and we're heading up to S.C. to gather round Mom for her last few days, we think. On the drive up, I love seeing the decorations on the homes along the way, the back way through Monticello, Madison, Athens and other noble sounding towns in Georgia. Not to mention the small spots along the way such as Shady Dale, Ila, Carnesville, and Bill's Barbeque. Mom is at the Rainey Hospice House in Anderson, S.C., in case you asked. I'll be seeing my sister from Mississippi, and brother from Columbia and their various offspring. Christmas time is here.

Kristyn Leigh To Sing at White House
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT, here is the link at CCM about Miss Leigh's performance to be held on December 23, 2006 at the Pageant of Peace on White House grounds. Read more about this incredible talent in our midst, and plan to give one of her CD's as a gift this Christmas instead of one of the thousands of mall items that you still can't decide on. Or get it for yourself—I'm listening to clips from her new CD now.

Who is America, and Why Do We Do What We DO?
According to the Census Bureau's recent abstract, you can now crunch many numbers and fill your head with new trivia about what we do here in the good ole U.S. of A. As if USA Today didn't already overkill everyday in the area of statistics. But for those of us who want to know that more folk are injured by wheelchairs than lawnmowers...this is your read for the day. Me? I'm reading about why Miss USA is getting booted for accusations that she has gone wild in New York bars. And guess who is rendering out the punishment? Donald Trump!

Now there's an National Enquirer headliner if there ever was one.

"INDUSTRY and constant employment are great preservatives of the morals and virtue of a nation. Hence bad examples to youth are more rare in America, which must be a comfortable consideration to parents. To this may be truly added, that serious religion, under its various denominations, is not only tolerated, but respected and practiced."

-Benjamin Franklin, To Those Who Would Remove to America

Stu's #1 Choice of Christmas Album
I can't remember the name of the Christmas film with Tim Allen, but I do remember the bass voice of Leon Redbone singing White Christmas in the opening credits. So, for this year, I nominate and select Mr. Redbone's 1989 album, Christmas Island, as the unsung favorite album, which, by the way, I haven't purchased yet, since I plan to limit my purchases this year so that the wife can maximize hers.

Here's To You L.A.
In honor of a one-week cameo appearance back on the blog pages of ninetyandnine.net by L.A., I have a bit on southern Louisiana and cane syrup. It's a NY Times piece about holiday cooking and sugar cane vs. beet or corn syrup to sweeten treats from yams to cookies to confectionaries. I'm a certified sugar junkie, surprised I don't weigh 300 pounds or something. I'm certain L.A. will appreciate this-here info about her beloved Louisiana, pining for it's borders after moving to the "Most Dangerous City in the U.S.": St. Louis, Missouri which I only plan to visit once I possess a loaded, automatic weapon. One of which I'm sure she carries in her purse as we speak.

Holidays Here, Road Trip To S.C.
The wife and I are driving up to see Mom, hearing the news from my brother Saturday that this may be her final week as a resident of Earth. I was going solo to S.C. until my wife graciously made the request to attend at my side. Mom's been in Hospice House for over a month now, receiving excellent care, growing weaker. She married the new husband in August 2005, a guy who has stuck by her like a true love and devoted mate. And now there is loss looming in the picture again for him.

Those are the holidays for us this year.

Two Tons of Shtuff Added To Space Station
Ever since the Space Shuttle blasted off from Disney's Florida Epcot nightly fireworks show©, I've been wondering...How much more stuff can we possibly add to the Space Station®? I'm thinking that, if it ever runs out of gas or whatever's keeping it floating above the earth, well, then what? It will fall faster than Al Gore's popularity rating, that's what. And I'm assuming that for some reason, scientifically engineered with the use of slide rulers, physics, and and a soldering iron: it won't fall on my house. Specifically, it will fall on Iran. That's what I'm thinking.

The Latest on Mr. Kitty Watches Out For Mr. Chipmunk
Okay, after a night in the ER, there remains plenty of excitement at my house, specifically our kitchen where our cat, aka Mr. Kitty, waits tentatively each minute of the day watching for: Mr. Chipmunk. I'm not sure how the latter gets in the house, but we believe that he intimidates the cat since 1. There is no evidence of his demise and 2. He has taken up permanent residence under the stove. I'm waiting 'til after Christmas to introuce Mr. Chipmunk to Mr. Trap, so Mr. Kitty has a few more weeks to earn his keep at our humble abode.

"I sat at a table where were rich food and wine in abundance, and obsequious attendance, but sincerity and truth were not; and I went away hungry from the inhospitable board."

-H.D. Thoreau

Christmas At Stu's Place

Ten items you won't find at my house this Christmas:

1o. Lee Ann A.
9. Santa either.
8. Fruitcake.
7. A tree (next year!).
6. Mistletoe (carries lice).
5. Figgy Pudding.
4. Framed portrait of K.D. Curry
3. A dog by the fire.
2. Or chestnuts roasting upon it.
1. Roasted Peartree Partridges.

Tried Folgers Chocolate Silk?
I tried this stuff at work, which smells heavenly when someone walks throught the nurses station toting a cup, the aroma lifting us above the various ER smells of humanity. It tastes somewhat odd, but chocolate lovers are probably certain to enjoy it. Or maybe it's that the rotgut brand provided by the hospital is so bad in contrast that the Folgers tastes so great. On the hospital coffee pre-filled-portion bags is stamped Patient's First Blend, which I have so deftly re-named, Patient's Last Blend.

Silly String for U.S. Troops

Small Town Georgia Flicked Off New DOT Map
With the flick of a finger, Department of Transportation mapmakers in Georgia have decided to delete many small communities off the new map, because they take up too much space on the map. Okay... Well, I was wondering where the citizens of those communitites will be airlifted to, and if federal assistance is available. Next, we'll be eliminating smaller, less important states off the U.S. map, states like Rhode Island, for example. Perhaps mapmakers could be appeased if we simply renamed all these backbone communites, Walmartville.

Space Shuttle Launches Saturday Night

(Kirk Willingham has given me permission to reproduce this poem in its entirety.)

The Girl and the Sea

A girl I once knew went to swim in the sea,
Against the tide, and the waves, and the breeze.
In her mind she was the strong swimmer of her youth
While actually a weak swimmer, but not facing the truth

That the ocean is strong, the current is fierce
And with each stroke out deep hit amiss
That her strength was not there, out in the deep
Past the safety of friends, of family and people.

House Calls

Friday, December 29, 2006

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Monday, December 25, 2006

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Friday, December 22, 2006

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Monday, December 18, 2006

Friday, December 15, 2006

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Monday, December 11, 2006

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Saturday, December 09, 2006