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Is It Real?
I believe it was Mom who said to me when I was a kid, "Don't believe what you read in a book to be true, just because it's in a book." SO, where does that leave us now? I mean, does everybody believe all the total junk on the internet, the same way they view CNN as gospel?
-Just a scary thought that synapsed across my gray matter this afternoon.

You, Too, Can Discover Noah's Ark
Authorities have discovered a replica of Noah's ark in the Netherlands, which is one of those countries where it's probably cold and I'm not exactly sure where it's located. But if you did wish to see the ark, a creation of a guy who built it according to his wife's plans since she decided "if he was ging to build the thing, then here's how it should look," (which for some uncanny reason resembles a giant Vera Bradley purse) then call your local travel agent and request a ticket to the "Netherlands."

Time Announces Man-of-the-Year 2007:

Kent d Curry

Congratulations to the illustrious editor of the International Webzine nearly in its tenth year of publication. Way to go KDC!

Jesus in Jewish Culture
Here's a conference featuring some catchy book titles for those of us enabled with the Jewish connection, wink-wink. Which is really weird to say , like we're out of the norm. But the trin-meisters have tried to hoodwink us for too long, and we are not fooled. I mean,what is Christianity without Jews?

Jesus Pizza!?
That's what I said, too. But it sounds like a great idea, and is workable, sounds like at this particular locale, to lure in students for a few minutes of fun and food. Jesus pizza!

Presenting again, Today's Headlines to Rap
(see NY Times online)

Ask the Man, by G Bo Red
New hope at the beauty counter: bling in a jar,
If there's a buck in it...somewhere.
Where many have long trusted only in cash,
Corzine takes his first steps since car crash.

Japan Premier to visit politically changed Washington,
Infant deaths: shame of a nation.
What should a Chinese car look like?
Not a spirit of adventure, wiping out a parasite.

(chorus)
Ask the man, ask the man,
tell him everthing ya can
With this illustrious plan,
I'm a touring tarzan.
(repeat)

Court asked to limit lawyers at Guantanamo,
Saudis' effort for reform stall, yo,
Move over GM, Toyota's number one,
Boys dead, girl stabbed in Chicago home.

(chorus)
Ask the man, ask the man,
tell him everthing ya can
With this illustrious plan,
I'm a touring tarzan.

None Dare Call It Porn?
I'm re-reading Neil Postman's, Amusing Ourselves To Death in which he exposes the shift from print to television as our mode of learning and expressing knowledge, and I think I'd like to update his book (he's deceased) to include the internet takeover with the rise of porn. In the linked article here, the author states that:

"There is no choice on the internet today. If you are connected to the internet, you are connected to pornography. You may not encounter it today or tomorrow, but at some unexpected moment, you will."

The author also states:

"The largest consumers of internet pornography are youth 12-17 years of age."

If this doesn't sound an alarm in your mind, then what will? True, television has caused the slow rot of culture, and the decline of intelligence and education in America, but internet porn is growing in leaps and bounds, feeding on narcissistic youth, and growing into a great beast of destruction. That is my opinion of course, and perhaps you have a stronger one. Or perhaps you are participating in your own daily porn habit and would feel hypocritical to speak out against it.

As the 21st Century Church evolves, will we bloat with materialism, narcissism, and deadly secret addictions in silence, or will we stand up and recognize that the hulking internet overshadows the smoking gun of television, rendering it nearly a moot point? Maybe we should ask a 12 year-old who surfs the internet after school that question.

Stu's April Read-of-the-Month
I'm reading Two Years Before The Mast, a non-fiction account of a Harvard drop-out who gained berth on a sailing ship headed for California...via Cape Horn! In other words, there was no Panama Canal when my man, Richard Henry "Dickie" Dana decided to take the trip. I have had to wade through some serious nautical lingo to get the meat out of his big adventure, for example:

"We got it wrapped around the yard, and passed gaskets over it as snugly as possible, and were just on deck again, when, with another loud rent, which was heard throughout the ship, the fore-topsail, which had been double-reefed, split in two athwartships, just below the reef band, from earing to earing."

This natty, nautical jargon-filled narrative becomes understandable the more I read, even though I ignored the illustrated glossary in the appendix that explains what-sail-goes-where. It's amazing to me that this landlubber adjusted to the seafaring life so cleanly and quickly in just a few months. He goes into detail about the coast of California, Mexican-owned at the time, where the main trade was hides—cattle hides, that is. And he still has a year left, and I, the final half of the book. But I love the familiar English he paints with, such as:

"A painter could not have painted so clear a sky. There was not a speck upon it. Yet it was blowing great guns from the northwest. When you can see a cloud to windward, you feel that there is a place for the wind to come from; but here it seemed to come from nowhere. No person could have told from the heavens, by their eyesight alone, that it was not a still summer's night...when the great mainsail gaped open, and the sail ripped from head to foot."

This preceded the worst gale he encountered, that lasted 3 days and blew the ship out so far to sea that it took them 22 days to sail back to the original position of the ship! And that's the sort of reading I'm doing this month, fresh from San Francisco where I discovered this work. Ahoy!

Narcissism: The Plague of American Youth

In explaining the actions of the Virginia Tech shooter we must find the truth: narcissism plays the dominant role. At least that's what the author of this article states, and with which I concur. If the kettle is black then lets call it black, and determine how it got that way. Please read the entire piece. And thanks to my editor for alerting me to its existence.

A Stu Update In Case You Wondered
Since I suspect that ninetyandnine.com may be getting estimates of some 50,000 hits this week, I better provide some real news concerning my life, my blog, and my outlook on House Calls. I am at The House today, in Macon Georgia, temps expected to reach 84° today, and the wife, alas, has gone back to work after seven glorious weeks at home. One week was in San Francisco, the other six recuping from surgery. All is well.

The wife is still a bit glum about the shooting at her beloved alma mater, Virginia Tech, in case you missed it. She majored in Human Foods and Nutrition, graduated the same day as I from Mercer/Macon, and was somehow persuaded to leave those gorgeous Appalachian Hills to come to Middle Georgia, not much like Tolkien's Middle Earth, but charming nonetheless. We went on our first date in Blacksburg, strolling around VT campus after eating Chinese food. Last week's events took a toll on her, as it did on us all.

Nurses at my ER continue to fall out, leaving for better opportunities, so they say. I completed my first year at ER this month, and started tossing around the idea of more degrees, travel nursing, and other places to work. A transient bunch, we nurses are, I guess because we know that opportunity is everywhere, and we are mobile. I remember one nurse who worked a temp agency telling me while I was an extern, that if "They start cutting up wit' me, I turn 'em loose." That attitude prevails at ER as well: Too many changes, and I'm outa here. But Stu does not feel that way, and understands that there is much to be said for the two L's, loyalty and longevity.

SO, my faithful readers of House Calls, thanks for sticking with me through these lean weeks of writing, and for putting up with a picture (worth 1000 words) and a scant epithet, that it won't be long before I figure out how to post short films aka youtubes so that soon you can thank me for waaaaaaa-iiiiiiiiiiiii-tiiiing for the little red buffering line to lo-o-o-o-o-o-o-ad so you can watch. Feel the rush.

(War Memorial, Campus, Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University in Blacksburg, VA.)

Virginia Tech Back At Classes
From the snippets and rumors of last weeks catastrophe at Virginia Tech campus, I hereby relate to you, the causal reader, these facts. (For the expert reader who has devoted himself to souring every detail about it, I defer to the higher power: your intellect.) But here is my go:

• A raving lunatic shot and killed 33 people because they somehow offended him.
• The lunatic's family is very embarrassed by his actions.
• One of the victims was a Holocaust survivor.
• Other shooting victims did not die, but were hospitalized.
• The VT Marching Band played in the parking lot for those hospitalized folk.
• Those killed will be awarded posthumous degrees from VT.
  
• NBC suspends decorum and airs the lunatic's self-made video.
• Family and students are shocked by the airing of this video.
• NBC reverts to decorum, acknowledges that it was the worst mistake to air.
• All VT students may receive an automatic "C" grade for classes, if opting to.
• Classes resumed today, one week later.
• The crime, authorities suspect, was not President Bush's fault.
• Nor was it the University president's fault.
• It was the shooter's fault.
  

Ninetyandnine at .com yet another week
Please don't despair over the temporary reverson back to .com from .net, but glitches prevail at the moment, and may win out in the end.

Cam Hat Brings Life To You 24/7

At justin.tv you will see what a guy's hat cam observes. Found out about this one at NPR.org, and so far have only seen the guy asleep. But this afternoon, I see that he's sitting in the room, wow. I mean, this is the ultimate in bad reality t.v., unedited life, that is.

Georgia Wildfires, Mobi'Hawms, and Bubba
I can't believe I discovered that huge wildfires are running rampant a few miles from my home by reading it in the NY Times! Yet, sho nuff, there are and I did.

Stu's Neighbor Dies in Traffic Accident
My neighbor was brought to the ER the other night and I didn't hear anything else until saw all the cars parked on the street. They moved in to a house couple doors down last year.

Listen to In Jesus Name, by Kristyn Leigh

Download the perfect song
for those of you
who are broken hearted today.

Has the Media completely lost its everloving mind by airing this lunatic who shot students at Virginia Tech?!? This is, upon my discovery this morning at yahoo news, the most tasteless production ever aired at the ALL TIME most inappropriate time! Those poor families who are grieving deeply over their murdered child have to contend with the murderer splashed all over television and other media. What a complete and utter failure to use decorum in the face of a national disaster.

Plus (I'm still ranting), this media exposure invites with open arms future gunslingers/doomsdayers who plan to march into their school or venue and open fire on innocent bystanders. It proclaims, "SHOOT UP A CAMPUS AND GET YOUR NAME UP IN LIGHTS!" Am I mistaken? I think not, considering that the shooter at Virginia Tech named the hoodlums that performed a similar act at Columbine high school as "martyrs." This, my brother my sister, is a copycat act, and media glorification and exposure of this madman paves the way for future acts. Stop it now, please, in the name of human decency!

From me, and I wish I had a video tape for all media to broadcast, I state here today that I am extremely sorry for what happened to your children, all ye who are broken hearted as a result of an act of mindless and meaningless violence. My heart goes out to you parents, friends, lovers of those whose lives were ended at the hand of a stranger, a deranged madman. Oh people, how God wants to gather you in his arms, to comfort you, and to give you peace during this time of suffering! Please know that Jesus is here for you today, He's here for you right now to heal your wounded heart. That is what I proclaim to the world today.

-Stu

CHEST PAIN!
Okay, I arrived at work last night and was assigned to work upstairs in the Chest Pain Center, which is a part of the ER, but not on the same floor. It is more like floor nursing, a job which I choose not to do. So, it's like I was stuck in an elevator for 8 hours, Muzak drifting in the background, the lights down low...and my dementia patient standing naked at the glass door with nothing on but a blood pressure cuff and a smile—SAYWHAT?! That's when I say a silent "thanks" for psychotic medications, which the doctor ordered when I called to alert her to the situation.

And speaking of doctors, the one I just mentioned is from an eastern bloc country, very quiet, red hair, and I mean red as in apple, and when asked what type of music she liked, she stated that she lived in Brooklyn while in med school and likes "zee hip-hope." What interesting folk I meet at night, between 7p-to-a. What a life.

Fortunately for me, I was assigned back down to the ER at 3a. Things went lovely, and I resisted kissing the ground, but managed to announce that Toto, we're back in Kansas! Ah, the life of an ER RN, with a Hospice Rep bringing Chick-fil-a mini-chick biscuits and a short in-service. May the rest of you daytime living folks one day get to see what life at night is all about. And if you're ever passing through Macon, Georgia and feel the need to get treatment, come by and see me!

Back in the Circle of Life
Just so happens that my wife is a Virginia Tech Alumni, and we actually went on our first date there, so yesterday's cataclysmic event struck home with us. As with the rest of the world. Oh why do we give these murderer copycats top billing and instant celebrity? This is a prime example of mass media run (a)muck.

May God bless the families of those who died yesterday.

Stu's Big Week Off!
Okay, so I didn't get much blogging in, but I was off for almost a week with my recovering, blushing bride, helping her buy a car and get the yard in shape before Easter (and after). I don't know about the rest of you, but the wind blew strong here in Macon, Georgia for about 2 days. So, I guess I'll get another day of yardwork in before heading back to work tonight in the ER. That's emergency room to those of you tuning in for the first time...I'm an ER nurse, male, former fireman and paramedic.

I have amassed and sorted a top ten favorite things to do at the Emergency Room list in case you ever wondered what sort of activities would make me want to continue is this sort of work.

10. Clock in on time.

9. Drink already made fresh coffee while meeting with team for work assignments.

8. Discover my 3 patients are not admissions.

7. Find chocolates in lefthand drawer, second from top.

6. Surf internet...WHOOPS! now a firing offense. Nix.

5. Drink second cup coffee before 9pm.

4. Eat lunch before midnight.

3. Give I.M. injections.

2. Visit with buds at other nurses stations.

1. Call wife at 10pm when the overhead announcement states the hospital is NOW CLOSED.

ninetyandnine remains at .com for yet another week
SORRY to all of *you with a bookmark at .net, but for technological reasons still undefined, ninetyandnine will remain at .com until further notice. One editor suspects aliens at work, others assume hackers or lack of expertise at the host end. Whatever. But don't miss out on the zine this week trying to figure it out.



*For your troubles, we offer these t-shirts to help you express your frustration this week (see photo), available where prohibited including countries with the letter "a" in them.

Friday 13th: Thomas and Tiger

Waaay Long Hair

Soon-to-be World's Richest Man Computer Illiterate

It's ninetyandnine.com this week, folks

Sorry for the technical dificulty, but ninetyandnine is at the old .com address this week again, as there are glitches with the .net.

So don't despair...
change your net-to-com and you'll be there!

Another Scientist Who Believes in God, BION
ALso suggest reading from the Great North, this guy sees the futileness of scientific dogma concerning God.





Oh, BION = believe it or not.

Another blog that was recommended to me...
Check out this rambling blog from the Dallas Observer.

The Humanity of Jesus

I was reading an interesting perspective from theologian Kirk L. Willingham on the humanity of Jesus and he states:

"Too often we try to present Jesus as superman which misses the point of his humanity, his walk of the common man on earth, the unsuspecting character who lived among men and yet did not sin. My friend, that involves human willpower, driven by the Spirit in him, available to us now. But to subscribe to the doctrine of Jesus as Action Hero does not ring true. He allowed the Spirit to work miracles through him, miracles defined as those acts that the rest of us humans cannot produce on an everyday basis. Yet, he was a man, subject to hunger, thirst, and sleep, which we should not deny when explaining His life."

I also googled Jesus' humanity and found this at Theopedia:

"The humanity of Jesus is as essential to the Christian faith as his deity. The New Testament teaching and the orthodox Christian position regarding the Person of Christ is that Jesus is truly God and truly man in the fullest sense of the terms. In His Person is a union of two distinct natures -- human and divine. In this union the two natures did not combine or confuse so as to produce a unique, third kind of nature; nor was there a dual personality. Rather, the product was a single unique Person, a Person with two natures. Jesus is truly human in every essential aspect. Indeed, Jesus, being sinless, is the most authentic human being who ever lived."

That's a brief look at some stuology running through this sleep-deprived brain over the Easter/Masters weekend. And just when did the Masters ever get the notion to have the tournament on Easter weekend???

The father of Anna Nichole's Baby Identified

In Memorium

Johnny Hart
(B.C. Artist)

1931 - 2007

Note: ninetyandnine.net continues with technical difficulties. For your alternative enjoyment, may I offer you the stu version, with apologies to kdc:


70&7 - slather for the slack

Cover
(at the airport)
No, I'm not Amish! Are you sociologically challenged?

Ephemera
Will we really pay tithe when we win the lottery?

Review
The Twiggs County, Georgia Singing Sing-a-lings CD


Reviews
* Ask Stu: ask anything and include your VISA card #

*Survey Sez: What would I spend a billion dollars on?

*Letters/Feedback: emails welcome!


Blogs:

*6 and 1/2 Hours In My Life, Not Counting Sleep

*Collide-escape

* House Arrest with vague photos


Once a Long Time Ago

* My Life as a Serial Killer before Church

* Living in The Most Dangerous City in the U.S.: St Louis



April Fools!... and, no, there are no links, haha!

We Interrupt This Program
To Bring You A Special Message

This is a TEST...of the ninetyandnine.net webcasting system...this is only a test...We are temporarily in limbo...unable to publish this week's fascinating webzine...rumors have it that illustrious editor Kent d Curry...on an emergent field op in Augusta, Georgia...Last seen with binoculars and pimento cheese sandwich...wearing sunglasses...watching Tiger Woods tee off.
PLEASE STAY TUNED FOR IMMINENT PUBLISHING OF THIS WEEK'S ZINE!

James Dobson May Not Try This
I had to cut the grass, vacuum out the swimming pool, and trim the hedges when I was growing up, but having to visit relatives was what toughened me up. I'm talking pinching, poking, fistfights and my aunt once persuaded me to chop down a humongous tree in the mountains. But whoever this rocket scientist/football personnel is...I'm not sure if the authorities shouldn't step in for abuse issues. Read this incredibly adverse tale for yourself.

The Search for Amelia Earhart

Thanks to my Maple Syrup Source for this research on the greatest woman aviator and her mysterious disappearance.