Top 10 Signs You're Avoiding Studying for Finals
Roomy and I went to LSU to work last night. It was finals time, so among the many memories I enjoyed were those of all night cram sessions and 4 am trips to MacDonald’s before coffee shops were cool.
In loving tribute to all you poor souls who, unlike me, are consumed with the madness of finals, I've resurrected an old top 10 for you (not that any of the following ever applied to me, of course).
Top 10 signs you're avoiding studying for finals:
10. You know every detail of the TomKat & Brangelina latest, but can’t remember the name of your Econ professor. You’re just hoping you’ll recognize him the day of the final.
9. The whole “gas prices” thing is getting to you so you make the trip to AutoZone and tell the sales associate that your car only drinks unleaded, but you want to switch her to propane to save a few bucks. When he laughs, you go home and start researching how to make your own ethanol.
8. Next you realize you’ve been awake for 39 hours and haven’t eaten. A trip to Wal-mart results in a 3 hour trance in the aisle while comparing the nutritional value tables of the various brands of rice cakes.
7. You write a song in Wal-mart with the help of the sales associates in the electronics department that never changes key and revolves around the single refrain, "I am a slacker." You ask them if they will consider recording it with you, but only on the condition that you get to drive the tour bus.
6. You return home to reorganize your sock drawer, stopping each time you find a sock without a mate to sing tearfully to it "Oh How He Loves You and Me."
5. You then give the comforted sock a ten-minute pep talk about just hanging in there--the right sock'll come along some day.
4. You decide to count all the money in your piggy bank but then spend the rest of the day in severe depression when you realize: "Oh yeah...I'm a poor, penniless college student, and I have no money.”
3. So you decide to change your major for the nevermindth time, realizing that this now means instead of having 18 hours left before graduation, you have 97.
2. You scratch that idea and instead plan a covert operation to take down the Bill Gates empire and start a computer dynasty named something to the effect of "I am the richest person on the planet, even though I failed all my finals in the spring of 2006."
And the #1 sign you're avoiding studying for finals:
1. You're reading this!
Get back to work and good luck, everybody!
In loving tribute to all you poor souls who, unlike me, are consumed with the madness of finals, I've resurrected an old top 10 for you (not that any of the following ever applied to me, of course).
Top 10 signs you're avoiding studying for finals:
10. You know every detail of the TomKat & Brangelina latest, but can’t remember the name of your Econ professor. You’re just hoping you’ll recognize him the day of the final.
9. The whole “gas prices” thing is getting to you so you make the trip to AutoZone and tell the sales associate that your car only drinks unleaded, but you want to switch her to propane to save a few bucks. When he laughs, you go home and start researching how to make your own ethanol.
8. Next you realize you’ve been awake for 39 hours and haven’t eaten. A trip to Wal-mart results in a 3 hour trance in the aisle while comparing the nutritional value tables of the various brands of rice cakes.
7. You write a song in Wal-mart with the help of the sales associates in the electronics department that never changes key and revolves around the single refrain, "I am a slacker." You ask them if they will consider recording it with you, but only on the condition that you get to drive the tour bus.
6. You return home to reorganize your sock drawer, stopping each time you find a sock without a mate to sing tearfully to it "Oh How He Loves You and Me."
5. You then give the comforted sock a ten-minute pep talk about just hanging in there--the right sock'll come along some day.
4. You decide to count all the money in your piggy bank but then spend the rest of the day in severe depression when you realize: "Oh yeah...I'm a poor, penniless college student, and I have no money.”
3. So you decide to change your major for the nevermindth time, realizing that this now means instead of having 18 hours left before graduation, you have 97.
2. You scratch that idea and instead plan a covert operation to take down the Bill Gates empire and start a computer dynasty named something to the effect of "I am the richest person on the planet, even though I failed all my finals in the spring of 2006."
And the #1 sign you're avoiding studying for finals:
1. You're reading this!
Get back to work and good luck, everybody!
posted by Lee Ann @ 1:28 PM
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