Ninetyandnine News

If you have not laughed yet today, please check out photos from Evangelist Curry’s latest revival, reported at Ninetyandnine’s The Benchwarmer(s). Action photos in Parts I, II, and III are indescribable.

Turkey Day Report – Day I

I was made glad and thankful by a wonderful day with family. Our activities:

The Day Begins
7:17 a.m. – In classic demo of good plans gone awry, left home 47 minutes behind schedule; all exuded positive Christian family values in self-restraint and non-violence.

8:56 a.m. – Krispy Kreme pit stop; Mom threatens anyone not back in the Trailblazer in 5 minutes has to run alongside the rest of the way.

Food Rules the Day
10:55 a.m. – Arrival; men already out back with firearms, women simultaneously monitoring dressing, dumplings, turkey, and green bean casserole

11:30 a.m. – Feast; discussion of old family memories, hunting stories bordering dangerously on the brink of tale-bearing

...And Firearms
12:30 p.m. – Men resume firearm competition; women clean up

2:45 p.m. – Blogger embarrassed by inability to hit skeet as in days of yon

5:20 p.m. – Feast; recollection of legendary family squirrel hunting trip, discussion on the increasing human life span phenomenon, and re-hash about past family drama over mid-80’s Democrat National Convention

The Day Winds Down
9:25 p.m. – Pit stop in Brookhaven, MS Wal-mart (apparently having National Camouflage Convention); sighting of man in Children’s department with 9-inch buck knife on hip.

11:16 p.m. – Succumb to Dad’s advice and opt for cement rod repair kit over duct tape to fix fishing pole for tomorrow’s adventure.

12:54 a.m. – Blogger wracked with guilt over duct tape betrayal.

Happy Thanksgiving

The Holiday Nears
For most of us, today is the Friday of our short work week. Travel plans are hastily made, changed, and changed again, and grocery store trips are frantically scheduled as the feast looms. I’ve just been updated that our family’s menu has been evolved from gumbo to a fish fry. (But don’t worry, we’re still cooking chocolate pies!)

Plans for the Holidays
1. Be thankful.

2. Fish!!! After a long hibernation, we’re getting back on the water with a winter trip to Pointe Au Chene on Friday!

3. Read - hopefully I’ll get to 1 of the 3 used paperbacks I picked up on my last bookstore visit, and hopefully it’ll be as good as the first book from there (Crossing to Safety by Wallace Stegner).

4. Succumb to the pressure - The public is appalled that I'm not on Everyone's Connected. There's even been talk about renaming it Everyone’s Connected—Except Lee Ann, or so you would think from talking with Roomy#1. So after some prodding, I will attempt to connect over the holidays.

Happy Thanksgiving
With holiday travels, my blogging may be limited. But I wish you each the happiest of Thanksgivings.

Just for Fun
It’s always interesting to see the collision of contemporary culture with the classics. In a hilarious junction of classic literature and current technology/communication, Romeo and Juliet is told entirely in emoticons.

Thanksgiving and Shopping Line Etiquette

It’s Thanksgiving, as you may have noticed. Like the rest of the Ninetyandnine family, I’ve shared my special thanks.

Someone told me today that Thanksgiving is the best holiday because it’s not overcome with commercialism; it’s simply a time to be with friends and family and, of course, be thankful. Now, there is a detail called the birth of Christ, which I think gives Christmas an edge. But in a non-religious sense, you have to admit Thanksgiving is one of our better holidays.

Here are my personal top 10 reasons Thanksgiving is swell:

1. Cutting up paper grocery bags to create your own burlap vest complete with fringe. (Did anyone else do that in first grade?)
2. We get more time off work for Thanksgiving than Christmas.
3. Football marathons.
4. No need to practice your “it’s what I’ve always wanted” gift-opening expression.
5. It’s perfectly okay to eat-nap-eat-nap all day—oh wait, that’s every Saturday.
6. Get to have some fun at the mall with all the money you’re going to save over the next eight weeks by having turkey sandwiches for lunch instead of going out with coworkers.
7. You’re not yet sick of songs involving reindeer, snowmen, or other never-before-seen Christmas icons.
8. (If applicable) official installation of the holiday Christmas lights and decorations.… Oh wait, they’re still up from last year.
9. It’s a perfect time for you to exercise your American History 2055 knowledge and elaborate on the distinction between Pilgrims and Puritans.
10. The cool little turkeys you color in Sunday school from your hand print.

When you think about it, Thanksgiving is like the warm-up for Christmas. There’s the turkey day feast which is sort of like the pre-game stretch before the week-long Christmas eating binge. In my case, the Dadster is frying a turkey and Mom has promised Crawfish and corn soup, gumbo, and chocolate pies. Let the games begin.

Thanksgiving also sports the next-day shopping marathon, after which the malls are never the same. However, this year everyone seems to be getting a jump start. Let this hereby serve as notice: the malls are already crazy. I know--I’ve shopped all weekend. Mom and I had a great weekend getaway to the outlet mall in nearby Foley, Alabama, and I’ve got to ask: where is cashier line etiquette these days?

Here's the scenario. After a weekend-long crisis trying to find the perfect pair of brown (the dark shade that's the almost-black chestnut color), closed toe flats, I bought everything but brown shoes. In the middle of a non-brown-shoe-purchase, I approached a cashier just as two people with armloads of items did also. (I would normally let someone with 3 t-shirts go before me if I had bought out the entire men’s section, but that’s just me.) Anyway, ten minutes later there are 3 groups in line behind me and my new friends ahead of me haven’t put a dent in the ringing-up process, so another cashier opens. Instead of taking me, the darling cashier just lets the sneaky (and surprisingly quick and agile) couple behind me dart into her line, never mind that I’ve been waiting in line the longest. So as I realize that no one cares I'm stuck behind Mr. & Mrs. Buy-Out-The-Men's-Section, I leave my place in the slow line and walk around behind the 3 groups who were in line behind me. All these people have seen me standing in line when they walked up, but they have no problem watching me walk to the back of the line behind them. And then two seconds later, someone has the nerve to ask why no one else is in the other line, only to have her friend explain, "It's a single line, and the first available cashier is taking whoever’s next in line.” Um, no.

But I am convinced that in some sort of reverse psychology way, the fact that I take the back of the line is some type of Christian gesture. I refuse to make a scene. I see it as sort of like the “never insist upon the right-of-way while driving” mantra from driver’s ed. My luck, the one time I would snap and berate a fellow customer or salesperson, it would be someone’s neighbor they’d been inviting to church for three hundred forty-nine years, and my outburst would completely taint their effort to convince the poor salesperson we Apostolics are the friendliest group in town, filled with joy unspeakable.

So, if you see me at the back of line the day after Thanksgiving, don’t mind me. I’m just working off the friend turkey and creating my own burlap vest with fringe while I wait.