The Rigors of Moving

As I may have mentioned, I have moved over the last few days, and it has been challenging. If the blog has seemed fragmented, that is because life is fragmented. Thankfully, duct tape has been right there to see me through it all. Not that you care, but here’s a recap of the adaptations I’m making.

Transition from 11 minute one-way commute to a 38 minute one-way commute.

• The Plus Side: More time for morning and evening devotion in the car, right?
  
• The Not so Plus Side: Not to mention my gas billing tripling, 38 minutes? C’mon! I have come away with a message I want to yell to the world: if you are not willing to exceed the speed limit, do not get in the far left lane.

Sunday morning begins with going to the horse trailer to pick out an outfit for Sunday School.

• The Plus Side: I have more original “You Might Be a Redneck If” joke material.
  
• The Not So Plus Side: The “Name that Smell!” game my Sunday School class gets to play at my expense.

Life with animals again.

• The Plus Side: Never a dull moment
  
• The Not So Plus Side: Refer to the “smell” issue and the fact that drama never ceases. Tuesday a horse attacked my Dad. Twelve stitches to the head later, he’s fine. But it definitely makes me think twice before tangling with any of the critters.
  

The change of address.

• The Plus Side: Roommates and I no longer have to practice the “go in pairs” rule for trips to the mailbox at night.
  
• The Not So Plus Side: I no longer have an out when it comes to jury duty. (Should I be ashamed of getting out of jury duty? What kind of person am I? Between being late with taxes and that, I must be horrible. But then again, do we really want me deciding someone’s fate. I think not. Especially after one of those 38 minute one-way commutes.)
  

But despite all the frustrations, the good news is that… it’s Cinco de Mayo! Did you know that Cinco de Mayo means 5th of May? I’m serious. It's such a major revelation for me. I have no idea the historical significance behind the holiday, but fortunately Chantell, ninetyandnine’s new monthly blogger, gives us a breakdown. I loosely translate it to mean “Fiesta!” So happy May 5th to you and may your Cinco be a good one!

Breaking Blog News!

Infamous Apostolic Webzine Renounces Organized Sports!
In a stunning move spearheaded by the rebel editor otherwise known as kDc, a popular A/P webzine cut all ties to the athletic world early this morning. In a statement released by the firebrand leader, kDc cited a paranoia that the Astros would “win the big one this year” among the reasons for the split.

“No more sports. No more ‘Stros. Just Brangelina coverage 24-7!”
--kDc

READ THE FULL STORY HERE!

The Truth, Whatever that Is
Of course you understand I’m merely joshing. This is a moving-crazed bridesmaid’s attempt at humor. The real story is that The Benchwarmer(s) is evolving (can I use that word without scaring you(?)) into a broader scope to include cultural coverage.

For the Love of Sports
Now don’t panic. The guys have not renounced sports. Bradley’s loyalty to the Astros ranks right up their with my love for duct tape. So you’re sure to still get the latest coverage in sports happenings. However, you’ll also get insight on cultural events from three distinct perspectives. That’s exciting to me because frankly there are days when I don’t care about the world around us and don’t want to provide any degree of intelligent reporting on it. It will be a relief to know we can turn to the new blog for clever coverage of life at large.

And Lady Makes Three
Like me, I’m sure you’ve been enjoying the addition of Denelle at The Benchwarmer(s) lately. It’s been a good mix, and to our delight, Denelle will be joining the boys in this new endeavor.

New Name and New Shoes
Well in case you haven’t stopped by yet today, you’ll be in for a double take. The look has changed temporarily with more redesign to come. And… you can be the official namer of the blog! That’s right. The new blog needs a new name, and your entries are welcome! Check the soon-to-be-named blog for details on entering the contest.

Congrats and kudos to my pals David, Bradley, and Denelle on the new blog! Can't wait!

Top 10 Signs You're Avoiding Studying for Finals

Roomy and I went to LSU to work last night. It was finals time, so among the many memories I enjoyed were those of all night cram sessions and 4 am trips to MacDonald’s before coffee shops were cool.

In loving tribute to all you poor souls who, unlike me, are consumed with the madness of finals, I've resurrected an old top 10 for you (not that any of the following ever applied to me, of course).

Top 10 signs you're avoiding studying for finals:

10. You know every detail of the TomKat & Brangelina latest, but can’t remember the name of your Econ professor. You’re just hoping you’ll recognize him the day of the final.

9. The whole “gas prices” thing is getting to you so you make the trip to AutoZone and tell the sales associate that your car only drinks unleaded, but you want to switch her to propane to save a few bucks. When he laughs, you go home and start researching how to make your own ethanol.

8. Next you realize you’ve been awake for 39 hours and haven’t eaten. A trip to Wal-mart results in a 3 hour trance in the aisle while comparing the nutritional value tables of the various brands of rice cakes.

7. You write a song in Wal-mart with the help of the sales associates in the electronics department that never changes key and revolves around the single refrain, "I am a slacker." You ask them if they will consider recording it with you, but only on the condition that you get to drive the tour bus.

6. You return home to reorganize your sock drawer, stopping each time you find a sock without a mate to sing tearfully to it "Oh How He Loves You and Me."

5. You then give the comforted sock a ten-minute pep talk about just hanging in there--the right sock'll come along some day.

4. You decide to count all the money in your piggy bank but then spend the rest of the day in severe depression when you realize: "Oh yeah...I'm a poor, penniless college student, and I have no money.”

3. So you decide to change your major for the nevermindth time, realizing that this now means instead of having 18 hours left before graduation, you have 97.

2. You scratch that idea and instead plan a covert operation to take down the Bill Gates empire and start a computer dynasty named something to the effect of "I am the richest person on the planet, even though I failed all my finals in the spring of 2006."

And the #1 sign you're avoiding studying for finals:

1. You're reading this!

Get back to work and good luck, everybody!

Azusa Reports

The Azusa Street Centennial Celebration was held over the weekend (April 25 - 29). My sources report that somewhere between 750-1000 people got the Holy Ghost in the services/dramas!

Ninetyandnine will have articles and a link to at least one podcast on Monday. Be sure to tune in.

Were you there? Have you heard the reports? Post a comment and share.

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Book News: Publishing Ethics

Is there such a term as “publishing ethics”? If not, there needs to be. At the rate of nearly one scandal a month in 2006, it seems that the way writers and the publishing world deal with moral issues is coming under the microscope.

A Brief History of Big Headlines
Jan 2006 - Oprah Book Club author admits to embellished memoirs

Mar/Apr 2006 – Copyright case over potential plagiarism in The Da Vinci Code; Dan Brown cleared

The Latest
Little Brown has an author in trouble. A Harvard sophomore admits to “accidentally” plagiarizing over 40 pages of a novel. How “accidental” the plagiarism remains to be seen. But the passages are extremely similar, and it leaves a lot of questions about book content theft.

Trends in 2006
In my research, I can’t find an article that looks at the many recent headlines of 2006 to isolate trends. But I think the many big cases that have cropped up speak volumes about publishing ethics and author accountability. Writers and readers alike need to be more cognizant of the moral issues that surround the publishing industry. We should demand more.

Lagniappe
In creating this blog, I ran across an interesting article: “Word for Word: More and more pastors lift entire sermons off the internet—but is the practice always wrong?” Ever wondered if sermons can be plagiarized? Apparently so.