Wedding Announcements, A Sunday Habit

One of my habits on Sunday is to read the wedding announcements in my local newpaper.
Something bugs me about them, and I finally figured out what it is...the academic-employment paragraph. For example, I'm reading one today where Bob is pursuing such-and-such degree from the Univeristy of Georgia and hopes to teach and coach in a local school system. I didn't even know the paper would print fiction, but if I could go back and do mine over, I would have put: Stu hopes to earn 100k per year without performing any manual labor and can spend most weekdays reducing his golf handicap to a "1."

The other annoying part is when there is too much info (FYI) about the subject's employment: Bob is Shift #3 Supervisor of the gizzard stripper at the Cagle's Chicken Processing Plant, in the Plucker Division.

So please, when listing your wedding, be truthful, but not all the way inclusive, and list only your present accomplisments, which for a guy should read: Bob washes his socks every month now instead of every other month. He has taken up teeth brushing, and can prepare frozen meals in the microwave without explosions. He hopes his bride-to-be can take over the sock washing duties (and can change the oil in his car).

Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail me!