I Think It's Me

“The statistics on sanity are that one out of every
four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.”
-- Rita Mae Brown

“Guess who’s back . . . Shady’s back . . .”
As I sit down at my computer, fingers poised over the keyboard to once again write for a deeply spiritual and highly respected institution, why on earth can I think about nothing but old Eminem songs? Can there possibly be anything less Christ-like than Eminem songs? What’s wrong with me???

If my current state of mind is a bit unstable right now, I blame that on a whole month of nothing but Stuart Kent, uncensored! That’s more than enough to make one start laughing giddily, hearing annoying songs playing in one’s head and nailing down one’s yard with posters that read, “Kent Curry for President 2008!” Of course, since I like feelings like that (current annoying song excluded), I’m currently circulating a petition for Stu to take up blogging permanently. If you’d like to add your John Hancock, please shoot me an e-mail.

Like Kent, Some People – Stu Included – Make Easy Targets
Allow me a minute to get something straight about what Stu’s been telling us this past month . . . he’s a fireman, a position recently voted “Sexiest Job in US,” who is now working around a whole lotta women. Does that sound like a deadly combo or what? I sure hope he has enough smelling salts and pepper spray in his scrub pockets to keep all those female nurses from either swooning or attacking him, especially if his claim of looking like Nicholas Cage isn’t as wildly exaggerated as it sounds. Poor Stu. I know how mindless women can be sometimes. We all should pray for him.

My Life, In Which Thumb Twiddling is Considered an Extreme Sport
What a hard act to follow; what an exciting life firemen have! I wish I could say the same for myself, but the following pathetic but true story should illustrate how humdrum my life is: A few weeks ago I had a suspicion my mother had been snooping through My Documents on my computer and my e-mail. When I confronted her at dinner the next evening, my dad piped up.

“Oh yeah, she told me about that!” he said. “She said you must have a very boring life.”

Sad, that my mother would find her life so boring she’d stoop to sneaking around in mine, only to find out I’m worse off than she is! Yes, this is 25-year-old Grandma Wendy, reporting for blogging duty. You guys ready for my exciting stories about sock knitting and bingo night? Just kidding . . . sort of.

“Yes, she’s back . . . Wendy’s back . . .”
. . . for a whole 31 days, at least! Boy, does it feel good to be a blogger again; there are so many things that need a good raking over the coals! Ah, choices, choices; where to begin?

Heh, heh. Still kidding. I like to think my days of sarcastic and cynical writing are over, but we’ll see. My mentor seems to think you guys will still like me without my “teeth,” but we’ll see about that too.

On a recent post, a blogger friend of mine remarked that I seemed to have dropped off the radar since I left Just a Little Bit Odd. Well, I certainly have done that, but it really wasn’t my choice at all. Our home was damaged in Hurricane Rita this past September, and we are still a long way from normal. It’s only been within the past month and a half that I finally got regular, reliable Internet service. So if I haven’t been reading your blog, or if we’ve been out of touch, I’m sorry. I’m just now getting back into the groove of things, and I hope to be back up to speed before long.

So stick around! I have a feeling things are going to start getting more exciting real soon . . .

Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail me!