Musical Notes

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, where people all over the world celebrate the life of a legendary saint by committing various sinful activities! This is a weird world.

Stu Picks a Real Winner

(And I am not referring to a real winner picked from the confirmed existence of Stu’s one nostril. Yuck!)

No, actually, what I’m referring to is Stu’s recognition of a rising star in the music industry, Matisyahu. A month ago, I’d never heard of him. Now, according to Rhapsody, my legal music downloading service, he’s the fourth most popular artist on their Top 15 list. To give you an idea of how popular he’s become with the secular world, he’s up there with such current notables as Jack Johnson (#1), James Blunt (#3), Coldplay (#5) and Kelly Clarkson (#12).

I totally lost my faith in the taste and class of the American listening public when the Black Eye Pea’s “My Humps,” which has got to be the stupidest song ever recorded (even the liberal Slate Magazine agrees with me, calling it “A song so awful it hurts the mind”), hit the number one spot on the charts. Matisyahu’s popularity makes me think that maybe, just maybe, the American listening public can be redeemed. Ironically, on Rhapsody’s Top 40 chart, “My Humps” is sandwiched in between Matisyahu’s “King Without a Crown” and “Fire of Heaven,” at 21 and 23, respectively. Now there’s a contrast for you!

A Mad and Furious Master

And since this has something to do with music . . . Below is an article I started and will probably never finish. However, since I liked what I had so far, though, I decided to post it here:

Rolling Stone magazine recently, although rather unofficially, just named the biggest “nutjob” in the music business. That distinction belongs to Rivers Cuomo, the lead singer of the band Weezer, which first injected itself into public consciousness in 1994 by crooning, “Oooh weee oooh, I look just like Buddy Holly” over and over and most recently with its number one hit single, “Beverly Hills.” It’s a rather dubious honor, to be sure, as the world of rock ‘n’ roll is full of weirdos: Kelly Osbourne and her strange wardrobe, Alanis Morrisette strutting nude in NYC. Madonna. Kiss. Michael Jackson. Need I say more?

In an industry where the weirdest of the weird reign as kings and queens, what stunt could an English major at Havard possibly have pulled to mystify and bewilder even the most jaded mag into questioning whether he was the weirdest man in rock? A two year vow of celibacy, that’s what. Killing chickens onstage a la Marilyn Mason? Yawn. Biting the heads off bats courtesy of Ozzy Osbourne? How cliché. But a two year vow of celibacy. Now that’s strange.

A brilliant, raw and surprisingly unpretentious essay entitled, “A Mad and Furious Master,” posted on Cuomo’s myspace account was quickly deleted by his PR people, but not before getting copied and pasted onto another forum by a fan of his. In it, Rivers describes the excesses of self-indulgence that led to his taking a two-year vow of celibacy. “I thought that if indulging my desires only led to more suffering, then maybe resisting them would bring me peace.”

In the essay, Rivers unintentionally gives voice to the futility of attempting virtuous deeds purely on human effort, concluding that he seemed to be experiencing more suffering than peace. In desperation, he turns to another honorable establishment in the hopes that it, instead, might appease his desires – marriage: “I concluded that modern society was just not conducive to celibate living for a single, successful musician. Marriage, which once had seemed as undesirably permanent as a tattoo, now seemed to be the one, clear hope for my coming out of my longing. It would allow me to have a peaceful physical relationship with one person and continue my work in society without constantly having to fight or give in to the temptations all around. I promised myself to remain celibate until either my wedding day or the end of my vow, whichever came first, and set about trying to find a wife.”

He describes several humorous but failed attempts at online dating: “In retrospect, I probably should not have described myself as someone who is all 5’s looking for someone who is all 10’s.” Finally, he decides to “find someone the old-fashioned way, face to face. College, which I had never quite finished before, was probably my best bet. I made all the arrangements and busied myself writing out a list of the qualities I sought in a partner, so that I could be sure to recognize her as soon as I saw her.”

His plans fall flat, however, when the women he dates refuse to respect his vow of celibacy. In desperation, he turns to extremes: “I was devastated that my desires, it appeared, had led me again into pain, and caused pain for someone else. All alone in my apartment, now, I decided to try a new tack to escape my longing. I made a strong determination to avoid the sight of women altogether.” Needless to say, such a fruitless resolution doesn’t last long: “What would I do with them if I never had kids? My life yawned out before me, no wife, no kids, and seemed unbearably lonely. I decided that I had to at least keep my life open to the possibility of meeting someone and starting a family. With this vague resolution in mind, I headed back to school” but admits what he really needs is help with his sexuality.

Face to face with utter failure, Rivers utters quite an eloquent depiction of a search for peace without Christ as its fulfillment: “After all this time supposedly mastering my cravings, I’m still just as confused, frustrated, and lonely as ever. On top of that, my vow is almost up and I’ll soon have to choose what to do next. . . Am I going to high-tail it back to the next party at the Playboy Mansion? Am I going to find the love of my life by some miracle? Am I going to renew my vow for another two years, or ten years, or life? I have no idea . . . And you know what? It doesn’t even matter which path I choose when my vow is over, I’m still going to have to face my completely incompatible cravings for promiscuity, companionship, and solitude. There is no one right choice that will magically bring me peace and ease the longing in my heart.”

In a society that promotes commitment-free sex and promiscuity as the ultimate in fun and fulfillment, undergirded especially by the entertainment industry, Rivers Cuomo stands as a refreshing reminder that underneath the glitzy and glamorous propaganda is the big, fat lie that lust brings love and companionship always equals satisfaction . . .

Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail me!