Fireman's Dream Come True

Here is a fireman's dream come true...but unfortunately, most of our rescues involve citizens weighing 300 pounds+. Rescue is also very rare, especially babies. Maybe once in a lifetime. This photo is hilarious and I'm guessing this fellow paid $5 at the county fair to have this staged photo taken of himself and semi-clad girlfriend. I finally figured out how to post photos here, so look out! Stu's Photo Phun is on the way! Mothers hide your daughters! Fathers hide your sons! Run for the Hills! Oh yeah, Bill Clinton, Brad Pitt and Beetle Bailey are 3 guys who avoided U.S. military service. Did you get it right?

Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail me!

A: Bill Clinton, Brad Pitt, and Beetle Bailey

Q: Name 3 guys with a first name that begins with the letter "B."
Sorry to snag you on that one, but I had to prepare you for the whole inflammatory cartoon issue. Who can recall when citizens were duking it out in the streets of Nuremburg when a 1946 Peanuts cartoon depicted Snoopy as an Ace Pilot in a dogfight against the Red Baron of Germany? Or the Jerusalem Riots of '72 when Dagwood sported a nose that "looks Jewish, but is definitely Palestinian?" And the latest genocide rampage by an angry mob of Jihistport, Elbonian government officials when Dilbert was sent "as punishment" to Elbonia? I personally believe that cartoonists should be more responsible when trying to get a quick laugh out of the public.

Where is Tiger Woods?
I'm looking for Tiger Woods today in the PGA Pro-Am but he's nowhere to be found. Someone typically wins these Tigerless matches with the name "Tee Schlonker," "Biff Butchingham," or "Nghamn Phoglamnghn." In other words, golfers who have contracts with Earl's Tire And Appliance are winning major tournaments so long as Tiger is absent. But Mr. Woods is all about the 4 Majors, and winning enough of the minor tourneys to keep his #1 world ranking. Yeah, I know this isn't a sport blog, but golf is the best sport, but please don't tell anyone: greens fees are high enough as it is!

An Apostolic Alcoholic
I'd rather have a bottle-in-front-o'-me than a frontal lobotomy. Ain't words great? I'm not sure what English language label we give such wordplays, but they are fun, and I will post yours if you have one. Actually, since the AA says that "once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic," then I qualify. I was a college beer-aholic but was and still am delivered by the power and grace of Jesus: Immanuel—God With Us. And now I'm a confirmed Apostolic.
I'm a Kent-apostle/Pentecostal (boooo). Don't worry, I haven't quit my day job, yet.


Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail me!

Weddings, Weekends, and Wain

That's Elmer Fudd's predictions for this weekend. First, Cara Davis of ninentyandnine.com and Relevant fame has written a book, Cheap Ways to Tie the Knot. She tells how to plan a wedding for under $5000. If a guy had written this book, namely, me, Stu, then the subtitle would be, "How to plan a Church wedding for under $5." That is the guy method. But thank God for ladies and weddings and marriage in general. Otherwise, the male population would be limited to activities such as golf.

How To eat Lunch For Under $5
At the Firehouse today, my goal is to eat lunch for under $5. That's the way it's been for the fifteen years I've been here. We go to "The Store" meaning, grocery store, and procure items which total, divided by number of men eating which equals $5 or less. And boy, do we eat! Four or five porkchops apiece, potsfull of greenbeans, rice, squash, peas, mashed potatoes, and a 24" frying pan of cornbread. One fireman, Woody, used to say, "Eat 'til ya puke, or [require an underwear change]. Eating lunch is the highlight of the firehouse day. Except now I'm resigned to eating two $1 Lean Cuisines® since no one cooks or is on a diet.

Olympics Begin, Tomb discovered, and Tragedy
The Winter Olympics began Friday, as evidenced by atheletes of various nations sliding via various pedal attachments across ice or snow. A tomb was discovered in Egypt which was the first found since the tomb of King Tut. Who remembers the Steve Martin song, King Tut? I do. So check the link and hum the song today. On a serious note, I was renting a video at Blockbuster Thursday night and saw blue lights bathing the parking lot of Wal-Mart across the street. A deranged ex-husband shot his wife in her car, then shot himself. Please pray for this family, as she left behind 3 kids. She was a school teacher in Crawford County.

Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail me!

Stu Rides Again!

Yeah, I'm Stu, and I'm not anonymous like some of the past bloggers here. I live in Macon, Georgia, home of Otis Redding and Capricorn Records. I'm 6'3" and 230lbs, I can bench 250 and walk a mile without wanting a Camel. I'm doing 24 hours at the firehouse tomorrow, looks like rain, and sleep. That's right, sleep. I haven't forgotten to blog, it's just that the wife was off today and we had to go...shopping. Went to Lowe's, Jacque Pinets, and Sonic. What a great life! What a great day off! What a great day (tomorrow) to go back to work! Oh, I did say that I'm a fireperson and commute exactly one mile to my station? Atlanta who?

Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail me!

Stress Relief Tips from YOU!

I (Stu from Macon, GA) wrote here Tuesday asking for stress relief measures after prayer, walking, and avoiding caffeine, since I have done all that. Not to say that prayer doesn't work, it's just my brain wasn't giving up the adrenaline. So you commented, all 4 of you, and I say: THANK YOU! I remembered what helped me on Saturday night after all day of testing, documenting, and helping patients: CHURCH IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM! Yes, the wife and I went out to eat Saturday afternoon, and when we walked in the lobby of the Holiday Inn Suites in Lawrenceville, Georgia, I heard...PRAISE! I walked over to the conference room and hunched against the wall to figure out what group (believers) was worshipping, a cappella. My friend, it was glorious!

PRAISIN' Him
So, I stayed hunched against the wall, and the beautiful sounds of people praising God with only a tambourine and their voices was incredible! I only listened for about 3 minutes, as the wife wanted sleep since I kept her up the night before tossing and turning. But there was the praise, and I wanted to go in. But it was the most stress-relieving thing...soothing...the answer I was looking for. I slept like a brick all night, woke up feeling refreshed and passed the toughest exam of my life! Praise is comely to the upright.

Back From the Ivory Tower
Now that I don't spend every day with nose pressed firmly in textbooks, it's time to look around and see what's happening in the world. I read the Sunday New York Times (2/5) that my Dad faithfully mails me every Monday after it arrived via post on Wednesday. Egyptian cruise ship sinks, Insurgents and Iraqis hard to tell apart, a new Supreme Court justice and the wimpy Dems who voted him in (I appreciate their lack-of-spine), New Orleans wants the guv'ment to send MORE CASH!, and Enron execs have really good, really high-paid lawyers (Which min-security facility has the best fairway turf?).

Stu News available
I need to write a few headlines here myself, to boost the morale of these here United States and Foreign Folk who live here and in their own country. Please feel free to forward these sentiments in headline form to the Congressperson of your choice:

1. Election 2008: I Won't Run For President, says Hillary
2. The Iraq Situation: Giant Metal Detector Placed at Jordanian Border (238 miles long).
3. Feds announce New Orleans to become Giant Landfill, All Citizens Moving to Denver!
4. Madonna: I'm Over The Hill, Botox Dependent
5. Rudy Guliani to Hillary: It's Payback Time in 2008!

Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail me!

Hollywood Christian is 100% Genuine Guy

Man, I just read the most incredible interview of Hollywood insider and set designer, Eric Roemheld! The interviewer is Kent Curry, Chief Editor for ninetyandnine.com, the premier apostolic e-zine out here in Netland. Roemheld has designed sets lately for Mr. and Mrs. Smith and has worked on many other big budget films. His honesty is his greatest asset, I believe, after reading his testimony in An Apostolic in Hollywood.
For an insider, his views on movie watching are refreshing, as the guy has an amazing standard for himself and what he allows his family and himself to view. I feel cleansed by simply hearing this fresh voice and perspective on the film industry. Check it out today.

Excuse Me, But There Was a Glitch...
Today, for some reason, this blog o' mine had a major glitch going on. Pardonnez-moi, s'il vous plait. After a two-week hiatus, I did a 24 at the firehouse yesterday, and the bits and pieces of TV that I saw seemed to be innundated with two-guy scenarios. In the Brokeback Mountain sense of the phrase. My first impression of the TV was that there is much female skin flashing around on every channel, selling everything from Burger King Whoppers to toilet paper. God, please wash my brain and I will not yield to the flickering-blue light of the hypnotizing monster. It's everywhere it's everywhere—RUN FOR YOUR LIVES CITIZENS!

A Quick Survey
Take a wild guess at the census of race in America. Write down your guess of what percentage of each race is nationwide and in your own state. Now go to the U.S. Census site and compare. How did you do? Amazing, isn't it? How far you were off? I was off?

Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail me!

Back at the 'House

Waiting For the Bell To Ring
Meanwhile, back at the firehouse, Station #103, life goes on. It rained last night and there were calls all over city and county. But we (shift change at 0730hrs) have only made one call this morning: chest pain at the elementary school next door. One of the cafeteria ladies was hurting and was transported via ambulance after we arrived. It is essential for anyone in this business to handle the quiet times as well as the emergency times. Life for 24 hours at ye olde firehouse can be slo-o-o-o-o-ow.
Here's the link I tried yesterday to my department, the Macon/Bibb County Fire Dept.

Did He Say I'm Addicted to Oil?
President Bush's comment during his speech last week about Americans being addicted to oil still stings a bit. No, I'm not a liberal, but I don't like pumping $2.25 per-gallon gas in my car when I read about oil companies posting a huge profit last quarter. First, President Bush is an oil man, and second, people who drive SUV's and big honkin' trucks are the gasoline addicts, not me. But there is the problem of SUV-meets-cute-little-economical-car head on. The big car wins every time, no matter how many air bags a small car comes equipped with.

How Do You De-stress?
Inquiring bloggers, me, that is, wants to know how to de-stress. I'm asking you, the stress-savvy blog reader who can inform me how to chill after the horrendous weekend I had with my nursing exam. I'm not doing coffee or ice tea (caffeine) today, but I'm still having some heart flutters acting like a space case. I plan on going out for a walk in a minute, and I hope that helps. But if you know of something BESIDES prayer, walking, avoiding caffeine, then please post below. Thanks in advance and God Bless!

The Fireguys
As promised, I will be introducing you to the fireguys: there's "D," Fireball, "Q," The Lou (lieutenant), and moi. We're a sergeant short, but waiting for promotions to fill the spot. That process was gummed up as there was some hanky-panky during promotion testing and the FBI is involved. Yep, Macon, Georgia, town of vice, graft, and espionage.
And then there's the men...

Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail me!

Stu Passed the Exam!!!

Stu passes CPNE, or Clinical Performance Nursing Exam!
Thanks go to the Lord, my wife, and all who prayed for me this weekend...I passed the most stressful exam of my life! May I apologize right now for not posting this info earlier, but the cool-down period has been slow. We arrived back home from the test site in Atlanta around 2:30 yesterday afternoon. And the fact that I passed is still sinking in!

In a very brief note, I will relay the details, maybe 2 sentences at best. Traditional nursing students spend time at the hospital (clinical setting) working with patients and learning equipment and procedures. But the distance learning program I chose through Excelsior College mandates a 3-day event whereby one must perform 100% acuurately during 3 patient scenarios or else fail. Forget to wash hands at the appropriate time once and fail. Okay, that's three sentences. Now on to bigger and better news and blogging.


Fireman-to-Paramedic-to-Nurse (RN)
So, how, you may ask, do you get from fireman to nurse? Well, about 75% of emergency calls are now medical, both at my fire department and nationwide. I respond to auto accidents, cardiac arrests, medical emergencies in the home which includes all illnesses that compromise the heart, lungs, or brain. It took me about three years to get the stomach for those kinds of calls, and I went to EMT school for four quarters at the tech school in order to test for a state EMT license. I took a 2 week break and did another year in paramedic school, and passed that, got the license. I worked on an ambulance part time for a year while working full-time as a fireman, and to me, ambulance work is the same as RN work except working conditions consist of 4 wheels and motion sickness instead of concrete flooring.


A Male Nurse, You Say?
Oh yeah, you got that right! Nursing is still dominated by the fairer sex, otherwise known as females. At my exam this weekend I was the one male out of eight students. Not that I don't enjoy the presence and company of the female population, but it is a 180° reversal from having near 100% male firemen at my present job. But RN pay is a whole lot better than fireman pay, so I will soon bid adieu to the Macon/Bibb County Fire Department. It's a tough life changing from working with 100% men to nearly 100% women, but somebody's gotta do it. It might as well be me.

Oh, my wife is well versed on the situation and in full support. In case you asked.


Back On Track
Phew, now that that's over, there should be no gaps in my blog for the month of February. My apologies to you again, and also thanks go to my editors at ninetyandnine.com who believed that it was possible for a brother to pass the exam and start a blog in the same week. I need to compare the feeling by comparison, if I may take a brief moment...Taking this CPNE was more stressful than watching my child being born, witnessing death and dismemberment at trauma calls on the F.D. (fire dept.), and the morning of my wedding. On Saturday afternoon when I had one more patient to see, I thought for a few moments that I was having an M.I., or myocardial infarction (heart attack), and I don't say that as a cliche or simile.

Thanks for reading! Life is good! It's going to be a great February! Go buy a valentine today!

Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail me!