I Left Out ninetyandnine.com!!!!!!!!!

Talking about internet dependency earlier, I left out my mainstay site, ninetyandnine.com. After Sunday evening service, I come home and check immediately to see if the new week's zine is up, yet. If not, then I'll recheck, even click on Archives to see if maybe one or two articles are up. If not, then I'll wake up Monday morning and check first thing to see if ninetyandnine's up. If it is, then I'll make the pot o' coffee and have a cup and a read. It's like second nature. I download positive, Jesus inspired articles into my brain, with coffee as catalyst. It makes my whole week, and gets me in a frame of mind to be a confident, world-changin' Apostolic. My hat's off to Mr. & Mrs. Curry and all editors and technical folks who make this thing a reality week after week after week. Most of all, it gives you, the unappreciated, humble Christian a chance to let your voice be heard, whether in an article, survey, or letter-to-the-editor. SO, don't be anonymous, submit today and see your name in lights. And the rest of us will find out what you know.

Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail me!

Internet Dependency Confession

Living in a town where some folk don't trust the bank enough to have a checking account and cash their paycheck every Friday instead of direct depositing, I admit: I'm internet dependent. Here, for your perusal is a list of the services I use, free whenever possible, to manage life in general:

1. Wachovia - free online banking
2. TurboTax - Federal/State income tax filing program
3. Mail - yahoo.com (free) e-mail
4. News - AOL, CNN, New York Times (all free)
5. Weather - The Weather Channel (free)
6. Shopping - ebay, half.com (textbooks), Amazon
7. Paying Bills - All companies participating (save that 39 cents per!)
8. Great Sermons - Lifeteaching.org (fantastic teaching)

I heard a couple of years ago about a guy who was going to stay in his house for one year, depending on the internet to provide all his services for him (e.g. buying groceries online and having them delivered). He supposedly would receive a large cash prize if he did it, but I never heard the end result of whether he made it or not. If you think about doing it, then use the above sources and links, so you too can live for one year in your bunny slippers.

Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail me!

Win A Free Copy Of Firework!

That's right, you can win a free signed copy of my freshman effort at book publishing (includes free shipping), entitled, Firework. All you have to do is guess the day that I began my illustrious career of saving life and property, in that order. You may think that this is a cheap attempt to get folks to read my blog...you're right. But you will enjoy the book, even though I don't guarantee it. I mean, the odds are only 356-to-1 that you can win a FREE BOOK. Think of it like you did when you tried to win a free guitar at the Mercy Me site. My score was a million something but the top score was a billion something. Some kid spent his entire Christmas holidays earning that score. But all YOU HAVE TO DO is make a guess. I didn't say lucky since I don't believe in luck. Place your guess in a comment below. Unfortunately you will have to use your name since the U.S. Postal Service® won't deliver to anonymous. Try it today! Offer prohibited in areas where dental care unlawful! Your mileage may vary! Do not guess if you are prone to acites palpitations angina hemmorrage or diabetes.

Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail me!

Stu Does the E.C.

I worked at the E.C., (Emergency Center) today. I'm checking it all out before I decide where to stay in my new career as RN. There was no real excitement today such as gunshot wounds, auto traumas, baby deliveries, or cardiac arrests. It was similar to the floors since the hospital is crammed with sick folk and patients have nowhere to go. The atmosphere is definitely a lot seedier, more f-bombs and profane chatter heard throughout, crude jokes, and sexual innuendoes. And that was the females. I remembered (from medic days) that the EC is where all rich and poor alike come in to expose their hazardous deeds and lifestyles. But the day flew by and there were guys to talk with. More like the firehouse.

Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail me!

Flag On Iwo Jima

Today, and you already have the mental image of it, the U.S. flag was planted (1945) on a hill in Iwo Jima. In a related story and image, three fireguys were captured via camera planting a U.S. flag atop the debris at the World Trade Center wreckage after 9/11.

Thanks for reading, and be sure to press "0" repeatedly when attempting to reach a live human for customer service on the phone. It works.

Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail me!

Today In History: Florida Won In Poker Game

On this day in history February 22, 1819, U.S. Secretary of State John Quincy "The Bluffer"Adams signed the Florida Purchase Treaty after Spanish Minister Jebusho Bushado loses a fierce poker match. He later challenged Adams to a "mean game of Hai Alai" in the attempt to get Florida back. Disney World was discovered the next week. All persons speaking a language other than English were shot.

Ted Kennedy was born on this day in 1932, though it was not announced to authorities until the next day, a mere 200 years after the Father of our Country George Washington(b. 1732) was born, also on February 22, who admitted to authorities the same day that the cherry tree was indeed chopped down.

Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail me!

What About Surfing Porn?

Man. Talk about controversial. But I was reading at pureonline about the 70 million folks worldwide that check out 1 porn site each day. Parade magazine dedicated its front cover to erasing child porn, mainly via internet channels. But oh, you say, what does this have to do with us, Apostolics, that is? Well, unless you have a filter it is easy and quite innocent even to click on the wrong link and get partial or full nudity on the internet. Including music videos and "funny" videos, "funny" often meaning nude. There are tons of video sites that have short clips of folks doing things that border on hardcore porn. At xxxchurch.com they will send you software that makes your surfing habits known to accountable friends who will "bust" the guilty party. I haven't read through the entire site, but it looks like they're extremely helpful. Who is honest enough to come clean and stop cruising sites that are not conducive to walking with God? And, of course, there is a constant parade of scantily dressed persons waving, floating and dancing across sites as advertisement. Your monitor is your personal billboard. What are they selling you today? If thy right clicker finger offend thee...cut it off?

Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail me!

I Believe In Angels

Stu here, after a 24-hour stint at firework. I always think that the Lord is watching over me, no matter what hazardous situation I find myself in. We were out patrolling businesses yesterday, performing a few building inspections and later went to Chick-Fil-A for a 99-cent cone. Two of us went in, the other two waited in the truck. Less than one minute before we walked out with icecream-in-hand, a rogue, driverless car came whizzing through two parking lots, crossed a street and smashed into the rear of our firetruck. A few seconds earlier, and I would have been in the direct path of the car, a Nissan Pathfinder (not actual photo). There was no driver, but there was definitely an angel keeping me inside the store for about 30 seconds longer. I also believe in guardian angels. The driver finally showed up and reported that his car was facing the opposite direction, so we still cannot figure out how his car made such a miraculous journey. God is good. Life is good. Thank you Jesus.

Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail me!

One Third of U.S Republicans Want Curry

(AP) - Many GOP supporters in the United States would like ninetyandnine.com editor Kent Curry to launch a White House bid in 2008, according to a poll by Gallup released by CNN and USA Today. 33 per cent of respondents would support Curry in a primary election.
Arizona senator John McCain is second with 28 per cent, followed by Virginia senator George Allen with seven per cent, Tennessee senator Bill Frist with six per cent, Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney with three per cent, and Kansas senator Sam Brownback and U.S. state secretary Condoleezza Rice with one per cent each.

Please comment (below) on which candidates you would most likely support for the Republican nomination for president in the year 2008, or if you would support someone else. Virginia senator George Allen; Kansas senator Sam Brownback; Tennessee senator Bill Frist; Missouri Editor Kent Curry; Arizona senator John McCain; Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney. Also, please request a free brochure for waterfront property available in St. Louis.

Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail me!

Firefighter Voted Sexiest Job in U.S.

No, I'm not making this up! Check out aol.com and see the sexiest occupation vote results. But before you start seeing images of sootfaced, square-jawed stud muffins holding axes in studio poses, check out the very realistic photo above. This is the real job depiction, a fireman in a hazardous position, standing in someone's attic that is probably too hot and smoky to breathe in, looking for some fresh air. Then notice the fire leg on the ladder next to his head. That leg is attached to a guy in full turnout gear attempting to climb a ladder laid flat on an extremely steep roof. The slip-and-fall factor is at death level. Firefighting sexy? Only if you agree that imminent death, broken limbs or damaged lungs contribute to sexiness. To me, we are the highest paid janitors paid by the City. We clean up everybody else's mess, whether from the fact that a house or business burns, scattered wreckage from auto acidents litters the streets, or sick bodies need transporting. We clean it up. We clean up floods, fires, and fatalities. Sexy.

Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail me!

Male Nurse?

HEY! Who you callin' nurse? Okay, so my guns aren't as big as the fellow in the Johnson&Johnson ad (see right). But J&J is trying to change the image of the nursing population to include us, males, that is. This picture was tacked on the wall on my floor at the hospital where I've been working since April, and it was comforting to know and see that, not only are there male nurses out there besides me, but there are male nurses that can crush my head like a bag of chips.
I am outnumbered at the hospital, and textbooks lean heavy on the "she" instead of "he" pronouns. So I'm a pilgrim in a woman's world, trying to edge in and make a career for myself. Some of the older nurses resent me (I feel) while others welcomed me into the business. Now I know how women who become firepersons feel.
So, 1. I'm not gay, and 2. Nursing, to me is the next step after paramedic in the chain of things in patient care. Nursing is caring for patients without the moving box, otherwise know as the ambulance. And don't call me ambulance driver, either!

Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail me!

The Lady...

Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail me!

Firefighter Saves Lady From Burning House

He had just saved her from a fire in her house, rescuing her by carrying her out of the house into her front yard, while he continued to fight the fire.

When he finally got done putting the fire out, he sat down to catch his breath and rest.

A photographer from the Charlotte, North Carolina newspaper, "The Observer," noticed her in the distance looking at the fireman.

He saw her walking straight toward the fireman and wondered what she was going to do.

As he raised his camera, she came up to the tired man who had saved her life and the lives of her babies and kissed him just as the photographer snapped this photograph...

Better Homes and Cara's Book - NEW!

Cara Davis has just written a new wedding guide, Cheap Ways To Tie the Knot, with the subtitle, How to plan a church wedding for under $5000. Since the national average cost of a wedding is $30,000, this looks like the book you need to save money, and to keep from entering marriage hopelessly in debt. Read more at Cara's blog, CheapWays To. This is her first book, plus she has landed the editorship at a new women's magazine, tba this spring. Unfortuanately, she did not edit my first book, Firework, or else she could have showed me how to save $4000, namely, by not publishing it at all. SO, what are you waiting for? GO BUY Cara's book! Click on the link above to get to the order page. Are you there yet?
(Oh yeah, Cara is also associate editor at ninetyandnine.com.)

Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail me!

Ted Turner To Buy ninetyandnine.com

Ted Turner announced today a possible merger with Time-Warner and ninetyandnine.com. Of course, he was fired from Time-Warner a while back, so the business deal is not likely to go down. On the bright side, the weather is available via satellite map at The Weather Channel online. I'm an addict, I'll admit, but I do know what's happening in the atmosphere. I access it via aol.com, which I take advantage of freely, since I paid $24.90 a month for way too many years. Clogged up m'RAM and threatened a hostile takeover. Now I'm with bellsouth.net DSL Lite and loving it.

Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail me!

Firehouse Chili Recipe Revealed!

On a cold,rainy day in Macon, Georgia, it is time to whoop up a mean pot o' chili! Stu here again,with a secret recipe, time tested, and friendly to the environment. The best part: easy to make.

Ingredients:
1 lb. hamburger/chuck/round/sirloin
1 can dark red kidney beans
1 can chili-hot beans
1 can tomato sauce 15 oz.
1 can crushed tomatoes 15 oz.
1 can tomato paste(tiny)
Water as needed.
Premium Saltines -or-
Fritos 10 oz. bag
Sharp Cheddar cheese

Directions: Brown hamburger, dump in with all other ingredients (except crackers, cheese). Cook all day in Crockpot, or at least one hour stovetop. For fantastic variation of this recipe, use deer meat instead of beef. Also, use the type of beans you prefer instead of kidney beans.
Serves 6-8.

Note: The fireman that gave me this recipe has won the chili cook-off in Middle Georgia in the past. Also, it tastes pretty dang good. Feed it to your friends today, or else your enemies who will become friends after they eat some. For higher elevations, use Yak meat instead of beef.

Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail me!

Dave Barry is the Man

Dave Barry is definitely the MAN, even though on a year's hiatus from column writing. Read his Year In Review 2005
I also recommend Dave Barry's:

* Guide to Guys
* Boogers Are My Beat
* Money Secrets 2006.

These will get you started, else go to the above link and read recent columns. If that doesn't do it, then go to his official site at davebarry.com
If you find the video link to lighting a grill in5 seconds with rocket fuel, send it to me, please.

Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail me!

Sundays Ain't Newspaper Reading Day

We Apostolics are a dancing folk, as you can see in this photo of us in our new Family Life Center. It'll be our Gym as soon as we build our new sanctuary out in front of this building. A Month In The Life of Stu would NOT be complete if I didn't share my Sunday-Go-To-Meetins' with you. I mean, where else can you go and dance til you drop, yell at the top of your lungs, jump up-and-down, run laps on the inside of the building...and not get a hangover the next day? In Macon, Georgia, we call it: "Church."

Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail me!

Stu—Without Wrinkles,Blemishes, or Zits

Wow! This is amazing...Check out this site called fluideffect.com
and it shows before and after shots of famous folk who have photos touched up. It made me feel really ripped off, all those supposedly "perfect" celebs and singers with perfect skin, only to find out that they're products of air-brushing and photo-enhancing software. But then I submitted my own photo, and was quite pleased with the results, as you can see the resemblance between Nicholas Cage and me . Autographs anyone? (Offer prohibited in some states. Your mileage may vary.)

Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail me!