Thursday, May 10, 2007
Seperation of Church and State
I'm very open about my religion at school. It is a way of life for me, and so it's impossible for me to hide it. As a result, a few of my students have come to youth services at my church. One of those students, Harry, has even become a regular attendant.
Harry came in, after declaring himself an agnostic. He got involved, prayed for repentance, accept Jesus as his Savior, and even got baptized. I thought this was great! Unfortunately, things got complicated from there.
I'm one of the Youth Pastors at my church. This put me right in the middle of everything for Harry. He wanted to text me and talk. He wanted to get to know me as a person. This is impossible when I'm also his teacher. There are strict laws about talking to students outside of the classroom.
So after many talks with him and other youth leaders, he had been told several times not to call or text me, but one of the other youth leaders, if he needed anything. We were all beginning to see he had some infatuation with me, not necessarily sexually, but it was as if he was obsessed with me and my opinion of him.
Students talked about Harry and I having this special relationship, and it made things awkward. I found it hard to have control of my class because they felt that I was showing favoritism to Harry. As a result, I finally had to be straight forward and tell Harry in front of the class that I was not his friend nor would I ever be. I am his teacher, nothing more, nothing less.
Today it all came to a head. He couldn't take correction from me, and when I tried to enforce it, he went off about how all of a sudden I decided to be a teacher. Even though he was being completely disrespectful, he was honest. I haven't treated him like a student. I never show my students favoritism, but because I was afraid of hurting Harry's feelings and discouraging him from coming to church, I let him and therefore the other students in the class by with more than I would normally.
It's my first year teaching, and so I'll learn by trial and error. This year and the way I handled Harry was definitely error. I guess I can understand having a separation of church and state now, at least on a personal level. It's just so hard to shut down one area of my life to shield the other area, but it's something I'm going to have to learn fast.
# posted by kdc @ 2:01 PM 
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I am also an educator, and you describe very well a difficult line to walk. I have many students come to me with problems at home (abuse, etc.), and it is so hard to decide where to draw the line between professionalism and reaching the student. Unfortunately, I feel as if I am not reaching as many students as I could - but the alternative would be that I would be dismissed from my job and then not reach any of them on any level.
# posted by 
: 4:08 PM, May 10, 2007
: 4:08 PM, May 10, 2007
That's my situation. I love my kids, and I know that I'm a witness to them everyday. They know that I love them, and for those reasons, I know that I'm doing what God wants me to do. I just have to be so careful at times that it hinders me.
Wow, Kim, I've never had a situation like that as a teacher. Even though you feel you could have handled things better, I applaud you for letting your light shine, being a positive influence, and for seeing your students the way Jesus would. There are very fine lines we have to walk as educators, but you're doing what God wants you to do, and I believe He'll take care of the rest.
My husband is currently experiencing somewhat of a similiar situation. He is a teacher and one of his students is also one of the "kids" at church. He is having to figure out the lines between being who he is at church verses at work. Also, how to draw those lines so that the kid can differentiate between him at church versus him as his teacher at work. Sticky situation....and I think it is compounded in an Apostolic church. For example, if you feel led, should you pray with your "student"? Would that blur the lines (more for the student than for you)? Just questions we've been discussing recently.
# posted by : 9:17 AM, May 11, 2007
: 9:17 AM, May 11, 2007
Some of the kids I teach at Sunday School also go to my school (poor kids can't get away from me!). It is a dilemma - especially when other kids feel you are more friendly with those students. Suggestion to students: please don't call your teacher "sister so and so" at school! There she should be "Mrs. so and so."
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# posted by : 3:50 PM, May 11, 2007
: 3:50 PM, May 11, 2007 << Home
