A Month in the Life

I haven't posted in a while and I'll use the Thanksgiving holiday as my excuse. I hope everyone enjoyed theirs. I've only got a few more days on here. Only a few more posts to get all of your feathers ruffled. Just kidding. That is not my goal. (I have not forgotten about the education post, I do have more comments and if it's the last thing I do on here I will respond. I'm lazy, what do you want?) However, I realize that I've shared very little about myself. Here's a few things you might find interesting.

1) I just got a haircut. It is as short as it has ever been. See that picture up there. Okay, not quite there but almost. (That's the French philosopher Michel Foucault).

2) I love love love spoken word and slam poetry.

3) I just started a new hobby, it's candle making. I've made four votive candles so far and I'm getting better.

5) My girlfriend and I just broke up. I'm having trouble dealing with it. That's probably the real reason I haven't posted on here. She's got me in an existential conundrum. Here's the deal:

I'm single again, whatever that means. I don't understand the word right now. I could go out and meet other people. pretend I'm not in love with another woman. But I always could have done that. The only thing that stopped me then is the same thing that stops me now. That is my love for her.

She is the only person I've ever been with that when we were together other women did not exist. I saw them but the thought of trying to flirt with someone else or be with anyone else never once entered my mind. There was no possibility of temptation. It was an amazing feeling. I've never experienced it before. I hope I can have it again.

No, we didn't have a huge blow up fight and break up. Neither of us met someone else. I didn't fall out of love with her and she didn't fall out of love with me. She needs a break because she's not ready to be in a relationship right now.I don't know how long this is going to be. Maybe it'll be a few weeks, maybe a few months, maybe a few years (the thought of that kills me). It could be forever. I hope to God that it isn't. It sounds cliche but I don't feel like I can live the rest of my life without her right now. So, I hope that it's temporary (however long that is) and that she and I will end up together. When she decides she wants to be in a relationship, I want it to be with me. I will always love her and she is still my best friend. That much we haven't lost.

I'm trying my best to maintain that friendship without being the weepy needy ex-boyfriend. Any advice from people who have been through this "gotta keep the friendship but also have to manage my intense feelings" scenario before is welcome.