A Month in the Life

A good friend who moved away came for a visit this weekend, so we had to go visit the good ole Applebees. The conversation turned to if he thought all of us had changed at all, so when he gets to me he says that I seem more aggressive. Everyone at the table responds that it's because I work with bus kids. I just kind of laughed, but it got me to thinking about why and I think the answer is multifaceted (big word, hope I spelled it right--it's not on the 4th grade spelling list!). When I first came to New Life, I was suffering from burn out and so I just wanted to hide and not do anything. Then, when I did start getting involved, there were so many amazing people that I was very intimidated by them in every aspect. So even thought I was getting involved, I was so intimidated that I wouldn't let the real me come out. Plus, I have this big issue with trusting people to see the real me and most people still don't know the real me, but quizzing has really helped me in that area. My quizzers are very transparent with what they think and feel, and it has caused me to have to be more open and to share who I am and what I think. Little by little, I began to share my life with them and their families and began to get connected to these kids, then their families and friends, and eventually the whole church. Getting connected was a big key in my personality coming out, plus having to be up in front of 15 kids every day helps you to conquer your fears as well. And the Brazzys have really helped me overcome a lot as well. And most of this has all transpired over the last year. I've grown more comfortable with who God has made me which enables me to do more for Him and I feel like a part of my church family now and know that I don't have to fit a certain mold to be accepted. And of course, with the bus kids, I do have to be aggressive and gentle at the same time. I have to make threats and be lovingly mean at times as that is the culture in which they have been brought up. But through it all, they know I love them! So it really is a multitude of reasons that have contributed to the change in personality.

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