A Month in the Life

I read an article in the paper today. It spoke of a pastor who stabbed his wife. Needless to say, my interest was peaked, lol, so I finished the article. (come to think of it, I really act like a 50 year old sometime . . . coffee . . . paper . . . what next . . . bluegrass? oh wait, already listen to that. rofl) SO . . . I just found it kind of humorous that the 'pressures' of ministry were getting to this guy SO much that he resorted to stabbing his wife. (actually it was stated that she was in the wrong for something unnamed, but I like my musing better. ;))

I also had my second favorite dessert today for lunch. That's right . . . THE BLONDIE! dum dum DUM! And they FINALLY made it hot. (usually I can touch my tongue to the skillet and not feel a thing . . . stupid Applebees) And what's the first, you may ask? Cheesecake of course!
And in other daily updates . . . this new "literal adventure" that I've started . . . KICKS BUTT! It's hilarious!

Well, I'm sick of writing out chord progressions so other people who don't know how to "hear" things will know how to play them. (that's what I'm in the middle of doing btw. In case I moved too fast for you to pick up on that. ;)) Plus, I'm craving Starbucks at the moment. So I'm going to head down the road and get some espresso infused goodness. (now aren't you jealous? ;))

Until next time,
Billiam

Well, I'm not usually an emotional person . . . but I just started crying today for no reason. It was pathetically weird. I just wanted to crawl into a corner and scream "I did my best!" (only fellow Dane Cook fans will get that one.) Anyway, I think the worst of it is over. (In actuality, I realized that I was crying in the middle of the situation, and started laughing at myself. So I was crying and laughing at the same time. If that makes any sense.) So now that you know about my deep emotional issues. ;) I really felt like a female at that point. (sry, had to)

I also had the BEST cup of coffee that I think I've had in about six months. It was perfect. Starbucks was treating me right today. It was the kind of coffee that when you sip it, it just goes down smooth and crisp and forces your eyes open. (which is kind of what I was going for at the time. lol) I've also started this new book by Donald Miller, (author of Blue Like Jazz, To Own a Dragon, etc.) It's called "Searching For God Knows What." It's the most challenging and uncomfortable read that I've undertaken in a while. (in a good way.) Well, my Bjork CD just reached the end, so I have to go switch albums, maybe Leeland, who knows. (and yes, I still use CD's, and even Vinyl. Why? It sounds better, of course.) Don't worry, I have an iPod, even though mp3's suck.

Later,
Billiam

Oh btw, let's hope that finals go swimmingly this week. ;)

A slow drizzle begins to soak it's way into the earth as I walk across campus this morning. It is about 9:45 ish. So on top of already being hacked for getting up early, (in my book anyway) I'm cold and wet. So I get my umbrella out of my bag and open it up and continue to walk, and as the rain danced overhead, I stopped . . . and just listened. You should try this sometime. It's really refreshing. I mean, have you ever just stood there with an umbrella overhead and listened to the symphony of a rainstorm coming down upon you. It was the most beautiful natural sound I've ever heard. (maybe I'm just too easily amused lol) But then I began to think. Most people just look at the negative aspects of such days. i.e. "I hate rainy days." "rainy days and Mondays always get me down." "man, I'm just in rainy day mode."

But think, if you will, past all the cliche's of rain and its negativities. Rain is a deep act by a loving God. Have you ever tried to look and find the end of the horizon on a cloudy day? You can't. It's expansive! I tried today. I have a bad habit of trying to "quantify" God. I limit God to "what I can understand of Him." And often fail to realize/remember that the majority of God lies in fact in what I don't understand. The physical falling or precipitation involved in what we call "rain" is only a necessary means to an end. The real purpose of rain wasn't to "get us wet," believe it or not. lol Travel back to highschool biology with me. After rain falls, the ground soaks it up and uses it for nutrients. In other words, a deeper, unseen thing happens. And alot of the time it's the same way with the "negative" things in our life. If we can learn to last through the uncomfortable "wetness," then we will realize the deeper purpose that God intended.

That's enough philosophy for one day,
Billiam

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There, I feel "semi-better." lol I'm having DSP issues at the moment. By 'DSP,' I mean, Digital Signal Processing. It's a term used to refer to the amount of power that a computer processor allocates for the digesting and processing of audio information and how well it can spit it out upon receiving such data. Well, let's just say that I'm choking the life out of this Mac's little DSP pumping heart. ;) I'm pounding at it until it screams "NO MORE NO MORE!!!" Anyway . . . . back to planet earth. I'm mastering a project at the moment. I know, big fun, right? So, I got bored, and decided to make this rant bigger than my 4x4' cubical-type dwelling at the moment. And with that said, I'm done being upset, because I just got this stupid machine to do what I wanted it to do. Yay, me. I also had this REALLY bad cup of Zen tea today. And as long as I'm listing the negatives, I'm hot. (not in a "really gorgeous" way. Though that IS up for debate. lol) More like a "Good grief! Am I in hell?" kind of way. And I have NO control of the AC here on campus. But regardless, God's good. And always worthy. And it always makes me feel really small that the "worthy" one would even consider much less visit the "worthless." However, since the owner of an item usually determines its worth . . . I feel pretty good in knowing that I'm owned/purchased by God Himself. Ok, I'm done rambling. Although, with God, I could ramble till breath escaped from my lungs altogether.

Later,

"All that I am is lost in Who You Are." -- Billiam

I don't really want an answer, I just like that word and it's pertinence to God and His ways. lol So, the strangest thing happened to me over the weekend. Ok, I'll just start the story and hope that I don't go off on my usual tangents.

I had finished "organizing" or "pseudo-organizing" our youth service on Saturday. And by "organizing" I just mean, fixing sound system problems, recording performance soundtracks, ('cause no matter how bad I want to, I CAN'T play guitar, drums, bass, AND keys at the same time. -- man I need a hot girlfriend who ALSO plays everything. rofl), and various other sundry items of interest. Anyway, my parental unit, also known as my father, preached this fateful youth service. It was awesome. God moved, as usual. So we finished and I went home and entertained some wonderful company, who is about to be family btw. But regardless, Sunday rolled around, and so did the weekend grind. So we had two great services. (c'mon! What services/meetings with God aren't great?) And after church that night, we were hungry as usual. SO . . . the keyboard player from my church and myself as well as one of my other friends decided to take a ride to downtown Memphis and eat at this place called Huey's that always has a great live band every Sunday night so we can laugh at our attempt to play music every Sunday. (As well as the usual conversation, "hey dude, why don't you go ask them if you can play. lol)

So I was sitting there enjoying the ambiance and all. (If you know me, then you know how much I LOVE a live band. As well as picking them apart.) Well on this particular night I wasn't even paying attention to the band, come to think of it, I hadn't spoken a word since I sat down at the table other than to order my burger and Dr. Pepper. See, about five minutes after I sat down at the table and given my order, the Spirit of God just settled down on my side of the table and I just didn't feel like speaking. I just sat there thinking about how amazing God was. So for 45 minutes, I sat there looking at the wall and silently praying to myself. It just felt like I was being hugged REALLY tightly over and over. And in the midst of all the alcohol, cigarettes, language, which I was used to from school and such, and general "godlessness," I was honored enough to be personally 'held' by God. (I know, weird huh?) So I said to myself, "well it's just cold in here, I'll feel different when I get in the car." About that time, I heard a familiar melody floating into my ears. "Jesus on the main line, tell Him what you want. . . . Will the circle be unbroken? . . . . I'll Fly Away oh glory! . . ." I'm being as serious as I know how. The band had broken into a medley of old time Pentecostal songs! I looked up from my reverent state and stared at the ceiling and said out loud. "You've got to be freaking kidding me!" About that time my friends jumped from being startled from my sudden "outburst" of conversation and said, "huh?" And I proceeded to tell then the whole story.

So I got into the car. IT WOULDN'T LEAVE!!! So I put on my playlist that I have on my iPod of Hillsong/David Crowder Band and just leaned back in my seat, closed my eyes, and wept the whole way home. And I have been in the same state of mind ever since. It's weird. Anyway, that's my long drawn out, experience from this weekend.

Later,
Billiam