A Month in the Life

My sister, Vicki, emailed me this afternoon and mentioned that she was interested in volunteering at a hospice in Maryland - I was pretty excited about that. I, too, have been searching for volunteer opportunities at a hospice in Winston-Salem. (I know, it is not like I have tons of time on my hands, but I felt like God placed this particular service project on my heart, it was actually on Sunday during our service with Bro. Strickland)

In my mind, I went back, as he preached, to the time I connected with an elderly lady on her death bed.

It's quite sad to think of it now. I really miss her.

Her name was Jewel, and THAT she was.

Her name came across the prayer list during one of our services well over a year ago, and I just felt like I needed to go and visit her.

I called her home, but could not talk with her very easily over the phone - she had to have a tracheotomy.

She had cancer.

I planned to go to her home for a visit, to offer to do grocery shopping, clean her home, etc. I just wanted to be a friend in a time of need - little did I know that for several months, night after night, I would become what seemed to be her care-taker - it seemed that she had very little family in the area, and she was by herself often.

As you can imagine I became very close to her. We took our student ministry to her home to have church, she worshipped God and wanted to feel close to Him again. She used to go to church regularly, but had fallen away from that life years ago.

We sat at her feet and prayed often. We believed ALWAYS that God would restore her health.

General Conference was quickly approaching and after a series of visits to Baptist Hospital, she was taken to Hospice, the Kate B. Reynolds Hospice in Winston-Salem, where I plan to volunteer.

After General Conference, Dan and I along with my sister, my brother, his wife and their new little girl had planned to be away in Jamaica for a little over a week.

I had heard that it was rare for a patient to be in hospice for more than 21 days.

I visited Jewel several times in Hospice before leaving for General Conference. Essentially, I was away from her for close to two weeks straight. Her family had come at that point, so I did not feel as guilty as I would have, if she had been alone.

Jewel had signed a waiver (I guess that is what you would call it) in one of the hospitals that she visited, the waiver was a paper regarding her not being kept alive if she happened to take a turn for the worse.

I was upset that Dan witnessed her signature. I remember feeling like I did not want him to sign as a witness to the choice she had made - I know, looking back, I was probably being selfish.

We traveled from General Conference to busy schedules to Jamaica, then back home and back to work.

The first day I was back in the office, I didn't leave until almost 8 p.m.

When I left work that evening, I felt a very strong pull on my heart to go and see Jewel.

After working for many hours, I decided that if I was to go see Jewel, I would need a coffee from Dunkin Donuts. (strange... the things we remember...)

After getting a coffee, I headed straight to her Hospice room.

When I arrived, her family greeted me with smiles and hugs. (I had only met them recently, but they told me that I meant alot to Jewel and the family)

They walked out of the room shortly after I arrived to give me time to connect with Jewel.

I heard her stomach growl. If you know me at all, it would not surprise you that I was pretty passionate about getting her something to eat!

As they left the room, I took her hand, she looked into my eyes, and I asked, "Jewel, are you hungry?" "Can I get something for you to eat?" She smiled.

She had gone 28 days with no food and no water - they had given her morphine to help her during her time there.

As I sat and talked to her, realizing that I could probably get in trouble if I tried to find something in the room to feed her while her family was away, I decided to just keep holding her hand and talking to her.

I told her how much I had missed her while I was away and that I was so glad to see her.

The look on her face changed rather quickly, she seemed to look scared all of a sudden.

I said, "Jewel, you're okay, don't be afraid."

I reminded her over and over again that Jesus loved her.

It was nearly 9 p.m. - I had only been with her for close to twenty minutes before she took her last breath. (I had never seen this before... thinking of it even now, is pretty hard for me.)

I ran out into the hallway to call the nurse. The family was standing nearby, so I was cautious with my words, I said, with tears rolling down my face, "It seems like Jewel's breathing has changed."

The family gathered in the room next to Jewel's bed - they told me that they knew she was waiting to see me - one last time.

I still do not know what I did - me? who am I? I just wanted to help meet a need.

I am so thankful for the time I had with her and her family. I have grown so much from those times.

It's odd, because I have found myself in this same type of situation on three occasions in less than four years.

It's not about me. It's all about Him. Whatever He wants to do with me, I am available.

Yeah, it is such an emotional roller coaster, if you are anything like me, I tend to get attached to people rather quickly. God has a plan though, and I want to always be a part of it.

Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail!