Friday, February 08, 2008
In the office
The idgets post
So first of all, what are idgets? The word derives from the word "midget" and can be used to refer to any individual under the age of 18 years. It is primarily used, however, to describe small children, under the age of 13 years. It can also be used to describe the child (no matter what age) of any given individual(s).
My idgets
When people see me holding a baby or small child, they often comment on how cute my niece is; the only problem is: I have no niece. Neither do I have a nephew. Others naturally assume that I'm married, and my wife is out shopping while I watch the kids. The problem is, I am not now, and never have been married. It's a long story, and I might as well start at the beginning...
The Sara Complex
My older brother, Nick, was born in August of 1979. Three years later, my mother found out that she was once again pregnant. My parents were overjoyed, and decided that, if the baby were a boy, they would name him Benjamin, but if the baby were born a girl, they would name her Sara. You already know the end of the story, I was born Benjamin Jason in February of 1983. In the following years, my mother did not again become pregnant (whether through choice or chance, I do not know, but, of course, God is always involved in that process...). Over the years, both of my parents desired to have a baby girl. In the early 90s, I first heard talk about adopting a little sister. This remained at the level of talk, until my parents divorced in 1996 (I should note that my mother's brother, Greg adopted 3 children over the course of the 90s). After the divorce, I was sure that there was no chance of having an adopted baby sister (I was severely opposed to the idea, similar to how Nick was opposed to the idea of me, but I'll save that story for another day).
The College Years
My brother and I both decided to continue living with mom, primarily due to the influence of the church. My father had never been religious--raised a Jew, he never returned to synagogue after his bar mitzvah. My mother was raised Catholic, but became an Apostolic in 1980, after being taught a bible study by the woman with whom she shared a hospital room when Nick was born. Nick and I were raised in the church, and have never known anything different. When presented with the decision of which parent to choose, there was no question in my mind that I would go wherever Nick went. I only found out two years ago, when Nick spoke at the devotion at the NorthEast Bible Quizzing Extravaganza how close the decision was for him, and how much quizzing influenced him in staying in church. But that's an aside.
In any case, Nick graduated from the University of Delaware with a BA in Philosophy in 2001 and was accepted to the Master's program (MTS, I think) at Harvard Divinity School. While there had been no talk about adoption in the intervening years, suddenly this started up again. I should note that I started work on my bachelor's degree at the University of Delaware at the same time (Fall 2001). Suddenly, with a partially-empty nest, my mom started wanting kids again. I thought she was out of her mind. My mother has suffered many debilitating injuries since I was in kindergarten; she's partially disabled and can't really take care of the chores around the house (there was a period when she couldn't drive, so after school Nick or I would pick her up from working, if she could work). I thought there was no way she could successfully take care of any kind of child. But she persisted. I can't recall which year this occurred, but she began taking classes on foster parenting. I vaguely recall going to the Family Services office to be fingerprinted (apparently I passed the background check). I don't believe she finished the class, but a few years later, she began taking them again. I distinctly recall being fingerprinted in a classroom in a local church which was then practicing for its Christmas drama. Apparently, mom finished the class, and signed up for foster parenting. Knowing her limits she decided that she could only look after small children on weekends--foster "respite" care.
The idgets
Taylor
In January 2007, while I was very wary of taking care of small kids (I have very little experience--which mostly consists of yelling at church kids to stop running around the church...), I got a call that my mom was expecting to watch two little girls over the second weekend of January. (At this point I was about to begin the final semester of my MA at UD). I distinctly recall showing up to Friday night prayer service (I had worked all day) and seeing a tiny baby girl and a scared 4 year old who just had a blank look in her eyes. There was nothing I could do to make the 4 year old smile or even speak. She simply went to bed and sobbed for her mommy (I found out later she had been in foster care for less than 2 weeks). While I was at a loss for what to do with the 4 year old, I had even less of a clue what I should do with the baby. The baby was 3 weeks old, and had been born 6 weeks early, so she was about 4.5 pounds--the smallest baby I had ever seen face-to-face. She almost never opened her eyes, and she opened her mouth only to cry. After I put her down to sleep for the night on Saturday night, I just sat there for an hour, watching her breathe. Apparently babies stop breathing for about 5 seconds between breaths and this is normal--but I had no idea, so around 3am, I just had to trust God with her and go to sleep.
Chloe
It got easier. While the baby didn't sleep through the night, she only woke up about twice every night, and between my schedule of falling asleep late, and my mother's of waking up early, I would only have to get up once each night. So Sunday afternoon, we were able to relinquish the kids back to her foster mother, and all was right with the world. I went to work on Monday and everything was normal.
And then they come home...
Thursday evening, I received a call from my mother, she was a bit apprehensive, but she ended up letting me know that the State had called and informed that the two girls' foster mother could no longer take care of them, and they needed a place to stay that night. My mother agreed and informed me. As a political science major I know that, once the state finds you are willing to do something, they'll always attempt to see what else they can get out of you. Still haunted by the 4 year old's blank stare and nightly tears, I agreed knowing that these girls need Jesus. I had no idea how long they would be around.
Taylor-a name which I will ascribe to the 4 year old (for her protection), was and is still afraid of males, so she clung to my mother. Since the baby didn't know the difference, I ended up taking care of her. I'll call her Chloe, just for fun. Over the following 2.5 months, I ended up developing a profound connection between this baby and myself--she was more comfortable with me than with anyone else. And she started growing. I initially order her a bunch of clothes from the "preemie" section of Gap, and bought her a lot of 0-3 month clothing.
At the end of March, the girls went back to live with their mother. And they took part of me with them. And then Natalie showed up...but we'll have to discuss that later, right now I have to get some work done...
Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to Reply.
My idgets
When people see me holding a baby or small child, they often comment on how cute my niece is; the only problem is: I have no niece. Neither do I have a nephew. Others naturally assume that I'm married, and my wife is out shopping while I watch the kids. The problem is, I am not now, and never have been married. It's a long story, and I might as well start at the beginning...
The Sara Complex
My older brother, Nick, was born in August of 1979. Three years later, my mother found out that she was once again pregnant. My parents were overjoyed, and decided that, if the baby were a boy, they would name him Benjamin, but if the baby were born a girl, they would name her Sara. You already know the end of the story, I was born Benjamin Jason in February of 1983. In the following years, my mother did not again become pregnant (whether through choice or chance, I do not know, but, of course, God is always involved in that process...). Over the years, both of my parents desired to have a baby girl. In the early 90s, I first heard talk about adopting a little sister. This remained at the level of talk, until my parents divorced in 1996 (I should note that my mother's brother, Greg adopted 3 children over the course of the 90s). After the divorce, I was sure that there was no chance of having an adopted baby sister (I was severely opposed to the idea, similar to how Nick was opposed to the idea of me, but I'll save that story for another day).
The College Years
My brother and I both decided to continue living with mom, primarily due to the influence of the church. My father had never been religious--raised a Jew, he never returned to synagogue after his bar mitzvah. My mother was raised Catholic, but became an Apostolic in 1980, after being taught a bible study by the woman with whom she shared a hospital room when Nick was born. Nick and I were raised in the church, and have never known anything different. When presented with the decision of which parent to choose, there was no question in my mind that I would go wherever Nick went. I only found out two years ago, when Nick spoke at the devotion at the NorthEast Bible Quizzing Extravaganza how close the decision was for him, and how much quizzing influenced him in staying in church. But that's an aside.
In any case, Nick graduated from the University of Delaware with a BA in Philosophy in 2001 and was accepted to the Master's program (MTS, I think) at Harvard Divinity School. While there had been no talk about adoption in the intervening years, suddenly this started up again. I should note that I started work on my bachelor's degree at the University of Delaware at the same time (Fall 2001). Suddenly, with a partially-empty nest, my mom started wanting kids again. I thought she was out of her mind. My mother has suffered many debilitating injuries since I was in kindergarten; she's partially disabled and can't really take care of the chores around the house (there was a period when she couldn't drive, so after school Nick or I would pick her up from working, if she could work). I thought there was no way she could successfully take care of any kind of child. But she persisted. I can't recall which year this occurred, but she began taking classes on foster parenting. I vaguely recall going to the Family Services office to be fingerprinted (apparently I passed the background check). I don't believe she finished the class, but a few years later, she began taking them again. I distinctly recall being fingerprinted in a classroom in a local church which was then practicing for its Christmas drama. Apparently, mom finished the class, and signed up for foster parenting. Knowing her limits she decided that she could only look after small children on weekends--foster "respite" care.
The idgets
Taylor
In January 2007, while I was very wary of taking care of small kids (I have very little experience--which mostly consists of yelling at church kids to stop running around the church...), I got a call that my mom was expecting to watch two little girls over the second weekend of January. (At this point I was about to begin the final semester of my MA at UD). I distinctly recall showing up to Friday night prayer service (I had worked all day) and seeing a tiny baby girl and a scared 4 year old who just had a blank look in her eyes. There was nothing I could do to make the 4 year old smile or even speak. She simply went to bed and sobbed for her mommy (I found out later she had been in foster care for less than 2 weeks). While I was at a loss for what to do with the 4 year old, I had even less of a clue what I should do with the baby. The baby was 3 weeks old, and had been born 6 weeks early, so she was about 4.5 pounds--the smallest baby I had ever seen face-to-face. She almost never opened her eyes, and she opened her mouth only to cry. After I put her down to sleep for the night on Saturday night, I just sat there for an hour, watching her breathe. Apparently babies stop breathing for about 5 seconds between breaths and this is normal--but I had no idea, so around 3am, I just had to trust God with her and go to sleep.
Chloe
It got easier. While the baby didn't sleep through the night, she only woke up about twice every night, and between my schedule of falling asleep late, and my mother's of waking up early, I would only have to get up once each night. So Sunday afternoon, we were able to relinquish the kids back to her foster mother, and all was right with the world. I went to work on Monday and everything was normal.
And then they come home...
Thursday evening, I received a call from my mother, she was a bit apprehensive, but she ended up letting me know that the State had called and informed that the two girls' foster mother could no longer take care of them, and they needed a place to stay that night. My mother agreed and informed me. As a political science major I know that, once the state finds you are willing to do something, they'll always attempt to see what else they can get out of you. Still haunted by the 4 year old's blank stare and nightly tears, I agreed knowing that these girls need Jesus. I had no idea how long they would be around.
Taylor-a name which I will ascribe to the 4 year old (for her protection), was and is still afraid of males, so she clung to my mother. Since the baby didn't know the difference, I ended up taking care of her. I'll call her Chloe, just for fun. Over the following 2.5 months, I ended up developing a profound connection between this baby and myself--she was more comfortable with me than with anyone else. And she started growing. I initially order her a bunch of clothes from the "preemie" section of Gap, and bought her a lot of 0-3 month clothing.
At the end of March, the girls went back to live with their mother. And they took part of me with them. And then Natalie showed up...but we'll have to discuss that later, right now I have to get some work done...
Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to Reply.
A Half-Month in the Life...
So I really didn't intend for this to be a "half month in the life," but busy-ness happens. I will try to make this up over the weekend...
I've got the idgets this weekend, so I don't know how successful I will be at posting, but I will make an attempt.
Speaking of the idgets...
E-mail.
I've got the idgets this weekend, so I don't know how successful I will be at posting, but I will make an attempt.
Speaking of the idgets...
E-mail.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Decision 2008
To vote...catch you later.
http://maps.google.com/decision2008
Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail!
http://maps.google.com/decision2008
Questions, comments, concerns? Please feel free to E-mail!
?
>>A Month in the Life
>>Greetings from the East Coast! Take me to your leader.
Monday, February 04, 2008
Hammertime
Unfortunately for you, my devoted readers, I had quite the productive weekend. It's unfortunate for you because I was much too productive to post anything to this blog, thus forcing you to get on with your own life, rather than sitting in front of your computer and reading about mine. As an aside, you should know that there exist 3 reasons why I might be blogging at any given moment:
1) I'm bored, having nothing better to do
2) I'm mad about something and want to rant
3) I feel obligated to do so (Most of my blogging stems from #3 - hence my original blog, which was actually my senior "capstone" project at UD - http://udel.edu/~bencohen/about.shtml)
In any case, I was quite productive this weekend. I decided that some furniture needed to be migrated--thus reorganizing rooms, along with some much-needed cleaning. I also replaced the locks on my front and garage doors (kids--what can you do?); I even took down the christmas tree (I have a good explanation for this...later).
So I know you missed me...what have I been up to today, you ask? Well today has been one of those Murphy's law days...you know--one of those days when everyone decided to bombard you with new tasks and old ones that need fixing? That's where I'm at today. I promised the Chief Marketing Office last week that I would have some work-flow modifications made to a marketing process by the "middle of the week," so that's been my main priority, however I also got thrown for a loop by some requests for website/intranet changes, software that needed to be installed on a server yesterday, an hour-long tech support call with a software vendor trying to fix my broken sql server (which necessitates that I work remotely later tonight), a PC that needs tax-specific software installed, a user that was not being automatically authenticated, some miscellaneous problems (among them a broken video card that caused my screen to flicker on and off), and then there's all that regular work that I do...
So you'll have to accept my apology if I don't blog about anything substantive today...in fact I'm late for quiz practice...
But how was your day?
Questions, comments, concerns? Please don't E-mail!
1) I'm bored, having nothing better to do
2) I'm mad about something and want to rant
3) I feel obligated to do so (Most of my blogging stems from #3 - hence my original blog, which was actually my senior "capstone" project at UD - http://udel.edu/~bencohen/about.shtml)
In any case, I was quite productive this weekend. I decided that some furniture needed to be migrated--thus reorganizing rooms, along with some much-needed cleaning. I also replaced the locks on my front and garage doors (kids--what can you do?); I even took down the christmas tree (I have a good explanation for this...later).
So I know you missed me...what have I been up to today, you ask? Well today has been one of those Murphy's law days...you know--one of those days when everyone decided to bombard you with new tasks and old ones that need fixing? That's where I'm at today. I promised the Chief Marketing Office last week that I would have some work-flow modifications made to a marketing process by the "middle of the week," so that's been my main priority, however I also got thrown for a loop by some requests for website/intranet changes, software that needed to be installed on a server yesterday, an hour-long tech support call with a software vendor trying to fix my broken sql server (which necessitates that I work remotely later tonight), a PC that needs tax-specific software installed, a user that was not being automatically authenticated, some miscellaneous problems (among them a broken video card that caused my screen to flicker on and off), and then there's all that regular work that I do...
So you'll have to accept my apology if I don't blog about anything substantive today...in fact I'm late for quiz practice...
But how was your day?
Questions, comments, concerns? Please don't E-mail!
