Collideoscope

Posted by: David Bunch

The prize, presented with tongue implanted in cheek, is given each year for the worst opening sentence to an imaginary novel.

Here is winner Jim Guigli's appalling entry:

"Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean."

The Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest was started in 1982 by the English Department at San Jose State University to honor the Victorian novelist who opened his 1830 novel "Paul Clifford" with what were to become the immortal words, "It was a dark and stormy night."

I wrote some stuff in high school and college that I believe would have been strong entries.