BootCamp: Day 3 My Afternoon
Posted by: HelpSaveSam
Finally I was safely back to my room. To be honest I was feeling more than just overheated and tired when I got there. I mentioned in an earlier blog about being a part of a home missions church. What I did not mention was that my father is the pastor and our entire family has been engaged in major spiritual and physical battles. The burden and brokenness had followed me to BootCamp. I knew I had come for a personal touch and healing from God. I had to have it – if not I would never survive going back home. The first two days of BootCamp had been awesome, but as my physical body tired, the weakness of my emotions and spirit became obvious to me. The high of Friday was matched with its low on Saturday.
I was battling feelings of loneliness, rejection, and depression. I didn’t understand how I could be feeling so low while surrounded by such miracles! Yesterday was incredible – why the spiritual attack today? The weight was too much for me. I thought the yoke was suppossed to be easy and the burden light – why am I dreading going back? “God please send me someone who will make me feel a part of this – someone to make me feel loved.” I cried and prayed myself to sleep.
I woke up after a three hour nap – physically energized, but still broken. “Jesus, please put someone in my path. I can not go home like this. I want to be 100% a part of what is going on here. Please God, please help me.” My roommates came back. They told me about the awesome BBQ food and passing out backpacks to the homeless. Their testimonies were great, but I was still struggling inside. They prayed for God to bless me. I prayed with all the faith I had that God would deliver me.
Finally I was safely back to my room. To be honest I was feeling more than just overheated and tired when I got there. I mentioned in an earlier blog about being a part of a home missions church. What I did not mention was that my father is the pastor and our entire family has been engaged in major spiritual and physical battles. The burden and brokenness had followed me to BootCamp. I knew I had come for a personal touch and healing from God. I had to have it – if not I would never survive going back home. The first two days of BootCamp had been awesome, but as my physical body tired, the weakness of my emotions and spirit became obvious to me. The high of Friday was matched with its low on Saturday.
I was battling feelings of loneliness, rejection, and depression. I didn’t understand how I could be feeling so low while surrounded by such miracles! Yesterday was incredible – why the spiritual attack today? The weight was too much for me. I thought the yoke was suppossed to be easy and the burden light – why am I dreading going back? “God please send me someone who will make me feel a part of this – someone to make me feel loved.” I cried and prayed myself to sleep.
I woke up after a three hour nap – physically energized, but still broken. “Jesus, please put someone in my path. I can not go home like this. I want to be 100% a part of what is going on here. Please God, please help me.” My roommates came back. They told me about the awesome BBQ food and passing out backpacks to the homeless. Their testimonies were great, but I was still struggling inside. They prayed for God to bless me. I prayed with all the faith I had that God would deliver me.
