Collideoscope

Posted by: Denelle

While the the myth of casual sex comes as no surprise to Christians it is still amazing to see the staggering number of our own that buy into the deception. I don't know if I could even begin to count the number of friends, let alone acquaintances, that have discovered that "free love", "friends with benefits", and even "sex with the one you love but aren't married to" is nothing more than a set-up for heartache.

In the article "Casual Sex Is A Con" (an excerpt from The Thrill of the Chaste), Dawn Eden describes her journey from free love - as a groupie and music historian, to chastity - and the peace that accompanies this choice.

I've pulled some of the parts of this article that I feel are the most relevant, that hit the closest to home and speak the loudest to our culture as a whole:

I was determined not to get hurt the way I had seen my mother hurt. Having premarital sex seemed like a surefire way to get burnt. So I decided early on that I would not have sex until . . . marriage? That would be great. However, I didn’t think I could wait until then. Instead, I resolved that I would wait to have sex until I was really “in love” — whatever that meant . . .

As a teenager with no moral foundation for my resolution to save my virginity for Mr Right — other than a fear of being hurt by Mr Wrong — I felt free to push the envelope. No, more than free. I became one of those mythical virgins who does “everything but” . . .

Whatever Greer and her ilk might say I’ve tried their philosophy — that a woman can shag like a man — and it doesn’t work. We’re not built like that. Women are built for bonding. We are vessels and we seek to be filled. For that reason, however much we try and convince ourselves that it isn’t so, sex will always leave us feeling empty unless we are certain that we are loved, that the act is part of a bigger picture that we are loved for our whole selves not just our bodies . . .

Our culture — both in the media via programmes such as Sex and the City and in everyday interactions — relentlessly puts forth the idea that lust is a way station on the road to love. It isn’t. It left me with a brittle facade incapable of real intimacy . . .

The champions of the sexual revolution are cynical. They know in their tin hearts that casual sex doesn’t make women happy. That’s why they feel the need continually to promote it . . .

I commend Ms. Eden on being willing to go against the flow of culture today and tell the truth about the pain that promiscuity inflicts.

In a world that tries with every magazine, every t.v. show, every movie, billboard, cd, and advertisement to convince us that sex is the way to happiness it is VITAL that people - especially people who have lived that life and can speak from experience - be just as loud in proclaiming the reality.