Channeling a Passion-Explosion

Earlier this summer, I was privileged to experience Matisyahu in concert. Two days later, I suffered from ringing ears. Two weeks later, I was still reeling from emotional trauma … I think I’m scarred for life.

Not all scars are bad, though.

As my friend, Nate, and I walked though the overcrowded parking lot that night, he asked what I thought about the concert. I couldn’t place my finger on my feelings. Too many things were going on in my head. The Alaskan midnight sun set the whole scene as being a bit surreal. My equilibrium was off due to temporary deafness. And I was fighting back the crushing urge to lie down beside Nate’s Subaru and cry. Something was going on inside me.

Now, looking back on that night, I smile and think, Yep, that’s what it is to be a disciple of Jesus in the 21st century.

Let me explain.

After mulling it over, I’ve sorted out my feelings about that night. There was one thing that really rattled my contentment … and it had nothing to do with me being older, white-bread, Apostolic, or a pastor. Simply put, Matisyahu’s passion overwhelmed me.

You see, Matisyahu has this crazy ability to weave lyrics and beat-boxing and music and theology together in a way that fully expresses who he is. And more, he articulates his affection for God in a way that reminds me of David’s psalms; earthy, simple, artistic, reverent, relevant.

And Jesus thumped my heart on this topic. What am I doing with the abilities he gave me? Where is my obsession, my intensity? Then I felt his gentle foot nudging my lazy rear. I want to have a … a passion-explosion … and I want to channel it into something beautiful! I want to express myself, my challenges, my frustrations, my successes, and my experiences in a way that reveals my God’s grace to others.

That’s when realization poured over me. I am a writer! What passion-explosions I’ve experienced were almost always while writing, behind closed doors, where no one saw.

Let me explain it this way. I feel very alive when I write … moving words around on a screen like a chess player setting up for the kill. It’s weird, I know. But other writers understand what it is to create something thought-provoking and potentially life-changing out of nothing but words. To fully express yourself. It's like finally breathing fresh air after too much time in a raunchy public restroom.

And so, from yet another unsuspecting source of inspiration, I am compelled by the master onward to create and instigate and revive … with words. So I write.

And in you, my friend, is there a mixture of heaviness and giddiness and inspiration and frustration when you read an article, or enter a Barnes and Nobles, or when you read the lyrics of your favorite band? You just may be another disciple discovering that Jesus wants a passion-explosion, channeled into words; your words.

What’s this feeling? My love will rip a hole in the ceiling.
I’m giving myself to you from the essence of my being.
And I sing to my God all these songs of love and healing
(excerpt from Matisyahu’s King without a Crown)

~Toby Stevens

http://www.thejourneyanchorage.org/