Song of Myself ... and My God

A few months ago, I was struggling to get our church to really look at themselves. We needed to explore and express the real needs in our lives … not just the petty things tossed out during prayer requests.

Sore throats, wacko bosses, upcoming tests; this kind of stuff only fills in awkward silences. I wanted us all to voice our depression, lusts, depravity and frustrations with God and life. I wanted us to get real, so we could move forward in the process of becoming whole.

One Saturday at the coffee shop, my wife (Ellen) and I met with our friend Margie. We began talking about this issue. Then, in the middle of my rant, it hit me. I become real with myself when I write … so … the church should write. An essay? An autobiography? A poem? A poem!

I explained my genius plan to them. Why couldn’t we dedicate one Sunday to looking inward, and writing a poem as part of our looking upward? Margie clapped her hands and looked excited, but I’ve also seen her do that for documentaries on quantum physics.

I opened my laptop and began working on a format that the whole congregation could use to write a poem. When I finished, I tried it out on Margie. Throughout the process of writing her poem, she kept reminding me, “I don’t normally cry, but this is so powerful.”

Sunday came, and with my best preachery tone, I attempted to rally them by raising my fist and announcing, “In order to truly become who we want to be, like David of old let’s write a psalm! This will force us to explore our inner pain and frustrations and look to God to help us become free and whole!”

The whole congregation groaned like 7th graders when given an assignment. I do love them so. And then I passed out pens and paper.

The room was abuzz with silence and awkward anticipation. I explained that I was giving them a format to write their poem.

Many people moved their chairs, distancing themselves from everyone else.

The EXIT door clicked. Several empty seats immediately appeared.

A few people began to weep just at the thought of looking into their own lives and writing about their needs. They all had the same expression on their faces that seemed to say, I’ve been caught with my pants down! Their body language screamed out, Please! Please! Anything but writing … especially about myself!

Jars of Clay began to play in the background, “See the art in me …” And we began a very tough individualized process of introspection, writing, weeping and repenting. We concluded with very heartfelt group prayers of hope and healing.

Later that night, we had some friends from the church over for dinner. Many of them brought their poems and showed them to me and Ellen secretly.

With tears still in their eyes, they all said, “Thank you for making us do this.”

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~Toby Stevens

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www.thejourneyanchorage.org

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The poem format ... this is not registered, copyrighted, patented, or postmarked ... so use it as you please. There are 10 lines to this poem (or psalm).

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Line 1: Write one or two words that best summarize the area of your life that needs healing … something within you that isn’t whole.

Line 2: Write down a thought that the nagging voice in your head has told you about this same thing ( in the 1st person ... I)

Line 3: Write one or two words that reveal elements of your struggle ... that depict your struggle.

Line 4: Write one line that you fear other people were/are saying about this area of your life (in 2nd person ... You)

Line 5: Write, “But the Lord is my shepherd, he restores my soul”

Line 6: Write 2 words that summarize your efforts to overcome, to become whole.

Line 7: Write a sentence that you’d like to hear other people say about your efforts to become whole … about your healing and changes and growth. (in 3rd person ... He/She)

Line 8: Write 2 words that summarize the person you want to become.

Line 9: Write a sentence that you want to be able to say about yourself. (in 1st person ... I)

Line 10: Write,”Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life”.

Title: Choose a title that best describes your journey of becoming who you want to be